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The Latest From The Blog

Is It Okay to Withhold Sex in Marriage? Let’s Rethink Sexless Marriages

Nov 15, 2019 | Libido | 30 Comments

Is withholding sex in marriage okay? If you're not a sexual person, or if you don't think your spouse deserves sex, is it okay to cut them off from sex? A lot of people who are on this blog are desperate because their spouses have sex with them less than once a month,...

The 9 Signs of Grooming Behavior for Sexual Abuse

Nov 14, 2019 | Abuse, Podcasts | 32 Comments

I'm afraid that most of us don't know the signs of grooming behavior when it comes to sexual abuse. I know I didn't! But sexual abuse, especially in churches, has been in the news a lot lately, and I thought it was worth doing a post on recognizing grooming...

Our Soul Ties Series: Do You Form Soul Ties By Having Sex with Somebody?

Nov 13, 2019 | Sexual Intimacy, Theology of Marriage and Sex | 21 Comments

Does having sex with somebody mean that you have a soul tie with them--a spiritual bond that is hard to break? This month at To Love, Honor and Vacuum we're doing our Wednesday series on soul ties and emotional bonds, because it's a topic that seems to come up a lot...

What to Do When You’re Dreading Your Birthday

Nov 12, 2019 | Grief | 46 Comments

Sometimes life is just hard. And it's often birthdays and holidays that mark the passage of time, and remind us when life isn't going as planned. I write most of the posts on this blog, but I have a small team behind me. Rebecca (my daughter) writes a ton, moderates...

Does the Way We Talk about Women’s Libidos Make Women Have No Libido?

Nov 11, 2019 | Libido | 73 Comments

Personally, I think women's libidos is largely in our heads. As in, what we think about libido determines our libido. So what is it that we're told to think? Well, let's do a comparison here. Decades ago, boys took a lot of math and did most of the math jobs. Now, I'm...

Why We Need to Rethink Automatic Bible College & 22-Year-Old Youth Pastors

Nov 8, 2019 | Faith, Parenting Teenagers | 90 Comments

What if the way churches are hiring youth pastors is hurting our youth and hurting our youth pastors? This is going to be a long one. My girls and I have been talking about this for years, as they have watched friends go the Bible college/youth pastor route, and we...

PODCAST EXTRAS: Postpartum, Vaginismus, and Why Does It Hurt Down There?

Nov 7, 2019 | Podcasts | 37 Comments

We just don't talk about how relatively common sexual pain is. Today on the podcast Rebecca's sharing about her really difficult postpartum experience (she had a bad tear, plus she has a bizarre hormonal rash), and we're delving into how common sexual pain actually...

Our Soul Ties Series: What Are Soul Ties? And Do We Need to Break Soul Ties?

Nov 6, 2019 | Sexual Intimacy, Theology of Marriage and Sex | 42 Comments

I often get asked if soul ties exist, and, if so, how do you break soul ties? It's a common enough query that brings people to the blog that I thought it would be worth exploring some of what we mean by "soul tie" for our November series, and talk about how to frame...

Women Deserve Orgasm, Too: It’s Not Selfish for a Woman to Want to Orgasm During Intercourse

Nov 5, 2019 | Making Sex Feel Good | 138 Comments

Do women deserve to orgasm when making love to their husbands? Is it reasonable to expect that when a couple is making love, both of them should receive pleasure? I normally do a top 10 post on Tuesdays, and I had something all ready to go, but there was a discussion...

I Need Your Help–with the Biggest Christian Marriage & Sex Survey!

Nov 4, 2019 | Marriage | 18 Comments

I need your voice. Seriously. We are about to launch a BIG project at To Love, Honor and Vacuum. We've just signed a contract for a new book with Baker Books, tentatively titled The Great Sex Rescue. It's going to cover how to have amazing sex by getting over all the...

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About Sheila

SheilaSidebarAboutMe - To Love, Honor and Vacuum: For Your Marriage

Sheila Wray Gregoire has been married for 25 years and happily married for 20! She loves traveling around North America with her hubby in their RV, giving her signature "Girl Talk" about sex and marriage. And she's written 8 books. About sex and marriage. See a theme here? Plus she knits. Even in line at the grocery store.