All this week we’ve been talking about resolving conflict in marriage.
If you missed some of the posts on how to resolve conflict, please read this one on the one reason we can never fix marriage problems. It’ s SO important that couples get this concept!
I wanted to give someone else the last word today, though. Some of my long-time readers may know a commenter who simply went by “P”. He was an older gentleman–in his 70s. And he read this blog faithfully, and always left the kindest comments. He left a total of 129 of them, and they were always about how much he loved his wife, loved his God, and was so grateful for his marriage. He even wrote about how great sex was when you truly loved each other, even in the senior years. Here’s a typical one:
[another commenter] mentions Eph 5, 21-24 and this does ask women to submit to their husbands, but people then do not read on further. Verses 25-33 detail the sort of husband he should be, he must be prepared to die for his wife should it be necessary just as Jesus died for His church. He must put her needs before his own. For years I did not follow these verses, and as a human, I fail from time to time, but since I have sincerely tried to follow these instructions our marriage has become stronger and I appreciate God’s gift of the woman I love more and more. I thought our marriage was good from day 1 but it is so much better now. We both have health problems but it is sheer joy to look after each other and encourage each other and our love grows daily.
He hinted in that comment about his health problems. He left his last comment on July 16. Shortly thereafter he emailed me and asked to be removed from my newsletter list, since he was in the final stages of cancer and would be transitioning to palliative care.
I don’t know if he’s gone to be with the Lord yet (I don’t even know his name! I only know he’s Canadian). But he was (is?) a wonderful encourager, and I so appreciated him.
And so I thought it would be fitting to let him have the last word today. Shortly before that last email, he sent me this note:
As a senior 73, wife 70, I have had a thought which never crossed my mind when I was in that age group. That is simply that our time on earth is limited. Although none of us knows how long we have to live, at our ages time is obviously limited.
The point is that as life is short is it really worth falling out with your spouse and getting all upset with each other? Or is it not better to work TOGETHER to sort out differences? Then however many days of marriage are left each and every one could and should be filled with as much love, joy and happiness as is within their power to give to each other. Can you think of anything more terrible than that your spouse should die after you have had an unresolved argument? What a memory to bear for the rest of your life.
My wife and I are happier now than we have ever been, despite health problems from time to time. Our love for each other is deepening and we both strive to meet each other’s needs constantly.
Gloomy thoughts to be sure but maybe such thoughts could encourage reconciliation before it is too late in every area of marriage.
Thank you, P. And may God be with your wife and family right now, and may He bless them for the blessing that you have always been.
What’s #1 at To Love, Honor and Vacuum?
We have so much to look at this week in the Tops! Here are some great tips on how to spend time with your hubby as well as some other important topics. Check it out!
#1 Post on the Blog: 10 Ways To Talk So Your Husband Will Hear
#1 on the Blog Overall: Top 10 Tips For Initiating Sex With Your Husband
#1 from Facebook: “Do Not Deprive” Roundup
#2 from Pinterest: An Awesome List Of 79 Hobbies To Do With Your Spouse
Thanks everybody for tuning in! I’m in California right now, sitting in our RV.
I’m taking a reader out to lunch today who won “dinner with me” in a contest I did a while back! She’s been waiting for me to get to California to join her. And then tomorrow night I’m giving my Girl Talk at Bethany Christian Reformed Church in Bellflower (near Los Angeles). Get tickets here, and I hope to see you!
And remember: we’re booking for Girl Talks in late spring and for next fall (where we’ll go anywhere! We haven’t made up our mind yet where the tour will go, it depends where all the bookings are for). So email my assistant Tammy if you want more information! I’d love to meet more of you!