Can you be a Hot Mama?
Today I’m part of Kathi Lipp’s amazing 5 Books in 5 Days Marriage Event! She’s featuring a different author everyday, and you can win all 5 books! Read to the bottom to find out how to enter. And today, Erin MacPherson, Kathi’s coauthor in her new book Hot Mama, joins us in return for Wifey Wednesday. You’ll love this:
My old German grandmother used to tell me that I was never going to catch any fish just lying by the pond under a shade tree looking pretty. I had to actually pull out a line, hook on some bait and fish.
Okay, she didn’t say that.
But I think she would have had she had the opportunity to see me when I first got married. I loved being a newlywed—really I did. But I was a little bit…shall we call it… lazy. And I figured that if I sat on the couch with all of my feminine charms, my husband would just want me.
And he did. For a while.
But then things got busy. Job, mortgage, puppy, baby, another baby, another mortgage, another puppy, another baby…and, well, you get the picture. Finding time (and energy and desire) for sex became downright impossible.
And sex became less frequent.
My feminine charms started to feel less-than-charming.
My husband and I had what I now (somewhat) lovingly refer to as “that talk in 2012.” The gist of it was this: He did love me. He did find me hot and charming and desirable and all that jazz. But he was getting a bit tired of reaching out and getting things started while I sat on the couch and batted my eyelashes.
Good girls aren’t supposed to ask for sex, are they?
Enter Sheila Wray Gregiore. I confess: The only reason I picked up her book is because I felt like she was going to take my side. I mean, the word “good girl” was right there in the title, so obviously she was going to tell me that I was right, my husband was wrong and that I could just keep on doing things my old and comfortable way.
But she didn’t.
She told me that it’s okay for girls—even good girls—to like sex.
And she also told me that it’s important—even necessary—for us good girls to initiate sex from time-to-time. Not only to tell our husbands that we want them just as much as they want us (which is important) but also because it empowers us to be the women and the wives that God called us to be.
I clearly had some learning to do.
And God clearly has a sense of humor, because right as I started learning (and okay, trying), I got a contract to write my own sex book. (Yes, me, the quintessential “good girl” writing a sex book. Imagine that.) And so I really had to up my game. To change my ways. And to show my husband that he is worth getting off the couch for. Every single time.
I’m still not done learning yet, but I have amended my ways somewhat. And I do manage to my share of initiating from time-to-time.
And you can too.
Here are twenty ways that you can pull it off (literally) tonight.
1. Walk up to him and kiss him on the lips. Like it counts. Then lean back, look into his eyes, raise your eyebrows and kiss him again. Works. Every. Time.
2. Grab his butt when he walks by.
3. Send him text messages throughout the day, telling him exactly what you are going to do when he gets home.
4. Take off your clothes, walk into whatever room he is in. 1-2-done.
5. Buy new lingerie. Leave the receipt on the counter with a note that says “this is already on.”
6. Say, “I’m going to bed. Want to come?” Simple, but effective.
7. Wake him up with a big, sloppy kiss.
8. Leave a Post-It note on his steering wheel.
9. Wear your hottest panties under your clothes. Slide down your jeans to let him catch a glimpse.
10. Let him tuck the kids in. Wait for him in bed with nothing on.
11. Write it on his calendar in red. (Just make sure it’s not a shared work calendar. That could be embarrassing.)
12. Just do it. Literally, just grab his hand, pull him into the bedroom and do it.
13. Come up with a code word that means sex. Use that word as often as possible throughout the day.
14. Flash him. (Just make sure to pull down your shades first.)
15. Buy new (red, satin) sheets. Ask him to give them a try.
16. Let him walk into the kitchen and find you cooking a la Garth Brooks—with nothing but an apron.
17. Offer to give him a massage.
18. Play a little game of strip Uno. Instead of having to draw four, make him take off four items of clothing.
19. Turn on a favorite song. Ask him to dance right there in your living room.
20. Next time he’s in the shower, hop in with him.
There you go, ladies! Have some fun!
Erin MacPherson and Kathi Lipp are authors of Hot Mama, an awesome book to show you how you can have a hot sex life–even if you’re a mom with mashed bananas on your sweatshirt.
And now–head on over to read my post on Kathi’s blog on why sex is for you, too–and then comment at the end for a chance to win all 5 marriage books!
Are you a marriage blogger? Don’t forget to link up a marriage post in today’s Wifey Wednesday! Just add the URL to the linky below. And then be sure to link back here so other people can read these awesome posts, too.
Sex is supposed to be stupendous--physically, emotionally, AND spiritually. If it's not, get The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex--and find out what you've been missing.