Today, please welcome Jared Brock, writer of A Year of Living Prayerfully, a humorous travel memoir about prayer. Jared is sharing five great ways to pray for your husband.
The email read as follows: “Hey Jared, can you write an article called ‘5 Ways to Pray for Your Husband?’”
I thought about it for a moment, then laughed out loud. How was I supposed to know five ways to pray for a husband? I’ve never been married to a dude.
Yep, I’m that slow.
It eventually dawned on me that I’d been given a wonderful opportunity. The opportunity to answer an entirely different question:
“What are five ways that my wife can pray for me?”
That I can do.
1. People
Ladies, I’ll be honest: we boys don’t play well with others.
There’s a reason why most of our fathers are lone rangers, who don’t have any close male friends. It’s hard to be open, honest, and understanding.
Pray that we’d find ways to cultivate and maintain a ‘band of brothers,’ a group of godly men with whom we can share life. This will massively impact our entire existence, and it’ll overflow into our ability to be a good husband and father.
2. Purity
If you ever meet a man that says he doesn’t struggle with lust, just run. It really is ‘every man’s battle.’
We love our spouses – deeply – and it’s that bond of love that keeps most of us ‘walking the line.’ But your prayers are what keep us pursuing an even higher standard. The sin nature is strong, and we need the spiritual support to purpose that intimate oneness that God invites us into, together.
3. Pride
It’s not that we’re right every time, but it’s really close. Our opinion is the most accurate, our political position is the right one, our belief system is the most true. It’s ugly, really. I don’t know where our deep need to always be right comes from, but it’s certainly anti-Jesus.
Pray that we’d allow the Holy Spirit to turn our hearts of stone into hearts of flesh, that we’d care more about ‘His kingdom come’ than ‘our will be done.’
4. Passion
Guys get loud when they watch NFL or UFC, but have you ever seen that happen during a Sunday church service? We’re dying here.
Pray that churches would find ways to reach men. Pray that godly grizzlies would seek us out and mentor us. Pray that churches would get creative with adding movement and action to the standard contemplative rhythms of the modern meeting.
5. Purpose
There’s a reason why so many guys play video games – we’re looking for a mission. For the most part, our 9-5 is killing us. We crave meaning and purpose, more than you can imagine. But we’re stuck.
Pray that we’d have the energy, endurance, creativity, and will to fight for our dreams and passions. Pray that we’ll enter the fullness of our calling – to do all that we were created to do, and be all that we were created to be.
I’m sure there are hundreds of other things you could pray about for us, that don’t start with the letter P, but we’ll save them for another day.
Oh, and one more thing that us guys usually aren’t very good at doing..
Thanks for praying for us.
Don’t just read this list! Save it so you can use it. Pin it or share it on Facebook!
Jared is the author of A Year of Living Prayerfully, a humorous travel memoir about prayer. He is the cofounder of Hope for the Sold, an abolitionist charity that fights human trafficking one word at a time. and he has written for Huffington Post, Esquire, Converge, and Relevant. Jared is happily married to his best friend, Michelle, whom he first kissed in the seventh grade.
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I love this. Thank you for taking the time to help me (and lots of us!) pray effectively for our husbands. 🙂
I know! I’m going to use my five fingers on one hand to run through these everyday! I think the Passion one is often the trickiest.
Thanks for a great post! It was just the nudge I needed.
Wow — this list is very different from those I’ve seen before. Or else I’m finally in the right frame of mind to see/hear these for the first time. Either way, thank you!!! I’ve made it a goal to pray for my husband every morning, but I’ve been at a loss for what specifically to pray FOR. This is a huge help.
This is such a fabulous list!
I totally agree with needing to be in the right state of mind. If you are it feels spiritually wonderful!
I love when my wife prays for me, and it encourages me to pray for her. When praying, I think it’s also important to consider how your prayer might change your own attitudes and actions, as well as those of your spouse.
(We linked to your post here.)
The list is pretty good — but I’m curious about #2, Purity. Where does it say in the Epistles that we as New Covenant, born-again believers have a “sin nature”. Scriptures anyone?
