Every Wednesday we talk about marriage! Today, please welcome guest author, Jennifer Lanctot, who shares her thoughts on cherishing her quirky husband. And then feel free to link up your own marriage posts in the linky below.
At 15 years old I knew exactly what I wanted in a husband. Someone who would never tire of spending all of his waking moments with me. He would be interested in all of my hobbies and interests. We would always have things to talk about. Never disagree. He would never say anything hurtful, or rash. He would always look at me across the room, like I was an angel. And he would find a different way to tell me each day how gorgeous I was. We would sleep under the stars together and take long, midnight walks often. He would never smell bad. Oh, he would have endless energy after work days to go out and do something fun. We would share all the same interests! And he would never fart, or poop, for that matter. I knew my husband would probably do that, since all humans do, but wouldn’t that just be neat if he didn’t?!
I built up a fantasy. And looking at this list, not all the things are bad. But what was my heart intent? ME. I wanted to feel loved and fulfilled by this one man. Always.
Well, guess what? I married a wonderful, Godly man that cherishes and loves me deeply. But, as you could probably guess, he farts. And poops. Sometimes with the bathroom door open! Before I was married, I never envisioned waking up to morning breath, and a nice loud fart. But yes, every single morning when my husband is waking up, he farts. Okay, so you are probably wondering why I would care to share this with you. The answer is QUIRKS. Is your husband quirky? If so, (and I know for all of you the answer is probably and emphatic ‘Yes!’), do you cherish his quirkiness for who he is? Or do you sit back, all embarrassed, annoyed and frustrated because he is different you thought he would be?
Elijah and I couldn’t be more opposite. Truth is, there are only a few things we both enjoy.
I hate electronics (and I’m pretty sure they hate me!). He loves geeky things. I love gardening, he doesn’t. I like happy and uplifting music and movies. He prefers heavy, contemplative, and thought provoking. I detest quiet days without people, he loves them. I prefer my food messy, he likes his organized. I don’t like socks, he loves them. I talk on the phone, he doesn’t if he can help it. I am very emotional, he is extremely logical. I cry when I get stressed out, he laughs. I can eat almost anything, he is a texture freak. I’m addicted to sunshine, he prefers little to none at all!I like visual humor, he likes verbal. I care a TON about what people think of me, he doesn’t let it bother him at all. I will go, go, go, until I drop dead. He enjoys taking time to relax and enjoy his time off. I had always thought computer games were evil, he plays them. I like going to bed, he’s a night owl. I love cameras, he avoids them. I could go on and on. When you looking at the surface, we really don’t have much in common. But we are committed to the same vision, and we are learning that opposites can work well together!
I don’t know what your husband does. Maybe he snorts when he laughs, or has a sense of humor you think is disgusting. Maybe he leaves his socks on the living room floor, or doesn’t put his dirty dish in the sink. Maybe he never finshes projects, or leaves his bath towel on the floor. But do these things really matter? These ‘quirks’ are not detrimental to his salvation, so give him a break.
It has been hard for me to enjoy and laugh at my husbands quirks. I had this perfect picture in my mind, and he just isn’t that! But, the Lord has been showing me that He loves me for who I am…even though I am the furthest thing from perfect. And I am commanded to love my husband in the same way. I am not supposed to look for him to fulfill my every need. That is what I am told to trust to the Lord, not to a man.
Women, I just want to give you a shove of encouragement: if your husband is quirky, EMBRACE it! Laugh at it, and learn to enjoy it, one day at a time. Even though it might drive you nuts, why should you let it? I guarantee that it will release so much tension and make your home life more peaceful just to let go. Accept the fact that he is a human, just like you. We are quirky and expect them to love us no matter what.
One morning I woke up, and when my husband farted, I laughed. Because I know that if I woke up tomorrow morning and he wasn’t there, I would miss that. Even though the quirks bug me sometimes, I know I would miss them if he were gone. This is a man that loves me, works hard, provides for me, cherishes my heart, and wants to lead me closer to my Saviour. Why let the little quirks keep me from loving him the way I should?!
So, what quirks does your spouse have that you are learning to embrace? Share YOUR stories! I cannot wait to read them!
My name is Jennifer Lanctot and I am 22 years old. I am a wife, mother, nanny, doula, and photographer, living in New Hampshire. I have been married for over two and a half years, have a 1 1/2 year old son, and am expecting baby #2 this Winter.
Ideally, I would like to someday be a stay-at-home Mom with several little minions running around. But we will see where the Lord takes that. 🙂 My goal with my life is to encourage, inspire, and challenge others, as well as myself, to grow closer to their Maker. I hope that any writing or photography I do will motivate others to draw closer to our Lord and the ones we love. Every day we have is a gift, and we need to rejoice and be glad in it!