Happy Saturday, everyone, and to my American friends–happy long weekend!
It’s my birthday weekend. I turn 44 tomorrow. Wow.
Anyway, I thought I’d leave you with a 16 minute video that is SO IMPORTANT to watch. Seriously, just put it on while you’re doing dishes or something today. But please watch it.
It explains the science behind what happens when men watch porn, and traces how porn causes low libido, erectile dysfunction, addiction, depression, and passivity.
And it offers hope for how our brains can change.
It also explains the impact, especially on young teenagers.
So many of you have husbands who watch porn. I think if those men could watch this video, they may finally understand why it’s a problem. And all parents need to see this:
I know it’s heavy, but I hope that gives you something to think about as you’re gardening and spending some family time this weekend!
Sheila Wray Gregoire has been married for 25 years and happily married for 20! She loves traveling around North America with her hubby in their RV, giving her signature "Girl Talk" about sex and marriage. And she's written 8 books. About sex and marriage. See a theme here? Plus she knits. Even in line at the grocery store.
Thanks Sheila for sharing this video. Porn use is truly at epidemic levels in society. Porn, sorry to say, seems to have become ingrained in the culture over the past few decades.
My 2 cents here: Parents need to play an active and ongoing(!) role in talking with their teenage children, both sons and daughters, about sex. We need to warn our children of the dangers and harmful effects of porn, and at the same time give them a positive message that sex saved for marriage is truly a beautiful thing (and is about more than just physical appetites and physical release).
One important variable that is not always considered when husbands use porn is how frequently is the couple making love. Some men turn to porn (and even to affairs, or to prostitutes) if they are not getting sex regularly. We have all heard the terms “gatekeeper” and “refuser”. If the wife is withholding sex (I would rather use the term lovemaking here, but it seems in some marriages that love is in short supply), her husband is being sexually frustrated and that is not helpful to the marriage. Withholding sex is a lose-lose proposition.
Happy Birthday Sheila and best wishes for the year ahead. Keep up the great work!
Sheila, thank you SO much for posting this. Porn really ruins lives—mostly the lives of the people who are addicted to it. I’ll be sharing this on Facebook.
I was horrified at the statistic that most porn introduction starts before age 10! Guess I’ll need to talk to my kiddos about it starting earlier than I’d like…
I know! Doesn’t it make you sick?
It’s encouraging to see guys giving it up and that the effects are reversible. The similarities with other addictions are also fascinating.
I am so glad people are finally beginning to talk about porn. The tip of the ice burg has barely been seen concerning the prevalence and destructive power of porn. It would be interesting to begin to talk more about how lust is perhaps the root of the issue. How O K is it to lust? Hum. Thanks Sheila, for your courage to address these things.
Thank you for this post.
Here is another interesting article I read on the destructive effect of porn:
http://www.artofmanliness.com/2009/05/11/the-problem-with-porn/comment-page-4/#comment-896187