Hello, everybody! Happy Saturday!

Thought I’d share some quick things with you today.

How I’m Doing

First, I can’t tell you how enough how grateful I am for all the well wishes and prayers after my recent surgery. All went well, and it’s been a little over a week now and I’m feeling pretty good. Back to normal from before the surgery, and I’m hoping that soon I’ll feel back to normal from about two years ago, before I started the extreme fatigue.

Someone commented to me that the first thing she noticed after her surgery (she had the same thing) was her nails. They stopped chipping and they grew again! I looked down at my hands yesterday and saw this:

I’ve got nails again! I actually need to file them. How exciting!


How I’m Procrastinating

So instead of recuperating I am now full up into writing mode! I have the manuscript for 9 Thoughts That Will Change Your Marriage due into Waterbrook next month, and I’ve got to get some serious work done.

Now, I don’t know if that fact is AT ALL related to this fact, but my youngest daughter just posted a new video on procrastination. The In Denial procrastinator, who is playing 2048 like a maniac, and from whom you need to “back away slowly”, is not at all me. Not. At. All. She didn’t get that from someone in her household or anything.

In all seriousness, I’ve been a bit of a bear to live with lately, so I decided to leave my hubby and youngest daughter for a time and come and live at my oldest daughter’s house so I can get some serious work done without distractions. I just needed a bit of a retreat. So I’m hanging out here and writing like mad–or at least trying to.

I figured out why I was having such problems with some of the chapters yesterday. I think I was giving too many pat answers, and after the reaction to my column yesterday about the purity culture, I realized that what people really crave is authenticity, not rules or pat answers. The latter half of the book was already going to be a bit controversial; I’ve decided to bring more of that into the first half. And now I’m excited about writing again!

So here I am this morning in all my glory: glow in the dark pyjama pants, no makeup, and the “I Love My Husband” T-shirt from The Love Shirts!


That Purity Culture Thing

Speaking of writing, if you haven’t read the series of posts this week about purity and the purity culture, I encourage you to do so.

Here’s what I was trying to show with the three posts: purity is so important, but the way that we emphasize it is often counterproductive. First, because we talk about intimacy before marriage purely in physical terms and ignore the other aspects of temptation; and second because we make it all into rules and not relationship.

I do believe in purity; but I think maybe we need to stop saying “sexual purity”, because it implies that sexual purity is somehow more pure than other forms of purity, and it implies that purity is about genitalia and not the heart. We should be emphasizing purity before God, and when we do that, we’ll be talking about the right issues.

Sex Before Marriage: Why God wants us to wait until marriage to make love.I also absolutely believe that God saved sex for marriage for very good reasons. Here are some:

Why God Wants us to Wait for Marriage for Sex

Why We Should Wait

The Beggar’s Daughter also has a great series she’s written lately about boundaries in dating called “Kissing is Not Sex”. Here’s part 1 and part 2.

Finally, an AWESOME comment about how to make purity a matter of the heart when you’re dating.

The most interesting part of yesterday’s post, too, I think, was actually the comments section (though I did like the column, too, if I do say so myself). Thanks for all the great discussion!

The Nightmare in Nigeria

One of the very legitimate criticisms of the purity movement is that it makes those who have been abused or attacked sexually seem like “tainted goods”. And with the news being filled with the ongoing desperate plight of the 276 kidnapped girls in Nigeria, my thoughts and prayers have been very much oriented that way.

If you haven’t heard the news, a group of Islamic terrorists have kidnapped 276 Christian teenage girls and threatened to sell them into sex slavery or make them child brides. The girls are 14 to 18. I simply cannot comprehend this. How can anyone think that God would sanction this? As a mom to two teenage girls, I’ve been quite overcome this week.

And so I’d ask you to say this prayer with me, and help take these girls’ plights to God:

Dear God, you know each of those 276 girls intimately, and by name. You know where they are, and you know their state. They are not hidden from you. And so, Jesus, we bring each of them to you. Protect them physically. Protect them from the elements–from hunger, infection, and snakebites. Protect them from their captors. And please, bring them home.

Help them to stay strong in you, and to have a peace that passes understanding. Let them be strong for each other and be a support for each other. Lord, may they be so righteous that their captors will be brought to shame, and that they will “heap burning coals” onto the captors’ heads and cause some of these men to have pity and to help them find safety.

Be with their parents and families, and give them peace and strength and comfort. May they feel the world’s prayers.

Be with the Nigerian soldiers who are trying to locate them. Give the military wisdom and even visions from you. Let the foreign help that is coming in not be confusing, but let it be integrated seamlessly and quickly so that the girls can be rescued.

Most of all, Lord, let these girls always know that they are precious in your sight, that they are pure because of Jesus, and that no one and nothing can separate them from your love.

And be with all who are trafficked in the sex trade around the world right now, even those who are not front page news. Go to battle for them, and show us how we can be part of the solution.

In Jesus’ precious name,


It’s Mother’s Day!

Avoiding Mother's Day DisappointmentSomehow in all of the turmoil of writing this book and surgery I totally forgot it was Mother’s Day! And so I didn’t post on it.

I’ve posted on it in the past, though, and so I’ll link to some of those posts right now.

How to Avoid Disappointment this Mother’s Day

Mothering on a Weak Stomach

A Microwave and a Mother’s Heart

For those of you who are mothers, have a great day tomorrow!

And for everyone, have a wonderful weekend. Keep the girls in Nigeria in your prayers. And if you could say a prayer for me, that the words will come easily as I write, that would be much appreciated.