How Getting Rid of Stuff Gives You More Hours in the Day

'Sorting the clutter' photo (c) 2008, Rubbermaid Products - license: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/I have a friend who has come through quite the journey over the last few years, and she’s been blogging about some of her baby-steps to a more manageable life. Her post today was so practical–and so life-changing–that I just had to share it.

She writes:

Recently I purged my Littles’ clothes. I have a couple of large bags of clothes ready to be given away. The Littles now each have seven outfits plus three pairs of pyjamas. That’s it. All of their clothes fit into one load of laundry. This has simplified my life so much! One load – if every piece of clothes they own is dirty! I’m contemplating reducing even further, down to four outfits each since they tend to pick the same clothes over and over anyway.

I purged my dishes as well. I now have 4 dinner plates, 7 lunch plates and 7 bowls plus glasses and utensils. I got rid of my ancient, Teflon-flaking pots and bought a set of pots. They all fit together nicely in the cupboard. I purged my appliances and only kept what I use.  As a result we can actually get a pot or appliance out of the cupboard without risking a bruise or broken toe.

Two small actions. One huge result. Because all of the laundry can fit into one load I am staying on top of laundry. Because I’m staying on top of laundry I have more time. Because the dishes *have* to be done after every meal if we want plates to eat off of for the next meal then my dishes are done most of the time. No more overwhelming pile of crusted on dishes greet me in the morning. Because I’m staying on top of the dishes I have more time. More time to battle the clutter that life brings in, more time to spend with my kids and my friends, more time to read, more time to spend building a future, more time getting healthier.  This time is such a gift to me.

Please read the whole thing, with the rest of her insights! And leave her some encouragement in the comments, too! Now I think I need to go clean out my Tupperware cupboard…

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Are You Just TOO Busy?

I am so excited about today’s guest post! I’ve been away a lot of the summer, and when I’m home I’ve been trying to take it easy, so I’ve asked some people to guest post.

And one of those is Joanne Kraft, who has written a new book that we absolutely MUST pay attention to called Just Too Busy: Taking your Family on a Radical Sabbatical. With the fall just around the corner, and with everybody starting to think about schedules, her message couldn’t be more timely. PLEASE take this post to heart. I so appreciate Joanne sharing it with us, and I know I’m praying about how to take a radical sabbatical myself this year! Here’s Joanne:

Busy Weekphoto © 2010 Duncan Harris | more info (via: Wylio)
Are you a busy mom? I know. What a silly question. Kind of like asking a new mother if she’s tired or chocolate if it’s delicious. When I became a mother I discovered busy and mom go hand in hand.

Not long ago, I was searching for help for my chaotic, topsy-turvy life. Everywhere I turned I couldn’t swing my purse without hitting books for Busy Moms, The Busy Moms Recipe Book – You Too Can Make a Fourteen Course Meal in Eight Minutes. The Busy Moms 4.2 second Devotional Book, How to Change a Flat Tire – for Busy Moms. Unfortunately, they all seemed to ignore the gargantuan pink elephant in the room and accept the fact that I was busy, too busy.

Were there any moms out there who had fought the insanity of busyness and been crowned victor? I needed solutions from moms who had walked a mile in my tired, worn-out mommy-shoes. Our family’s answer was to take a radical sabbatical—a twelve month time-out from any activity I had to drive my children to. For a whole year we learned to slow down, and in the process discovered how to be a family again.

I’d like to share a few areas in my life that suffered under the burden of my busyness, and the solutions that crowned me victorious. This is from my list of ten reasons in my book, Just Too Busy—Taking Your Family on a Radical Sabbatical that helped my husband and I to take the plunge into the radical sabbatical unknown!


A romantic night out = Our 4th grader playing Chop Sticks on our back deck.

A family is only as strong as the marriage inside of it. With children pulling us in ten different directions every day, busyness was keeping us from being alone together. There was a time when my husband was going to law school during the day and working full-time at night, while I was home enjoying our three-ring-circus. Not really a recipe for romance. As much as we enjoyed holding hands during our son’s baseball games or our daughter’s dance lessons, it wasn’t enough. Being serenaded by our daughter and her evening practice of saxophone chop sticks- 4th grade style was as lovey-dovey as things got. It was precious but it didn’t fill our need for a little romance.


Solution: When our children were young, we made a point to have them in bed by 8pm each night. This gave us two hours of time alone together before our own bedtime. Quite often I would save a yummy treat just for the two of us to share. No matter how difficult our day, just knowing we would have some time alone together in the evening was a great motivator for both of us.

My kids thought all meals came with a side of fries.

Ok, so I may be exaggerating a little bit here. But, my children have eaten more fast food than ever passed my lips as a child. When my eight-year-old daughter could recite the dollar value meals at McDonald’s with more accuracy than her time-tables, I knew we had a problem.

When I was busy it was just a whole lot easier to speak into a clown’s head, drive forward and have a complete stranger hand me dinner in a bag.

I desired for us to eat as a family, I really did. When I was a little girl it was our family practice to have dinner together. If my father worked late we waited. We ate together as a family or we didn’t eat at all.

