Comments for To Love, Honor and Vacuum http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com No pretensions, just real marriage, and real solutions Thu, 23 Feb 2012 04:34:16 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Comment on 29 Days to Great Sex Day 22: How Often is Enough? by Amy http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2012/02/29-days-to-great-sex-day-22-how-often-is-enough/#comment-11860 Amy Thu, 23 Feb 2012 04:34:16 +0000 http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/?p=5305#comment-11860 When we were younger, it was a bigger problem, as I was tired with being a new mom and he was more at his peak sexually, and wasn't getting enough. As we've gotten older, it's balanced out. We have sex at least once a week. But it's hard during the week, as he has had to adjust to 3rd shift again and is only up for about 1 1/2 hours (and is usually tired) before he goes to work. I've been actually wanting it more lately, so look forward to Fridays or Saturdays (and I want to try your suggestion that you sent me!) I'm hoping he gets adjusted eventually, so that he can be awake a little earlier during the week, both for me and for the kids. When we were younger, it was a bigger problem, as I was tired with being a new mom and he was more at his peak sexually, and wasn’t getting enough. As we’ve gotten older, it’s balanced out. We have sex at least once a week. But it’s hard during the week, as he has had to adjust to 3rd shift again and is only up for about 1 1/2 hours (and is usually tired) before he goes to work. I’ve been actually wanting it more lately, so look forward to Fridays or Saturdays (and I want to try your suggestion that you sent me!) I’m hoping he gets adjusted eventually, so that he can be awake a little earlier during the week, both for me and for the kids.

]]> Comment on 29 Days to Great Sex Day 22: How Often is Enough? by Sheila http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2012/02/29-days-to-great-sex-day-22-how-often-is-enough/#comment-11857 Sheila Thu, 23 Feb 2012 02:37:17 +0000 http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/?p=5305#comment-11857 Awesome, Kayla! It's like that circle that I talk about in the book--when you start making love more, all kinds of other benefits come, too! (And yes, for women, libido is often a use it or lose it phenomenon. When we use it more, we get it more!) Awesome, Kayla! It’s like that circle that I talk about in the book–when you start making love more, all kinds of other benefits come, too! (And yes, for women, libido is often a use it or lose it phenomenon. When we use it more, we get it more!)

]]> Comment on 29 Days to Great Sex Day 22: How Often is Enough? by Kayla Arrowood http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2012/02/29-days-to-great-sex-day-22-how-often-is-enough/#comment-11856 Kayla Arrowood Thu, 23 Feb 2012 02:09:10 +0000 http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/?p=5305#comment-11856 I have changed my mindset over the last few months to try to provide more to my husband. I want him happy and I have to say I want happy too!! So after making love more often I must admit I want it just as much as him. We have sex almost daily. We are 30ish, We have 3 kids, he works full time and goes to school part time, I homeschool and work evenings from home... We are active in our Church and Homeschool Group. I must say I ACTUALLY FEEL BETTER!!! LMBO!!!!!!!!! I don't understand it however I don't have to it just helps me by making love to my husband more!! So moral of story --- TRY TO MAKE LOVE EVEN WHEN YOU DONT WANT TO OR YOUR TIRED... Its worth the results!! I have changed my mindset over the last few months to try to provide more to my husband. I want him happy and I have to say I want happy too!!

So after making love more often I must admit I want it just as much as him. We have sex almost daily. We are 30ish, We have 3 kids, he works full time and goes to school part time, I homeschool and work evenings from home… We are active in our Church and Homeschool Group. I must say I ACTUALLY FEEL BETTER!!! LMBO!!!!!!!!! I don’t understand it however I don’t have to it just helps me by making love to my husband more!!

So moral of story — TRY TO MAKE LOVE EVEN WHEN YOU DONT WANT TO OR YOUR TIRED… Its worth the results!!
Kayla Arrowood recently posted..Earth Worm Study – CompleteMy Profile

]]> Comment on 29 Days to Great Sex Day 22: How Often is Enough? by Sheila http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2012/02/29-days-to-great-sex-day-22-how-often-is-enough/#comment-11855 Sheila Wed, 22 Feb 2012 23:40:56 +0000 http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/?p=5305#comment-11855 That is so difficult, Kelly! I know that's what so many couples have to do when jobs are scarce, but I guess I'd just say hang in there, take advantage of the time you do have, and look for other jobs so you can be together more! That is so difficult, Kelly! I know that’s what so many couples have to do when jobs are scarce, but I guess I’d just say hang in there, take advantage of the time you do have, and look for other jobs so you can be together more!

