Please welcome our guest author, Lindsey Bell, who is posting with us as part of her December Blog Tour. Today she is sharing great tips for how to be a merry mom this Christmas–words to live by every day, really . And be sure and enter her mega- giveaway–details are at the end of this post!
Christmas is my favorite holiday, but it also has the potential to be VERY stressful. With parties to attend, goodies to bake, programs to prepare for, gifts to purchase, and cards to send, Christmas can sometimes be far from joyful.
We might say “Merry Christmas” to the checker at the grocery store, but many of us don’t always feel merry. Here are a few tips that might help!
How to Be a Merry Mom:
1. Simplify.
Most of us are on the go WAY too much. I read a book recently called Hands Free Mama by Rachel Macy Stafford, and she said something in the book that stuck with me.
What she said was this: “My child cannot kiss a moving target” (23).
Our kids can’t kiss us or hug us or cuddle with us if they can’t catch us. If we’re always on the go, when will our kids have the opportunity to just BE with us?
As much as we’d love to attend every Christmas event, there are times when it’s wiser to stay at home and be with our families.
Simplifying begins by prioritizing. Decide which events you most want to attend, and then allow the rest of fall off your calendar.
2. Begin your day well.
About six months ago, I attended The Better Together Conference put on by The MOM Initiative. At that conference, one of the speakers challenged each of us to begin our days with our faces on the ground in prayer.
I’ve been doing that since then, and my days have drastically changed.
I think the reason they have changed so much is because God is filling me up early.
Before, when my children challenged me, it was me that spilled over (me, plus a little bit of impatience, frustration, and irritability). Now, when my kids push my buttons, it’s God that spills out of me.
Because I take time each morning to have Him fill me with His presence, it’s His Spirit that seeps out of me throughout the day.
3. Work on your marriage.
When our marriages are strong, we are happier people.
As much as we’d like to believe living in an unhealthy marriage doesn’t affect our moods, that’s not reality. Happy marriages make happy people; unhappy marriages make unhappy people.
Take time this week to work on your marriage. Buy a marriage book to read together. Have a date night. Have sex with your spouse. Pray together.
4. Count your blessings.
Many of us mistakenly assume we have to feel thankful to voice thanksgiving.
We don’t.
Instead, it’s often the voicing of thanks that creates the feelings of thanksgiving.
In other words, if you take time to count your blessings, you will grow more thankful. You’ll begin noticing more blessings in your life. Your focus will gradually shift off the hard things in your life to the blessings instead.
5. Take care of yourself.
A happy mom is a mom who takes care of herself. Sure, there are seasons in our lives when we can’t get a full night’s sleep. There are seasons we can exercise every day.
But do your best to take care of you. Eat well. Exercise regularly. Rest as much as your little ones will allow.
6. Get away from time to time.
Nothing makes you adore your little ones more than being away from them occasionally, so if you’re able, go on vacation with your spouse, go on regularly dates, take time to yourself, and don’t feel bad about doing it.
7. Stop comparing your life to the lives of others.
Steven Furtick once said, “The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.”
Stop comparing your life to the lives of those around you. Sure, their life might look great on Facebook or Pinterest. But you’re not in their home everyday.
The key to happiness is to stop looking outside your surroundings to find it.
8. Laugh and smile more.
Laughter is good for the body, mind, and soul, so choose to laugh more. Instead of getting angry when everything goes wrong of a morning, choose to laugh instead.
When your holiday plans don’t turn out as you expected, choose to smile and laugh instead of blow up in anger.
9. Do something you love.
Writing has always been something I loved. When my son was first born, though, I thought I needed to put my writing aside until my kids were grown.
I’m so thankful my husband told me to write then instead of waiting until later.
When moms use their gifts, talents, and abilities, they’re happier women…And when we’re happier women, we’re happier moms.
Granted, there are certainly seasons when I can’t write as much. But that doesn’t mean I can’t do it at all.
10. Be present.
It’s tempting—especially on the hard days—to escape with my phone…to log into Facebook or Pinterest and only be half-there with my children.
What happens when I do this is that I stop enjoying my kids.
It’s only when I’m fully present that I fully enjoy my life. My guess is, I’m not the only one.
So if you want to be a merry mom this Christmas, choose to be with the ones you’re with.
