'Happy New Year Danbo' photo (c) 2011, Leland Francisco - license: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

It’s the launch of a new year, and so I thought for this first Wifey Wednesday of the year we could take a big picture look at marriage, and at what’s coming on this blog this year. Over the last few days I’ve posted some of the top marriage quotes and top marriage posts of last year, and those are great resources for specific content. But today I want to offer you a challenge:

Are you really prioritizing your marriage?

Many women think a lot about marriage.

We like analyzing relationships. We did it when we were teenagers, and we were constantly wondering if he would call back, or if he really liked us. We did it when we were about to get engaged, and we were wondering if he was the right one. And we do it now.

Unfortunately, because we women like to think, we often confuse thinking with action.

If I’m thinking about an issue and talking about an issue and reading about an issue, then that means I care about the issue, right? But if it doesn’t translate into action, then it doesn’t mean anything.

If you look at the time and energy you really devote to your marriage, is it a priority? If you always fall into bed exhausted, because everyone gets your time and effort except your husband, then there may be a problem. Now, this isn’t always something it’s easy to fix. Kids do need our attention. Laundry does need to be done. Many of us work outside the home. And so we tend to focus on the things that are screaming out for attention–those little emergencies–and get those done first.

Many of us operate on this emergency mode.

Marriages aren’t emergencies most of the time, but if we stop tending to them, they can suddenly become emergencies. Your husband won’t scream out for attention to be paid. He’ll just slowly withdraw. And you likely don’t scream out, either. If your husband doesn’t pay attention, you may likely withdraw. That’s a cycle that needs to stop in 2012.

Marriage is such an incredible blessing. Because you’re married, you’re likely to live longer, be happier, suffer fewer crimes, be wealthier, have more well-adjusted children, and have less mental illness. All because of marriage. That’s not inevitable, however. It’s only if you care for your marriage.

I know, however, that caring for your marriage isn’t always easy. Many of you are married to men who don’t take good care of you. Many of you are married to men who look at porn, who are demanding in bed, or who aren’t interested in sex at all. Many of you have impossible in-laws. Many of you have chronic exhaustion or depression. Many of you are simply lonely.

Good Girls Guide My SiteAnd so over the next year I want to help.

I’ll point you to great resources that I’ve found on marriage (just like my list of the 50 best marriage quotes). I’ll post lots of practical tips on how we can make our marriages great. I want to start posting more vLogs! And best of all, my book “The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex” will be out in early March, and I’m so looking forward to sharing that with you (Update: Available Now!)

To get ready for that, February here on To Love, Honor and Vacuum will be a special month, where I’ll be posting “29 Days to Great Sex“. So stick around!

For now, though, I’d like to point you to a great resource that I think can help you in the new year, and it’s J’s post from Hot, Holy, and Humorous, about how she sees New Year’s Resolutions when it comes to marriage: High Standards, Low Expectations. It’s a great perspective.

wifey wednesday

Now it’s your turn! Can you help make this blog great in the coming year? Just list in the comments one or two questions about marriage and/or sex that you most want answered, to help me make sure that my posts are on target!