AND I also get to expand on a few things that I started talking about, and share with you some of the things that are going on behind the scenes, in my real life.
So today I thought I’d talk a little bit more about the wedding night, since we’ve been focusing on that this week.
What’s #1 This Week
#1 on the Blog: Why the Duggar Abuse Scandal Matters
#1 on Facebook: How to Stop Temper Tantrums Before They Start
#1 on Pinterest: A Simple Thank You Can Transform Your Marriage
#1 on Twitter: 16 Ways to Flirt with Your Husband
Talking To Your Daughters About the Honeymoon
I know many of you are in the throes of diapers and lunchboxes and minivans.
But I also have readers at the other end of the parenting years–like me–whose children are now growing up and leaving the nest.
A reader sent me this question:
My daughter will be getting married and she is a virgin. Not sure if you’ve already done something like this but could you do a blog summarizing good books to give to virgin newlyweds and how to encourage mother-daughter talks before the wedding night? Anything along those lines. I see that your daughter will be getting married soon. So what kind of special preparations are you doing with her that can set her honeymoon off in the right direction?
Great question! And I hope I helped you out a bit this week with my Top 10 Wedding Night tips. Have her read that–it’s super practical, and it may start some good conversations.
And remember to pick up my book The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex. It’s great for ANY married women, but my prayer is really that all engaged women will read it (I do have a chapter in it just on the honeymoon, with help for those who are virgins and some thoughts for those who are not). I think if women read it earlier they can avoid a lot of problems later!
The hard part, I think, is just talking about the specifics. And some specifics she may not really want to talk to you about: will it hurt; do I need lubrication; it may be messy; etc. etc. Those things are great to talk about if you’re comfortable, but it’s honestly okay to hear it from a book.
I think the message she does need from you is this one: Just relax. You have a whole marriage to get this right, and just have fun and explore and don’t worry if it’s not perfect right off the bat!
One other thing she really needs from you is honest talk about birth control (if she’s planning on using it). Many girls are really clueless about this, and are absolutely paranoid about getting pregnant right away. And that’s the sort of thing she can’t learn from peers who haven’t had years of experience yet. So having that conversation with her could be really useful.
Finally, get her something super cute and frilly to wear. Buy her a really nice nightgown. Seriously. Don’t do the over-the-top lingerie (discreetly make sure she has some friends who are throwing that kind of shower for her); but do buy her something really pretty so you give her the message: “you are gorgeous, you are lovely, you are all grown up, and I gladly launch you into married life well!”
I’m Cleaning Out My House–And Making It Worse
So Katie is moving out this summer, leaving us empty nesters, and we’re changing the whole house around. The basement is going to become an apartment so that we can have more long-term guests, and Rebecca’s old room will become a YouTube studio for me (and for Katie when she’s home). But that means that we have to condense all our stuff (I have another word for “all our stuff” for it right now that isn’t really printable).
When I was in Colorado speaking Katie totally cleaned up our exercise room. It was gorgeous. But the way she cleaned it up was by stacking things neatly in the closet. I now need the closet to move our stuff from the basement, so I’ve been going through everything and sorting. And it is so much worse! Sigh. I know this will get better, but what a mess!
What Movies Taught Katie