Christian Marriage Advice

It’s Wednesday, the day when we talk marriage! Well, to be honest, I talk marriage most days, but Wednesdays I ALWAYS do, and I offer a linky at the bottom where you can link up your marriage posts, too.

Men and women are different. We think differently; we relate differently; we want different things.

And with Father’s Day coming up, I thought it would be a good time to re-evaluate how perhaps, just perhaps, their perspective has a point.

I just love this video! I cracked up so hard watching it water came out my nose. Check it out:

Have sympathy for that guy? I do!

And I often have sympathy for guys around Father’s Day, too. Father’s Day is a tough time to be a guy, because at church the sermons tend to be, “Why aren’t you men stepping up the plate?” On Mother’s Day women tend to get roses. On Father’s Day men tend to get yelled at.

There’s also a lot of pressure on men to get the right thing for women on Mother’s Day. But there’s not quite the same pressure on women to get their men something. We’re not the ones who have to be romantic, after all; he’s the one who needs to worry about getting the right present.

Maybe it’s time to turn that on its head!

I’m grateful to have a husband who is not like me. I’m glad he’s a man. I’m glad he’s a great dad, even–or perhaps especially–if he doesn’t parent the same way I do. I’m grateful that he supports me, and encourages me, and loves me. And I think I owe HIM just as much romance as he owes ME.

So, ladies, let’s put some serious effort into Father’s Day this year! Don’t just get him a tie or a Starbucks gift card; get him something he’ll love. Get him tickets for a football game and go with him. Get him some fishing gear. Encourage a hobby. Encourage him in being a man.

But what most men want from their wives, more than any gift, is to know that they are deeply WANTED. Men don’t just want to be loved, and appreciated, and admired. They want to be wanted.

(I know some men suffer from low libido; in about 30% of marriages that’s a big problem, and I’ve written about that here. But in most marriages still the husband wants sex far more than the wife does. So if you have the opposite problem, reading that series may help!)

If you’re reading this blog, it’s likely because you want to make your marriage better. You want to experience that deep love, and deep intimacy, and great fun that a marriage can bring. And you can’t have a great marriage unless you also have a great sex life. I haven’t seen a great marriage where the sex is not also at least good (unless health concerns are a major factor). Sex is how most men feel like men.

Unfortunately, we don’t always connect with sex. Sometimes instead of being a blessing in our relationships it becomes a source of tension. Or it simply gets boring, and kind of rare.

31 DaysThat’s why I wrote 31 Days to Great Sex–to help you connect! I know many of you have already purchased it, but the vast majority of you haven’t. And so I want to talk about it a little bit more today.

Here’s what you get:

  • The first few days are devoted to seeing sex in a positive way, and talking through your baggage and insecurities.
  • Then we spend a few days on building emotional intimacy (your friendship),
  • a few days on building physical intimacy (the fireworks, making sex feel wonderful!),
  • a few days on spiritual intimacy (the oneness), and
  • a few days putting habits in place so that you can keep the momentum going once you’re done.

This series takes you step by step in the process of building a fun and intimate sex life. It doesn’t only focus on the mechanics of sex–though there certainly are posts that will help you in that department. It also focuses on building friendship, experiencing real intimacy, and learning to have fun again.

Any two bodies can work together sexually. When we have problems in the bedroom, it’s often not because of our bodies. It’s usually because we aren’t communicating well, or we feel distant from each other, or we’re just nervous. The big benefit of this 31 days is that you’ll actually TALK and communicate about this important part of your life. Talking about it is difficult to do, but the prompts and the posts make it much easier. That’s often when breakthroughs happen!

Buy it in .pdf form (that you can read on a computer, ereader, or print out)
Buy it on Kindle
Buy on Nook


How does it work?

Each day has a topic, like “Embracing the Skin She’s In”, “Hitting the Reset Button on your Sex Life”, or “How Do You Decide Your Sexual Boundaries?” There’s a short write-up you read together–about 1-3 pages–and then there’s a challenge for you to do, often containing some conversation prompts. And yes–there’s plenty in there about how to make sex feel great, too.

I get a lot of women writing to me saying,

My husband HATES to read books. Will he read this?

The thing is, it’s not like a regular book. You don’t have to sit down and read 30 pages and then discuss it. Each night you’re really only reading 1-3 pages. That’s it. Then there’s another page for the challenges. The reading is not time consuming, and it isn’t intimidating.

Buy it in .pdf form (that you can read on a computer, ereader, or print out)
Buy it on Kindle
Buy on Nook

Make His Father’s Day Great!

I’ve just uploaded some Father’s Day Coupons that you can print out and give to him to announce that you’ve bought the book. Just put a coupon in an envelope scented with perfume and sealed with a lipstick kiss, and he’ll be tickled pink himself.

When you buy the book, there’s a link inside to the coupons which you can download for free off of my website.

How Does an E-Book Work?

An ebook can be read on any device–a computer, an iPod, a phone, a tablet, an iPad–even an ereader! If you don’t have a particular e-reader (like a Kindle or a Nook or a Kobo), just buy the .pdf version from me. You’ll receive a link so you can download the book onto your computer or device, or you can even print it out if you’d like (it’s around 100 pages).

If you do have a specific ereader, you may prefer to buy it formatted for that reader. In that case,

Buy it on Kindle
Buy on Nook
Buy it on Kobo

Want to learn more about how to read an ebook? This post can help!

Ask men what they want for Father’s Day, and a great sex life would be top of the list! Connect with him like never before. It will be a gift not just for him, but for both of you. And if you’ve already purchased the book, maybe you can plan a wonderful evening for the two of you again. And give him a note in the morning to tell him what you’ve got planned.

Now for all of us: let’s decide to make Father’s Day great! Put in some real effort, and let’s speak his language and show him how much he means to us.

What advice do you have for us today? Link up a marriage post of your own in the linky below! Just put the URL of the post (not your blog) there. And be sure to share this link on your blog, so that people can come here and read all these great posts.

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