]]> Comment on 29 Days to Great Sex Day 22: How Often is Enough? by Kelly http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2012/02/29-days-to-great-sex-day-22-how-often-is-enough/#comment-11854 Kelly Wed, 22 Feb 2012 23:20:55 +0000 http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/?p=5305#comment-11854 In my case, my husband and I both work full time outside of the home. He works second shift and I work third shift. Since he went on second shift last month the frequency of our love making has decreased immensely as it's too hard to find time to be together. In the mornings, I'm tired and want to go to bed because I have to get up by 5pm to care for our 7yr old son. In the early evening, he's not here. When he gets home around midnight during the week, I'm not home. So, that leaves weekends. In my case, my husband and I both work full time outside of the home. He works second shift and I work third shift. Since he went on second shift last month the frequency of our love making has decreased immensely as it’s too hard to find time to be together. In the mornings, I’m tired and want to go to bed because I have to get up by 5pm to care for our 7yr old son. In the early evening, he’s not here. When he gets home around midnight during the week, I’m not home. So, that leaves weekends.

]]> Comment on 29 Days to Great Sex Day 3: Love the Skin You’re In by Sheila http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2012/02/29-days-to-great-sex-day-3-love-the-skin-youre-in/#comment-11853 Sheila Wed, 22 Feb 2012 21:14:59 +0000 http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/?p=5102#comment-11853 Vanessa, I think what you're feeling is really quite common and normal. What we need to do, I think, is focus on those good things. You said you can name 4 on your face--that's wonderful! Use makeup to play them up so you feel pretty. Feeling pretty during the day--even if you're wearing attractive clothes to cover up your stomach--is part of feeling pretty at night. So play up the things you like, and others will think of you that way, too. And then just focus on how much your husband loves you. I know that you will never have the stomach you want (short of surgery) but you can have the relationship you want. And maybe if we started talking about the things that we liked, rather than what we didn't like, and then just trying to bask in our husband's love, some of this would get easier. But I know it's hard. I really do. I just encourage you to push through, and talk to your husband about it, because I'm sure he'd love to make you feel better and more confident! Vanessa, I think what you’re feeling is really quite common and normal. What we need to do, I think, is focus on those good things. You said you can name 4 on your face–that’s wonderful! Use makeup to play them up so you feel pretty. Feeling pretty during the day–even if you’re wearing attractive clothes to cover up your stomach–is part of feeling pretty at night. So play up the things you like, and others will think of you that way, too.

And then just focus on how much your husband loves you. I know that you will never have the stomach you want (short of surgery) but you can have the relationship you want. And maybe if we started talking about the things that we liked, rather than what we didn’t like, and then just trying to bask in our husband’s love, some of this would get easier. But I know it’s hard. I really do. I just encourage you to push through, and talk to your husband about it, because I’m sure he’d love to make you feel better and more confident!

]]> Comment on 29 Days to Great Sex Day 22: How Often is Enough? by Elizabeth http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2012/02/29-days-to-great-sex-day-22-how-often-is-enough/#comment-11852 Elizabeth Wed, 22 Feb 2012 20:22:51 +0000 http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/?p=5305#comment-11852 My DH normally wants sex 2x/day... he always has. Realistically, that just doesn't happen! For me, I would ideally have sex 1-2x/week. Pretty big difference there. For us it's been a sanctifying experience as we learn to value the other person's wishes and desires above our own. That means that I have more sex than I would maybe naturally want to have, and my husband has less than he would naturally want to have. We both look at sex as an opportunity to "die to self" and serve the other person when we don't really want to do that. My DH normally wants sex 2x/day… he always has. Realistically, that just doesn’t happen! For me, I would ideally have sex 1-2x/week. Pretty big difference there. For us it’s been a sanctifying experience as we learn to value the other person’s wishes and desires above our own. That means that I have more sex than I would maybe naturally want to have, and my husband has less than he would naturally want to have. We both look at sex as an opportunity to “die to self” and serve the other person when we don’t really want to do that.

