Today’s guest author is Teri Lynne Underwood, and she is sharing about marriage from the vantage-point of a pastor’s wife.

So, Sheila and I go way back. I think it was about three years ago we connected which means in blogging years, which are similar to dog years in my mind, we’ve been friends for like 21 years. I love her willingness to tackle the hard topics and write the real stuff we women need to read.

A few weeks ago, Sheila asked me if I’d write a guest post for her and of course I said yes. She suggested I share about what I’ve seen and learned about marriage from my viewpoint as a pastor’s wife. Let me be really honest: I said, “Of course! No problem!” but I was thinking, “Oh my word! What if people from my church read this and think I’m talking about them! Or, even worse, about my own marriage!” Egads!!

Finally, I decided my life isn’t much different than anyone else’s life and my church probably isn’t much different than most other churches. And since I am pretty open in encouraging women about their role as a wife, I figured I probably wouldn’t be writing anything I haven’t said to someone at one of the churches we have served.

solid marriage - Three Keys to Building a Solid Marriage

Today I like to share three keys to building a solid marriage based on verses from Proverbs.

Support your husband.

An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:10-12

Does your husband know you are on his team? Are you actively encouraging him to be the man God created him to be? When God created Eve, he identified her as a helper for Adam. We need to be supportive of our husbands, helping them. My desire is have the epitaph of my role as a wife be that I brought Scott good, not harm, all the days of his life.

Speak graciously to your husband.

It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife. Proverbs 25:24

Far too often I hear women speak to and about their husbands as if he were one of their children. In no way does this honor him, our marriage, or the Lord. In fact, this can be one of the most damaging things we do to our testimony. Yes, there will be times when you disagree and even when he is wrong. But I’ve learned it never benefits my marriage to demean my husband, in conversations with him or with others. {For more on this idea, please read 10 Ways to Speak Well of Your Husband.}

Savor your marriage.

Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love. Proverbs 5:18-19

Okay, you had to know it was coming! This is Sheila’s blog, after all: physical intimacy matters! These verses are written to men, but what if we applied them to our role as wives. I think they’d read a little like this:

You are a blessing to your husband, you, the wife of his youth. Let him delight in you, in your body. Let him enjoy you and be enamored with you and find you attractive.

I know, it’s not easy. We don’t feel attractive. But what if we determined to see ourselves through our husbands’ eyes … to accept the compliments … to be open to his touch and his desire? Go ahead, savor your marriage … in every way!

What key to a great marriage would you add?


db5709f4b3648525f38b30a3e236f8de - Three Keys to Building a Solid Marriage Teri Lynne Underwood is a Word lover. Idea slinger. Encourager of rest, focus, and embracing life’s seasons. Priorities include good coffee, excellent books, and lingering conversations. Delights in offering women permission to live well.



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all Scripture quotes are from the English Standard Version {ESV}