We had a wonderful church service this morning, with a missionary couple sharing about what God is doing in Latin America. It was beautiful.
But one thing that struck me was this. The speaker’s main point is that Jesus has already been given authority; we just need to pray together with Him and things will change. One of the reasons we don’t pray, though, is because we aren’t reconciled to one another.
You know the verse that says,
Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. (Matthew 18:19)
The key point of that is that we must AGREE. And I think of the areas of my life in which I’m having difficulty right now, and it tends to be because there is some ill will and just disagreement among people, even people of faith. We can’t pray together if we can’t first agree.
That’s the same in marriage. I receive so many emails asking for advice, and mostly it boils down to the fact that the two spouses have very different views on marriage and on who is right and who is wrong. They have grown apart. They resent each other. There’s sin involved.
And how can you move forward, how can God work, if you can’t pray? And you can’t pray if you can’t agree.
That doesn’t mean we can’t pray on our own. I’m just saying that the fundamental problem I see in so many areas is that we have not yet received or participated in the true ministry of reconciliation. We don’t know how to handle conflict. We don’t do a good job of finding unity. We paper over problems rather than deal with them, but then we become bitter because things don’t change. We take offense too easily.
I am staring into a few weeks of conflict in front of me in one area of my life (don’t worry; it’s not my family). Until this morning I was trying to figure out how I could make sure that the outcome was the right one. I am now thinking I need to change my attitude, and instead focus on reconciliation. I don’t know how to get there, but I’m praying.
Those are my Sunday afternoon thoughts. What are yours? Do you have problems with reconciliation in your life?
Sheila Wray Gregoire has been married for 25 years and happily married for 20! She loves traveling around North America with her hubby in their RV, giving her signature "Girl Talk" about sex and marriage. And she's written 8 books. About sex and marriage. See a theme here? Plus she knits. Even in line at the grocery store.
Wow, Sheila. My hubby had a LONG conversation about our prayer life together just today over lunch. I needed to read this. Thank you so, so much.
There are always going to be different opinions – it’s inevitable – but it is important to have prayer partners amongst whom there is agreement. It’s especially important in a marriage. Something my husband and I have found is that the more quality time we spend together, the more we agree and see eye-to-eye on everything. Or maybe we’re just rediscovering that we’re still soulmates.
I find that whenever I’m in “conflict” with someone, my life in that area is horrible. There is a person at church I disagree with and when things got slightly snippy at a gathering where we were both at, all of a sudden, any time this person was involved with something I was not enjoying it. All because of negative attitudes. I made an effort to make peace. I still don’t particularly agree with this person or the way they are living but I do enjoy being in the same room now at gatherings without feeling hostile!
Blessings,
Nicole at Working Kansas Homemaker
My major conflict right now eats away at me daily! My only sbling, my Sister, cut God and me out of her life 3 1/2 months ago. I am happily Married, and I have an 8 year old son, whom I love, as well as a shih-tzu dog that helps me balance my Multple Sclerosis (MS). I know I should be happy with my life, as stress can literally kill a person with MS, but I still spend WAY too much energy and time obsessing over why my Sister would do this! I pray about it, and I feel God teeling me to be patient, but as a Licensed Counselor, I believe I “KNOW” I can make things right with my Sister, despite God literally telling me to quit it! She has said I did nothing wrong, so no need to apologize again to her, and told me to give her space, but I miss my Nieces andNephew, whom re my Godchildren! Any way, at the end of the day, I know I cannot change anyone, nor can I force anyone to like me or my God, so I pray and pray, and pray….
I like that perspective Sheila…reconciliation instead of conflict. My 2 youngest boys tend to bicker, as sibling boys will do, and inevitably I hear myself saying to the one that is arguing the fact that he was right and the fight was not his fault “it takes 2 to fight and one to stop”. Of course, that means one of them has to stop fighting to be ‘right’ and be willing to agree to disagree.
I find that the words I speak over my children always come back to me when I take my issues before God. Fighting to be right vs yielding to reconciliation ~ darn that pride! 🙂 Thanks again for a good word today Sheila!
Tami, it is hard, isn’t it? I do find that pride gets in the way a lot, and it’s how to get to the “He must increase, I must decrease” philosophy that I’m struggling with.
Conflict is a difficult one for me. By nature, I can’t stand conflict. I tend to get very worked up about an upcoming situation where I know that conflict is probable – even though history has shown me that the result often bypasses the conflict altogether. I tend to be a thinker. I think things through very carefully before I engage my mouth – and conversely, when put into a heated situation where I have to think on my feet, the result isn’t pretty. I completely agree, Sheila – sometimes it’s not about BEING right; it’s about MAKING things right, even if that means popping the oversized balloon that is my ego, in order to get out of the way and let God work.
That’s exactly the way that I’m feeling now. I feel sometimes like I try to logically think of how the situation should go, instead of putting it into God’s hands to get Him to work a wonder in everyone’s lives.
Wow, this is interesting. I had never taken note of that verse before (or at least not in this context). I just read most of this post to my husband. Thanks for getting us thinking/talking.
Thank you for sharing!! I am really going to have to work on this.