What other tips would you add to this list?
This post is part of Lindsey Bell’s December blog tour. To enter to win Lindsey’s MEGA-GIVEAWAY (the winner will receive 6 books!), leave a comment on any of Lindsey’s guest posts this month (including this one).
For a full list of participating blogs (and ways to enter!) visit this post on Lindsey’s blog.
About Lindsey Bell:
Lindsey Bell is the author of Searching for Sanity: 52 Insights from the Parents of the Bible. She’s also a stay-at-home mother of two, minister’s wife, avid reader, and chocolate lover. You can find Lindsey online at any of the following locations:
Her blog: www.lindsey-bell.com
Her website: www.lindseymbell.com
Twitter: www.twitter.com/LindseyMBell
Facebook: www.facebook.com/AuthorLindseyBell
Pinterest: www.pinterest.com/LindseyMBell01
About Searching for Sanity:
Have you ever looked at your beloved children and wondered, what in the world am I doing? Why did God trust me—of all people—to raise them?
Motherhood is the most difficult job many of us will ever take. Searching for Sanity offers moms an opportunity to take a breath, dig into the Word, and learn from parents of the past. In short devotions designed for busy moms, this book uses the parents of the Bible—both the good and the bad—to inspire today’s mothers.
You can pick up a copy today at Amazon or Barnes and Noble.
Sheila Wray Gregoire has been married for 25 years and happily married for 20! She loves traveling around North America with her hubby in their RV, giving her signature "Girl Talk" about sex and marriage. And she's written 8 books. About sex and marriage. See a theme here? Plus she knits. Even in line at the grocery store.
Thanks so much for opening up your online space to me again, Sheila! It’s always an honor to be here:)
I know I’m really stressed this time of year too. Those are all great ideas and I’m going to try some of them so I can be a merry mom too!! I know my kids and hubby will appreciate it!! Thank you for such great ideas.
Good luck, Amber! I’m so glad the post gave you some good ideas to try:) Merry Christmas!
Love the reminder that ‘kids can’t kiss a moving target.’ I do this so much as I try to run a side business & watch three littles at home. Constant struggle, and I love this simple phrase that I can remind myself often! Thank you!
Jamie, I love it too! The Hands Free Mama is one of my favorite books, but this phrase in particular has stuck with me. Such a good reminder.
Excellent advise that I really needed to hear today.
So glad the post encouraged you, Jamie. Thanks for commenting.
I’m a new mom this Christmas and it seems like nothing is getting done! Thank you for reminding me that’s it more important to love on my little guy than to make sure all the cookies are baked and the presents are wrapped.
Libby, I remember that first Christmas with kiddos. I think every mom has been there! Just do the best you can and rest in the knowledge that it’s okay if not everything gets done:)
Great advice! I love your tip about simplifying. I definitely have a knack for making things more complicated than they need to be. Simplifying around the holiday season can save me a lot of headache!
Preslaysa, this is the first year I haven’t written Christmas cards. At first I felt guilty, but now that it’s been a few weeks since I made the decision, I’m so glad I did! My family doesn’t care, and it’s one less thing for me to worry about doing!
I go away with some friends for a weekend yearly and I love it. It really does help me to be more present when I have refreshed. I have been journaling 3 things daily that I am thankful for, some days are easier than others. I’m doing my best to make sure I we revise 3-5 days a week and I’m counting calories which is making me more conscious of what I’m eating throughout the day. Thank you for this post and the giveaway looks awesome – many of these books are on my wish list!
Rachel, I LOVE that you do that every year with your friends! What a great way to be refreshed:)
I love this advice! Thank you so much!
So glad it spoke to you, Reena!
I definitely struggle with trying to do too much this time of year. Thank you so much for sharing from your heart.
My pleasure, Donna. I think it’s a struggle for many of us:)
Great suggestions that I constantly need to remember! Thanks for the post today!!
So glad it encouraged you, Jennifer! Thanks for commenting:)
Good post! It’s crazy to me how a holiday that’s supposed to be all about Jesus and family has become what it is–almost a detriment to family time! Somehow I don’t think that honors Jesus at all. If we have to cut out some of the fluff to keep our priorities right, then so be it!
