It’s time for my Friday Round-Up, where I post what’s been big on the blog and in social media this week, and also provide a bit of a sneak peek into my life and some of the things that I’ve been thinking about recently.
And today I want to talk about how my views on courtship and dating have changed a bit over the years as my girls have grown.
What’s #1 at To Love, Honor and Vacuum
#1 on the Blog: When Texting/Facebook Cross the Line
#1 on Facebook: Praying As a Couple Naturally
#1 on Pinterest: How Sex is Also a Spiritual Experience
#1 on Twitter: 9 FUN tips to make SEX great for you, too!
How My Views on Dating and Courtship Have Changed
I haven’t written about teens dating in a while, but my daughter recently posted a funny video on dating vs. courtship, because we’ve been talking about it a lot at home.
When Rebecca, my oldest, was 13, I had her read Josh Harris’ book I Kissed Dating Goodbye. I read it around that time and I really believed it. I saw how dating in high school really didn’t accomplish anything, and how it could easily get you involved physically too easily. And how your heart could really get messed up.
A few years after that I wrote a post called 7 Ways to Raise a Teen Who Won’t Date Too Young, which was actually the #1 post here at the blog for about 2 years. I didn’t want my kids to date in high school, and my kids largely agreed.
In fact, here’s Katie talking about why dating in high school is a bad idea:
But while I still think dating when you’re 14 isn’t wise, I don’t share the same pro-courtship views I did when my kids were 14. I explained a bit in this post why I think it’s important to encourage young people to go out for coffee with friends and to get to know as many people as possible. The courtship movement can create social recluses a little bit too much, and can put so much pressure on a relationship to be serious before the two people even get to know each other.
I don’t want my girls to be in a ton of different serious relationships–I do think that this does lead to a lot of temptation and a lot of heartache. But at the same time, I do want my kids to get to know a lot of people, and to have fun, and to figure out who they work with.
And I also know that many of us don’t have “that feeling” the first time that we meet someone. Sometimes it’s only after being friends and spending a ton of time together that romantic feelings grow. That’s what it was like for me and my husband, and that’s what it was like for Rebecca and her fiance. If we had waited to “court”, we likely wouldn’t have spent that time together, and then those feelings wouldn’t have grown.
To be clear, too, we were only spending time together as friends. But courtship discourages one on one time between people of the opposite sex, even if they’re just friends. And that just puts so many barriers up to normal, healthy relationship.
So I still believe that most dating in high school is silly and unnecessary. But once you’re 18? Or even 17 if you’re mature? Then start getting to know a lot of people. It’s likely healthier.
Here’s Katie’s newest video about it. If you agree, I know she’d appreciate it if you shared it! Just go to the YouTube page and you can share it on Facebook or wherever you’d like!
Wedding Stuff is Overwhelming…
I am so NOT a detail person. And so when I have a HUGE event in my future (my daughter’s wedding next month) that I have to juggle everything for, I wake up every morning thinking, “what have I forgotten to do already today?” I am so looking forward to the actual day when there’s nothing else I could do, even if I wanted to.
If anyone has any pointers on getting organized for a wedding, I’d love to know it!
Some Giveaways Are Coming…
On Facebook soon, so be sure to like the page and keep checking! I’ll be running some this weekend.
And have a wonderful weekend, everyone!