'Questions?' photo (c) 2008, Valerie Everett - license: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/Every weekend I like to post a question someone sends in and let you readers have a go at it. This week, a reader asks a straight-forward question about our role as wives.

I do believe we are to love our spouses, have fun with them and do things with and for them….otherwise it wouldn’t be a relationship. I do agree that deprivation can place temptation in their way, and I don’t mean sexual either. I’ve been deprived sexually and turned to porn and masturbation. I’ve been deprived emotionally and started noticing that I was because enthralled with other men who paid me attention. I get all that.

I’m sure most women want their husband to be captivated by them. They want their husband too have eyes only for them, to go to them, search them out, woo them, pursue them, love them, die for them.

Life’s been hard for us these past few years what with hubby being away for his job training a lot, new babies, illnesses, financial problems, etc. We’re finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and starting to reconnect and I am starting to make a concerted effort to be more captivating for my husband.

The problem is, in my mind, there’s a fine line between being captivating and just competing for his attention.

If my husband notices young women, for instance, and I see him looking, am I supposed to just try to be prettier than them? If I know he’s tempted by porn, how am I supposed to compete with that?

When I exercise, watch what I eat, fix my hair up, dress up, etc etc etc….am I trying to captivate my husband or am I competing with the girls in Maxim? When I cook him his favorite dinner and serve him hand and foot….when sex him up in the bedroom….is it captivation or competition?

Are we wives supposed to be in competition or are we supposed to be in a league of our own? Why does everything feel like competition? Why do so many women feel like they have to constantly get their husband’s attention back from wherever it wandered instead of him looking for and being captivated by her?

What do you think–competition, captivation or something else?

Covenant Eyes 720 Not Enough - Reader Question of the Week: Are We Captivating our Husbands or Competing for Them?
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