It’s Wednesday, the day when we talk marriage! I introduce a topic, and then you follow up either by commenting or by writing your own post and then linking up!
Today I want to talk about dressing my husband–how I actually like doing it.
Now I have an amazing husband. He’s awesome with my girls. He shows me love and affection. He cares about my feelings. He listens to my emotions. He gives me backrubs. He’s a great provider.
But he can’t get the hang of the fact that you really shouldn’t wear a white shirt with beige pants. Fashion is not his strong suit.
The other night at dinner I was looking at his pants, and they had received quite a lot of wear that day. There was dirt on them, and creases, and they were looking rather bad. But then I noticed that these were also his best dress pants. And he had them on with a few-years-old golf shirt that he likes to wear on more casual days to work.
I commented that given the number of perfectly serviceable, cotton pants are in his closet, perhaps it’s best not to wear dry-clean-only slacks with casual shirts. He laughed and says that when he gets dressed in the morning, the only question he has about pants are: are they clean? And do they fit? And if they’re not clean, but he can wipe something off, that’s good enough.
I have realized long ago that my husband will never have the fashion sense that I do.
But here’s the thing: I like him looking sharp. I like him looking put together. But I can’t rely on him to do this, because he just doesn’t get it. So now every night I get an outfit together for him and put it on his dresser for him to put on in the morning. That way, if he leaves for work early and I don’t see him until he gets home for dinner, I don’t die of embarrassment because he’s been wearing beige with white all day.
I figure you can always spot the married men in a crowd because they look put together. But it tends not to be because they know how to dress. It’s because a woman makes sure that they leave home looking presentable.
So you can complain about his fashion sense, or complain that he wears the good pants too often and wears them out, or complain that his tie doesn’t match his shirt, or you could just lay out his clothes for him.
Personally, I’d rather lay out his clothes.
I like putting outfits together, and he does have nice clothes. He just can’t figure out what goes with what.
I think that when your husband looks put together, it reflects well on everybody. I used to do it years ago, but I stopped, and then that night when I noticed his dirty really-expensive pants, I realized it was time to start again. And so I do.
It’s just what marriage is all about: you get to fill in the holes that he’s really bad at, and he fills in the holes that you’re really bad at.
Rather than being upset at him for not “getting it”, just realize that this is who he is, and plug the hole. It’s really not a big deal.
Maybe for you the issue isn’t clothes. Maybe he’s awesome at picking out his own clothes and making outfits, but for the life of him he cannot balance a chequebook. Or maybe he can’t remember birthdays. Or maybe he’s really bad at keeping track of his appointments.
One of the great things about being married is that you can step in where someone else is weak and you can be a team. My husband appreciates me picking out his clothes (I wouldn’t do it if he didn’t). It gives him one less thing to worry about. I appreciate him keeping track of the finances and when the cars need oil changes. That’s one less thing for me to worry about.
I used to do the finances when Keith was busier, but it stressed me out to no end. He actually enjoys doing them.