]]> Comment on 29 Days to Great Sex Day 3: Love the Skin You’re In by Vanessa http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2012/02/29-days-to-great-sex-day-3-love-the-skin-youre-in/#comment-11851 Vanessa Wed, 22 Feb 2012 19:39:30 +0000 http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/?p=5102#comment-11851 I am so thrilled to have discovered this series. My husband and I have a good sex life with much to improve, -- we`re enjoying the jouney 5 years married and two babies along. However, I found this article a bit discouraging. I could name 5 parts (4 of which are on my face) but I am about 60lbs overweight with a disfigured stomach -- grossly distended, wrinkled, saggy, c-section scar overwhich all my fat hangs, etc. Any position or situation that accentuates it makes me completely `lose the groove`. I hate standing in broad day light (candle light, low light in the moment is ok) like when showering or getting dressed. It has become an àrt`(or distraction) trying to make love while concealing my stomach and avoiding his touch there. This is very hard to put into words, but that is the truth of it. How do I gain confidence in my sexyness while dealing with this issue without waiting until I lose the weight. Even when I do lose it, the evidence of how I treated my body will always be tehre, unless I get a tummy tuck (totally not an option). I am so thrilled to have discovered this series. My husband and I have a good sex life with much to improve, — we`re enjoying the jouney 5 years married and two babies along.

However, I found this article a bit discouraging. I could name 5 parts (4 of which are on my face) but I am about 60lbs overweight with a disfigured stomach — grossly distended, wrinkled, saggy, c-section scar overwhich all my fat hangs, etc. Any position or situation that accentuates it makes me completely `lose the groove`. I hate standing in broad day light (candle light, low light in the moment is ok) like when showering or getting dressed. It has become an àrt`(or distraction) trying to make love while concealing my stomach and avoiding his touch there.

This is very hard to put into words, but that is the truth of it. How do I gain confidence in my sexyness while dealing with this issue without waiting until I lose the weight. Even when I do lose it, the evidence of how I treated my body will always be tehre, unless I get a tummy tuck (totally not an option).

]]> Comment on 29 Days to Great Sex Day 22: How Often is Enough? by Aura http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2012/02/29-days-to-great-sex-day-22-how-often-is-enough/#comment-11850 Aura Wed, 22 Feb 2012 19:20:41 +0000 http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/?p=5305#comment-11850 It's pretty much good for anything you want lt for. ;) It's great for massage, lube, even oral 'cause it doesn't really have a taste. It’s pretty much good for anything you want lt for. ;) It’s great for massage, lube, even oral ’cause it doesn’t really have a taste.

]]> Comment on 29 Days to Great Sex Day 22: How Often is Enough? by Sheila http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2012/02/29-days-to-great-sex-day-22-how-often-is-enough/#comment-11848 Sheila Wed, 22 Feb 2012 18:34:38 +0000 http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/?p=5305#comment-11848 Very true, David. I think the #3 reason would be relationship issues: stress, past sexual problems, past affairs, and that just combines to make men feel insecure. And if you're insecure and afraid that it won't work, you may run away from it. Closely tied with #2 is also diabetes/health issues. Many health problems lower testosterone and thus lower sex drive, including being overweight and having diabetes. Often just getting that under control can make a tremendous difference. But many men who do have low testosterone don't really care about it, and that's the problem: how do you get him to get help? We'll talk about that soon! Very true, David. I think the #3 reason would be relationship issues: stress, past sexual problems, past affairs, and that just combines to make men feel insecure. And if you’re insecure and afraid that it won’t work, you may run away from it. Closely tied with #2 is also diabetes/health issues. Many health problems lower testosterone and thus lower sex drive, including being overweight and having diabetes. Often just getting that under control can make a tremendous difference. But many men who do have low testosterone don’t really care about it, and that’s the problem: how do you get him to get help? We’ll talk about that soon!

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