How about Romans 7?
Thanks for responding Sheila:
Romans 7 refers to the internal struggle that Paul experienced when lived under the Law as a religious Pharisee. If we are born-again believers (men included), then we have died to the Law (Romans 7:4).
Furthermore the flesh (the old way we used to think in Adam) was crucified with Christ (Galatians 5:24) and we were resurrected with Him into new life (Romans 6: 4-5). Also, in Christ we have died to the power of sin (Romans 6:1).
Since we have died to law and the power of sin and our flesh has been crucified with Christ and we have been resurrected with Him into new life, how could we have a sin nature?
To believe that Christians have a sin nature is a philosophy called dualism: it was a Gnostic heresy that the early Church fathers and apostles combatted tooth and nail. One of the core tenets of Gnosticism is that it didn’t believe that Christ was crucified on the Cross and rose from the dead. They didn’t believe in our new life in Christ.
Ed, I know theologically this is an interesting debate, but I think on a practical level, praying for someone’s purity is just so important. We all suffer major temptation, and no one is perfect. Everyone sins and will continue to sin, even once we’re Christians. We all struggle. And I think upholding our husbands in prayer so that they can withstand the pull towards sin, however you want to phrase it, is so important.
I totally agree with that Sheila. My only clarification on this point is that we pray for our spouses from the position of victory, not defeat. If we are already dead to sin, then why pray for the sin nature to be controlled if there is no sin nature? — that’s too heavy of a burden to carry because it’s simply not true. Why would we believe that we’re spiritually lying in a ditch of sin if we aren’t actually lying there? In Ephesians, it says that we are seated with Christ Jesus in the heavenly realms.
We need to pray for our spouses that they are not deceived about their true identity in Christ: saved, washed, delivered. The primary temptation that we all grapple with is the deception that we are not as truly changed and new as we really are. Christian men (and women) struggle with purity issues (symptoms) to the extent that they are experiencing spiritual amnesia regarding their identity.
This is not semantics or a novel theological debate because it gets to the core of who we really are in Christ — and that is eminently practically. If you want Christian men to be pure, then tell them the truth and about themselves: that they are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. On the other hand, tell them that they are merely saved sinners with a sin nature and watch them inexorably slide into moral filth and compromise.
I made a resolve this year to pray for my husband every day so this has been a very relevant post for me especially since it’s written by a man. Thanks Sheila and Jared.
Ever since I started praying for my husband I have found it hard to know what exactly to pray for. Mostly I just as God to open my husband’s heart to Him, and for my husband to hear His words like my friend and in-laws have helped me. I am so glad Jared wrote this, but I wish he would have included something about praying for your hubby’s spirit. My husband works hard and with long hours. Sometimes it seems like his spirit is a bit broken. I take on almost all the work related to housekeeping and the kids on top of working full time; but it never seems like enough. I wish I knew how to pray properly for him so he can find the peace he so desperately needs.
Read “The Power of a Praying Wife” by Stormie Omartian. There are numerous specific chapters, prayers, and Scripture about the ways we can pray and understand our husbands.
🙂
This is really excellent. Thank you, Jared.
I have been praying for my husband for the last couple of years diligently. He is so far into depression that he doesn’t want to be around me or th kids anymore. He speaks of separating and not because of anything I have done, but because he hates himself so much. He tells me I deserve better but that he can’t give me anything else. I am feeling so helpless and I have begged God to rescue my husband. Satan has a fingertip in my family and I am trying so hard to remain steadfast in my faith. I know God is there, but I do wish that he would respond quicker. The relationship between my husband and 16 year old son has so much tension it is difficult to be the peacemaker all the time. Is there anything else I can be doing? Please help.
Hi Danielle,
I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. That sounds awful, and so heartbreaking. I think if your husband is suffering from depression that badly, that you really need some outside help. He very well may need some medication, and you likely need to see a counselor to help you through this time. I hope you can find some people to talk to–but really encourage your husband to go and get some help. And if he just won’t, then get some friends involved and have them sit down with him and confront him, too. Again, I’m so sorry.