It’s Day 4 of the 29 Days to Great Sex series, and today we’re going to talk about kissing and marriage!
Over this first week we’ve talked about some of the barriers that we can have from enjoying sex–whether it’s wrong ideas about sex, or feeling that we’re just not attractive. I know yesterday was a challenge for many of you–trying to find 5 things to feel positive about with your body.
Today I want to get really practical–and so I hope for many of you today’s challenge will be fun and easy. Let’s smooch!
Do you remember practising kissing when you were 11 and 12? You spent your nights imagining when a boy would actually kiss you passionately (and that’s really as far as the dream went, because that’s pretty much all you wanted back then). You fantasized about kissing. You dreamed of kissing!
Then you met your now-husband, and chances are those dreams became a reality when you were dating. You kissed every chance you could get.
And then, for so many couples, you got married and kissing almost came to a halt.
I think it’s because of a misunderstanding of what kissing is for. Often men think kissing is foreplay–as in, it’s necessarily going somewhere. Because many women are reluctant to put a downpayment on something they may not want to purchase later, so to speak, they stop kissing, so that he doesn’t get the wrong idea.
Kissing then becomes something that you avoid unless you’re about to have sex.
But that’s too bad, because kissing actually makes us women feel closer to our men! It’s fun. It’s intimate. And it grosses out the kids (in a good way!).
Just because you’re not sure you’re going to want to make love in the evening is no reason to avoid kissing earlier in the day (now if you always turn your husband down, that’s a problem, but we’re going to get to that later in this series). If you avoid kissing, then you deprive yourself of one of your primary ways to get your libido up–and almost guarantee you WON’T want to make love later.
Most couples only kiss today as foreplay–not throughout the day. Or if they do kiss, it’s just a quick peck. So I want you to start kissing–really kissing–everyday!
Quick kissing tips:
- Saliva: some like it. Some don’t. Find out what preference your husband has (and let him know yours).
- Breath mints are your friend. Have some in your purse and use them throughout the day (and share them with your hubby!)
- Tongue: Same thing. Some really like it. Some don’t. Keep it light! If your husband is too tongue-happy, tell him, “Let me kiss you for thirty seconds and show you how I like it”. And then do so enthusiastically!
- Use your hands. Let them caress his back, or his arms, or his head, or wherever you like!
Great Sex Challenge: Pucker Up for 15 Seconds!
Set the kitchen timer and kiss for at least 15 seconds straight. It’s amazing how long 15 seconds actually seems. And then start repeating this, everyday, during the day (as in not just at night while you’re lying in bed). You’ll find yourself feeling more warmly towards your husband, and likely more warmly towards sex!
Some inspiration to get you going (watch it with him, and then do it!)
This 29 Days to Great Sex series has been turned into an ebook!
Introducing the 31 Days to Great Sex (only $4.99!)
It’s expanded, it’s written for couples (not just women), and it’s easy to use! 31 Days will help boost your emotional intimacy, spiritual intimacy, and physical intimacy. You’ll talk, flirt, and explore!
Ignite your marriage!
29 Days to Great Sex: The Series
Day 5: Reawaken Desire
Day 6: Why Your Hubby Wants You!
Day 7: Understanding Differences in Sex Drives (BONUS content in 31 Days to Great Sex)
Day 8: 14 Ways to Play as a Couple
Day 9: Prepare for Sex throughout the Day
Day 10:16 Ways to Flirt with Your Husband
Day 11: Show Affection (BONUS content in 31 Days to Great Sex)
Day 12: Hitting the Reset Button on Your Sex Life (BONUS content in 31 Days to Great Sex)
Day 13: Getting Your Head in the Game (BONUS content in 31 Days to Great Sex)
Day 14: What if You’re Not “In the Mood”?
Day 15: What is Foreplay?
Day 16: How to Orgasm
Day 17: The Pleasure Center
Day 18: Foreplay Can Be for Him, Too!
Day 19: Little Changes that Increase Pleasure for HER and for HIM (BONUS content in 31 Days to Great Sex)
Day 20: Deciding on Sexual Boundaries (BONUS content in 31 Days to Great Sex)
Day 21: 5 Ways to Spice Things Up
Day 22: How Often is Enough?
Day 23: Quickies Are Great!
Day 24: Initiate, Baby!
Day 25: Sex Once Kids Come (BONUS content in 31 Days to Great Sex)
Day 26: New Positions to Try–to Ramp Up the Fun! (BONUS content in 31 Days to Great Sex)
Day 27: Experiencing Spiritual Intimacy when you Make Love
Day 28: Being Mentally Present When You Make Love (BONUS content in 31 Days to Great Sex)
Day 29: Celebrate! And Keep Up the Momentum (BONUS content in 31 Days to Great Sex)
31 Days to Great Sex also has days that include keeping the bedroom inviting, challenging both of you (but especially HIM) to be more affectionate, when (and if) you should consider scheduling sex, and more!