We all want strong marriages, but too often we forget how to do things together. And then, slowly but surely, we grow apart.

Unfortunately, when a marriage starts going sour, people often focus on the most visible symptoms, rather than the underlying cause. So, for instance, they’ll look at a blah, or non-existent, sex life and think that’s the cause, when really it’s a symptom of something deeper. Or they’ll look at the way the couple hardly spends any time together, which can be a cause, but more often is a symptom of a lack of care for the marriage.

What a marriage really needs, I think, is spiritual intimacy and a deep sense of friendship. Everything else grows out of that. You have to feel like you’re in this together. And you have to feel connected to God. Those two go hand in hand. And when you have those two things, you’ll communicate better. You’ll have better sex. You’ll parent better. You’ll be able to resolve conflict better because there’s a sense of goodwill there already.

So what can you do to build up both friendship and real intimacy? I want that to be our topic today, and if you all have any ideas, please write your own posts or comment below! But here’s one very simply suggestion I have which really, really works.

This may sound strange, but I find the best way to keep spiritual intimacy alive is just to go for walks.

It’s when we’re walking, away from the television, that we really share our hearts. And because God is so central to our hearts, that’s when we have the most spiritual conversations. We may not pray or read the Bible, but even talking about struggles or hashing out what we think a biblical story means is great!

Men tend to communicate with others side by side, when they’re doing something.

They don’t sit opposite someone and share their hearts normally. We women like to talk face to face, but that’s not as much in men’s make up. But when we walk, it’s a little bit less pressure. And that’s often when we open up.

So after dinner, while the weather is still nice, why not just head outside everyday and go for a walk? Talk about how your day went. Fill the time. And as you communicate, you’ll find that both your companionship and your spiritual intimacy is growing. I find this so much easier when we’re out of the house. When we’re at home, the computer or the telephone always intrudes. And to say, when you’re in the house, “let’s talk”, has a seriousness to it that you don’t need. But when you’re out, it naturally happens.

So that’s my take. What’s yours?