Solution: Plan. Plan. Plan. There’s no way around it. If I don’t know ahead of time what I’m making for dinner, then a healthy family meal around our kitchen table is not going to happen. And, for the record, it is possible to fall in love with your crock-pot. My youngest daughter volunteered to sit beside me and look through cookbooks each week. She was more than happy to help me create our weekly meal plan. Having time alone with my daughter Grace is time well spent.

Singing Jesus Take the Wheel on the way to a Girl Scout Meeting,
counted as my Bible study for the week.

I would make time for everything else, including Paula Abdul, Randy Jackson and Simon Cowell, before I would give a moment of my day to the very One who’d given me all of mine.

I considered Bible study by country radio station completely acceptable. I used every excuse to put off opening my Bible and feasting on His Word. How many times had I missed out on godly encouragement—a treasure in scripture from the Lord just for me? It would have made my busy day much more bearable.


Solution: I began keeping a Bible by the side of my bed, in my bathroom and on my kitchen counter. Each day, no matter where I went in my house, I would be reminded to have my time with the Lord. It surprised me to discover when I made time for the Lord the more I desired time with Him. When I prayed I would ask Him to clear my schedule so we could be alone together. He always did.
*************

I am a mom. My life is busy. But I can keep it from being too busy. So can you. What is taking up the most of your time? What is causing you the greatest burden? Where can you make small changes to discover big rewards? I challenge you to make your own list today. And don’t try and tell me you’re too busy. You have time. I know you do.


Excerpt from Just Too Busy-Taking Your Family on a Radical Sabbatical; Beacon Hill Press 2011

Joanne Kraft has a passion for encouraging women. A sought-after speaker, Kraft has been published in Today’s Christian Woman, In Touch, ParentLife, Kyria, and P31 Woman Magazine. She is the author of the nonfiction book Just Too Busy: Taking your Family on a Radical Sabbatical. Joanne lives with her husband Paul in the California Sierra Nevada Foothills, where they are raising their four children. Follow her on Twitter @JoanneKraft and visit her at JoanneKraft.com. or GraceandTruthLiving.com

What do you think? Are you too busy? Are you prepared to cut things out in the coming year? Tell me about it!

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Thoughts on Being Overburdened

I took down a post today. It was up for about an hour, and several commenters rightly took me to task for being too hard on someone. So I decided it wasn’t worth keeping online. I may comment on it again later and explain my reasoning, but I’m sitting in the Charlotte, North Carolina airport right now, and I haven’t eaten all day, and I’m probably not in the right mental place!

But I am having a series of thoughts that all seem to flow from the same place, and so let me pose a question:

We are called to be Good Samaritans, and help our neighbors. We are called to make use of opportunities to bring God to people. But here’s the problem: the opportunities are limitless, and we are not. How do you choose?

I was challenged today, for instance, that I hadn’t taken enough time with someone who wanted my help. I understand the criticism, but let me tell you another story that is currently happening to a good friend of mine.

My friend married a man with no family except for one aunt, whom he feels responsible for. This aunt has more than enough money to get by, but she is a “taker” and not a “giver”. She expects to be invited to everything; to be deferred to; to be pampered; but she never says thank you, or offers to help in the kitchen, or anything. She is extraordinarily lazy.

This aunt is now experiencing health issues where she really can’t care for herself anymore. She can’t clean, and she can’t manage her finances. But she won’t hire a housekeeper and she won’t move to the city near my friend and her husband. Instead, whenever she runs into a particularly bad pickle she expects my friend to drop everything, including her three children, and come and clean her house. She does not reimburse my friend for gas money or for cleaning supplies.

My friend doesn’t mind helping, but dropping everything when you have a baby and children who need to get picked up from a school bus and soccer that needs to be practiced is very difficult.

So here’s the question: how much are you expected to help? Should she just “suck it up” and keep helping, or is it okay if she says, “I will help if you move closer, but I can’t keep doing this?”

I don’t have a good answer for her, but I’m curious as to what you all think.

I often feel pulled in many directions. I deal with “help request” emails everyday, and spend about an hour a day answering mentoring emails. I don’t mind the ones to do with marriage–I can usually turn them into blog posts, so I find them actually helpful sometimes when I try to come up with new posts. But when you combine that with my work with the youth at my church, and wanting to get together with my nephews and niece who could really use us, and seeing my in-laws and my mother, and meeting our neighbors, and still homeschooling my children and making dinner, it gets difficult.

At some point, I think you need to say: this is the ministry that God has given me to do. And even if someone asks for help, or even if I have the opportunity to show God to someone, that doesn’t mean that I have to do it. I can’t burn myself out.

Is that fair? I try to pray and ask God that He will show me the opportunities I’m actually supposed to follow, but I’m at the point where I can’t say yes to everything. And I’m not sure I’m good at hearing God (as is evidenced by my bad judgment today).

So how do you all juggle it? How do you shine as a light to others without blowing out your own wick? How far does our responsibility go?

I’d love to hear your thoughts!

And now I need to go board a plane….

 

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