You are absolutely right, Ashley. We have turned the Jesus holiday into a holiday that often has very little to do with Him.
Great tips thanks for sharing!
Glad it spoke to you, Brett.
Great tips! and a much needed reminder! You mean, I’m not the only one that’s been grouchy lately? 🙂
lol, no, you have definitely not been the only one 🙂
I love celebrating holidays and so much of what I do or would like to do is tied into the symbolism of the season both for Christmas and other parts of the liturgical year and seems really important for the development of the kids’ faith background. I will never be the over the top decorator but I do admit to being discouraged this year by the fact that I am spending a lot of time parenting from the couch because of the side effects of this new pregnancy and here it is past the second Sunday in advent and nary a candle, star or nativity to be seen. The younger two almost certainly do not care but my 4 year old has been asking about it for several weeks. I’m trying to tell myself that I am meeting everyone’s basic needs and getting my son to his therapy appointments mostly on time and in ten years no one will hold that year that the new baby was coming and mommy was too sick to do much against me. At least I hope so.
Kharking, my heart is heavy for you reading your post. It sounds like you have a lot on your hands right now. You are absolutely right. No one is going to remember that one year you weren’t able to do as much. What you are doing sounds like exactly what you need to be doing. You’re taking care of the needs of your family and taking care of yourself in pregnancy. Hang in there and cut yourself some slack this year. One thing I love about our God is that He can-and will-fill in the gaps when we fall short or aren’t able to do some things we might like to do. Hugs to you.
Valuable reminders…thank you. And it would be a gift to win those books.
Maria, you are entered to win! So glad the post encouraged you.
I really need to heed this advice! Especially the part about being fully present with my child. I tend to hide in my computer a lot thinking it will make me feel better, but it never does. Going to find ways to become a merry mom!
Heather, I think it’s something many of us struggle with. One thing I love about God is that He will fill in the gaps when we fall short! Any improvement is worth celebrating!
Great tips!
Thanks, Lisa!
Over the last decade I’ve come to loathe the holidays. In the last 3 years my chest starts tightening around August. Finally, I have decided (with my husband’s full support) to give myself the gift I’ve been wanting for ages – I have excused us from all extended family functions for this Christmas. I don’t mind joining a family get-together at another time of year, but I want to *finally* claim Christmas for crafting our own traditions. I will still probably find extended-family get-togethers stressful, but at least it won’t be spoiling Christmas.
It is definitely a hard balance to find. Spending time with extended family is important, but so is spending time at home. It’s definitely something we all need to think and pray over a lot!
We have definitely gone the “simplify” route this Christmas! 2014 has been exhausting for us. My husband dealt with fibromyalgia (undiagnosed until just this past September), we took two trips to the Mayo Clinic, we bought a house and moved, things have just been crazy. And Christmas has always been nuts for us with family expectations etc. I usually have declared “I hate Christmas!!!” at least once by mid-December. This year, however, we made the decision to simplify. We don’t need the drama. We don’t need the stress. For once in our lives, our children and our marriage are coming before the gifts and decorations and family expectations. And it feels GOOD. We can’t spend every holiday dancing to what everyone else wants. We need peace in our home. And we are enjoying it.
Amen!
Yah, Melissa! It sounds like you made an excellent decision for your family!!
Thanks for the tips! A reminder to me not to be enslaved by high ideals or unrealistic expectations. Interestingly, when our family (with four boys ranging in age from 9-17) sat down to discuss what was truly important to them to take part in this season, family time together was one of the most important.
That’s so great that you took time to talk with your boys about this!!
Being in the moment is so hard for me.
Me too, Debi!
Thanks for the great reminder this holiday season!
Thanks, Karen:) Happy New Year!
I really needed to read this and plug back into my life. In my case I’m not a moving target, but a stationary target that has been doing a lot of “escaping”, especially wasting time on my phone and reading. The kids are safe, but not getting all of me. I don’t really understand why I feel the need to escape sometimes, when I wanted to be a wife and mother my whole life. I do have a big problem with procrastinating, maybe I’m escaping to put things off. I will start with a prayer asking for help to overcome my weaknesses. As I read this I realized I haven’t been praying as much in the morning, just rolling out of bed and shuffling through the day. Thank you for writing this!