This is a big week here at To Love, Honor and Vacuum, because the book form of my blog series the 29 Days to Great Sex is coming out tomorrow–although this time it’s the 31 Days to Great Sex! I’ve completely rewritten it, addressing it to couples and not just women, taking out four of the days that worked on a blog, but not in a book, and condensing some other ones. The rewrite took longer than I thought it would because I had to change way more than I thought I would. But I am so pleased with the results! And you can get your hands on it tomorrow.
(Update: It’s available now!)
On Monday I put up two themes for potential book covers that I had to choose between. It turns out that I’m going to go with something different, after getting the feedback. Though it received the most votes, I didn’t like #1 (the one with the heart) because it didn’t say “sex” to me–and the couple wasn’t even touching.
The other one was my favourite (and pretty much every guy voted for that one, incidentally), but I decided that I didn’t want other people’s faces on the cover. My designer is looking at ways to make that one better, and I hope you like it!
But in the discussion about the covers reader Denise wrote this on Facebook:
1 and 2 is what you would see in a Christian bookstore, 3 and 4 is what you would normally see. I am leaning on 4 because God created sex and we as Christians should be having fun with our spouses.
Her comment was echoed by others. But some women did say that they wouldn’t purchase a book with #3 or #4 (the one with the flirty couple) because it was too raunchy. Now, I totally understand not wanting to purchase it if you share a Kindle account with your kids. I do get that. But I’m just a little uneasy that we’re still so hesitant about sex.
Ladies, let’s be honest here for a moment: sex is supposed to be fun! And what I have to say really needs to be said face to face, so here’s a video of me saying it:
This isn’t about which cover you liked; I think #1 was a lot brighter, and that’s the one I initially liked, too. Just after thinking about it for a bit I thought it gave the wrong impression. It could have been a book about conflict resolution, or romance. It didn’t say “sex”.
No, the problem that I’m having today is that we as Christian women are often so focused on being “proper” that we forget that Jesus wasn’t all that proper. He ate with sinners and prostitutes. He enjoyed life.
Are we so focused on modesty that we forget to have fun and enjoy our husbands? I hope not. And if we do fall into that category, then I really pray that my 31 Days to Great Sex can give us all a fun new attitude about our marriage.
Do you realize that the more that we clamp down and don’t talk about sex at all, the more we give the world the chance to decide what great sex is?
What if we became evangelists for amazing sex as God intended? What if we started talking more about the fact that we aren’t ashamed of sex, and we do enjoy it–we just believe that it needs to be in its proper context.
Yes, sex is just supposed to be something between us. It isn’t supposed to be splashed on a movie screen or up on billboards. But let’s not forget that when it is between two married people, it is a very, very good thing, and nothing to be ashamed about. There’s a fine line there, and it’s hard to stay on the right side of it. But I hope that we don’t run so far from that line, in our fear of being improper, that we sacrifice an abundant marriage.
Okay, that’s my soap box for today. Let me know: do you think that the quest to be “proper” can go overboard? Do we give the wrong message? Or do we weaken our witness if we become too worldly? What do you think?
And woo hoo! Tomorrow you’ll be able to buy the 31 Days to Great Sex! (Update: Now available!)
And if you have a marriage post you’d like to share with us, just link up the URL in the linky below.
Sex is supposed to be stupendous--physically, emotionally, AND spiritually. If it's not, get The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex--and find out what you've been missing.