It’s Wednesday, the day when we always talk marriage!
And today, since I’m flying to Colorado Springs to tape Focus on the Family’s radio show tomorrow (it won’t air until this summer! I’ll tell you when, don’t worry), I thought I’d share a snippet I thought was really smart that was sent to me recently.
Through conflict we can grow more like Jesus, see the world in a bigger way, and learn to be less selfish. We can feel understood and valued by our spouse. We can end up feeling that our marriage is rock solid.
But that doesn’t happen if conflict tears down rather than builds up.
So if you want it to build up, follow these 6 steps:
Great tips from Embrace Happiness: The Art of Conflict Management.
I love #6–remind yourself that your spouse cares. It’s just like Believe the Best that we talked about last week!
Now I know not all conflict can go that smoothly. Some of us struggle with spouses who are deep in sin or who are extremely selfish. But that is a minority of relationships. Usually it’s just a misunderstanding that’s making us feel off kilter.
To repair those moments, keep in mind these rules.
And here are more relationship conflict posts that may help:
What are Your Trigger Points for Conflict?
And for those of you where the issue is something more intense, and where the relationship is tenuous, I’d point to these instead:
Being a Peace-MAKER Rather than a Peace-KEEPER
Seeking Peace not the Absence of Conflict
Have a great day!
Now, what advice do you have for us today? If you’re a blogger, too, just paste the URL of a specific marriage post in the linky below! And be sure to link back here so others can see these great posts.
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Sheila Wray Gregoire has been married for 29 years and happily married for 24! She loves traveling around North America with her hubby in their RV, giving her signature "Girl Talk" about sex and marriage. And she's written 7 books. About sex and marriage. See a theme here? Plus she knits. Even in line at the grocery store.
It’s great! I love this pic. My problem is I can do all those things and I’m getting better at them with help from my life coach.
But it’s a one way street with my wife who can’t do these things, really all of them. It makes me feel stuck and hurt.
I love No. 5 focusing on what’s right not who is right. At the end of the conflict, no one wins if only one person wins. The point is to use the conflict to draw you closer to one another and find a solution that works for both of you. Thanks, Sheila, for sharing a great resource … pinned it. : )
Great post! One of the best things I’ve ever heard someone say about conflict in marriage is my old small group leader. He said he and his wife were always able to fight “well” because they knew no problem was bigger than their relationship. It sounds simple, but it’s really profound!