It’s Wednesday, the day when we talk marriage! I write a post, and then you all chime in by linking up your own marriage posts to the Linky below! Today Jennifer of Unveiled Wife shares honestly about helping her husband through stress.
Stress: a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances.
When Sheila invited me to write this article I accepted with enthusiasm. I thought sharing a few tips on how to help your husband through stress would be a simple and fun way to encourage wives in this area of marriage. But if you allow me to be honest with you, when I sat down to write, I was confronted with a question:
Do I help my husband through stress?
In an effort to self-preserve and avoid looking like a horrible wife, I pushed the question aside and decided to start this article with the definition of stress and continue on to encourage you. However, one glance at that definition and my heart dropped. If there had been a picture next to the google definition it would have been my portrait. I was confronted again. The first thing that popped into my mind of the most stressful thing in my husband’s life is me and my never-ending demands.
I humbly admit to you today that I am not very good at helping my husband through stress.
In fact, I know I add more stress to him because when he is stressed I take it personally. I feel as if he is ignoring me, as if he is not interested in me, as if he does not love me. In my hurt I retaliate. This doesn’t happen every time, but often enough that The Lord has convicted my heart of the issue in our marriage. My eyes are self-focused in those moments.
The heart wrenching part is that I know what my husband needs in times of stress:
- He needs a wife who will affirm him with words of affirmation.
- He needs a wife who be selfless and serve his needs.
- He needs a wife who will be confident of his love for her despite his weary heart and the other demanding circumstances that steal his attention.
- He needs a wife who will rub the tension out of his shoulders.
- He needs a wife who understands the burden of stress and does what she can to not add to the stress.
- He needs a wife who will be gracious to him when he acts out as a result of his stress.
- He needs a wife who will cheer him on and cheer him up!
I cannot be that kind of wife if my eyes are focused on myself.
I need to live with the compassion of Christ dwelling in my heart. The kind of compassion that comforts with overwhelming peace. I need to reach out and calm the storms. I need to love like Jesus!
I could have written a “How-to” article that would have encouraged you and given you some tips to better your marriage…but I hope my transparency does more than that. I hope my honesty shows you that you are not alone as you grow into your role as wife and you are not alone in the struggles you face in marriage. I don’t think we’ll ever hit a plateau of growth, for there will always be areas of our character that we can strive to improve. Writing this article has opened my eyes to this area of my marriage that I need to be more intentional about. I need to be better at helping my husband through stress. By doing so, my husband will feel loved and our marriage will be blessed.
Will you do me a favor and ask yourself the same question I was confronted with:
Do I help my husband through stress?
When you answer, whatever the answer, will you commit with me to be a wife who is willing to go above and beyond to help her husband through stress?
If you will commit with me to being better in this area of marriage will you comment below and say “I Commit!”
I hope you have a beautiful day!
– Jennifer Smith Unveiledwife.com
Now, what advice do you have for us today? Leave the URL of a blog post about marriage in the Linky below. And be sure to link back here so that other people can read this great marriage advice!
Sex is supposed to be stupendous--physically, emotionally, AND spiritually. If it's not, get The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex--and find out what you've been missing.