My husband and I are speaking at FamilyLife Canada’s Weekend to Remember conference in Collingwood, Ontario, this weekend, along with another speaker couple, Anne and Walt Moodie.
Today, in the morning, we talked about God’s purpose, plan and power for marriage. Some key thoughts:
In other words, after a while it matters less whether you marry the right person, as it does whether you become the right person.
And the key thing to making a marriage work: acceptance of your spouse and faith in God. Turn to God for your strength and joy, and accept your spouse, and as you do, he or she will be empowered to be the best God made him or her to be. If you are always withholding love or withholding acceptance, he or she can’t grow.
That doesn’t mean you don’t confront on problems. We had a whole session today on resolving conflict! But to resolve conflict, and to bring up an issue, ask yourself these three questions (as posed by the other speaker couple, Anne and Walt Moodie):
Is it nice?
Is it necessary?
and Is it true?
If you can’t say it nicely, if it isn’t necessary to say, and if it isn’t true, don’t say it. But if it is necessary, if your heart is to improve your marriage, and if it is true, then say it.
Earlier today the couples took some project time to write a love letter to each other. It’s amazing how healing a process that can be–even if you have to remember back a few years to what first drew you to your spouse.