Every Thursday, I’m going to try to answer a reader question in video format, and do a “vLog”. On the weekends, though, I’d like to throw up a question someone sends in and let you readers have a go at it. Last week we had a great discussion (over 100 comments!) trying to help a frustrated husband whose wife refused sex.
Today I want to turn the tables a little bit and help this woman. She writes:
I just don’t feel attracted to my husband anymore. Would it help if he lost weight? Or if he helped around the house? All he does is sit on the couch. He never wants to do anything. I do all the work around here. I find myself getting more resentful, and I don’t know what to do.
That’s a tough one! Let me give some links to posts that might help, and then I’ll leave it to you, my readers, to answer in the comments.
First, if his body just doesn’t do it for you anymore: How to appreciate your husband’s body
But I’m not sure that’s the main problem here. It sounds like it’s more of a relationship issue. She’s frustrated with him, and so she has a hard time wanting sex.
What they really need to do is to change the dynamic in the relationship so that they both are contributing and they feel like a team. So here are some thoughts on that:
Building Your Friendship in Marriage (I truly believe this is the root of most marriage problems; we lose the friendship)
I hope that gives you some places to start.
Now, let me throw it out to you readers: What would you say to her? And please be kind; I’ve only published part of the email, and I believe she’s really hurting and really frustrated. What would you advise her?