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Can you have a porn-free home?

I wish I could say, “absolutely!”, but I can’t. I don’t even like the title of this post, because it promises something I can’t deliver. I was thinking of “Porn Safe”, but that makes it sound like your home is safe FOR porn. Then I was thinking “Limit Porn”, but that makes it sound like there’s a safe time limit.

So here’s what I am saying: most of our kids are going to see porn. Most of our husbands are going to be tempted by porn. A large proportion of us women are also going to be tempted and going to see it or seek it out at some point.

Almost everybody is going to stumble across porn. There is nothing that you can do that will give you a 100% guarantee that no one will see porn.

But what you can do is create an environment in your home where a porn habit is far less likely to develop. And it’s the habit we want to avoid.

Every Friday I write a quick, 400 word inspirational piece to help us get through the weekend with one major thought. And I decided that today, with Back to School upon us being a great time to institute new family habits, I thought I’d challenge us to create a home that’s far less porn friendly and far more family friendly.

Sheila’s Marriage Moment: Move Towards a Porn Free Home!

A Porn Free Home--3 steps to limit the chances a porn habit will develop, while keeping you closer as a family.

The average age that kids are introduced to porn is quickly falling, to around 10. Girls are becoming one of the fastest-growing groups of porn watchers. And most men battle with the temptation to look at porn.

Let’s not assume that porn is something only moms of 15 or 16-year-old boys have to worry about. We need to fight this fight for the sake of everyone in our family.

That’s the environment we’re in. Now let’s look at the risk factors.

When do people tend to form porn habits? When porn is easy; when they’re bored; when they’re stressed; and when they’re alone. If we can limit those risk factors, then we limit porn!

1. Subscribe to Covenant Eyes

It’s a program that runs in the background of your computers, laptops, phones and other devices that can either filter what sites you’re allowed to go to based on each person’s profile, send accountability emails of searches or websites visited to an accountability partner, or both.

And it’s not dependent on your wifi, so it goes with you, your husband or child outside of the house, too.

Look, if people know that if they search for something pornographic, an accountability partner will get an email, it reduces the risk that they’ll search. And often kids come upon porn sites inadvertently by searching for something they don’t realize sounds pornographic. Covenant Eyes makes sure that doesn’t happen.

And you get one month free when you sign up with my link!

2. Set Up a Technology Center in a Central Place

Buy a charging station where everybody can dock their phones, tablets or iPads. Then, make it a habit that at mealtimes, all devices go there so you can enjoy family time. And at bedtime, everyone’s devices return there to be charged overnight.

No one has their devices in the bedroom with them!

gofanco® 7-Port Desktop USB Charging Station for fast charging smart phones, tablets and wearable devices - iPhone, iPad, Samsung Galaxy, LG, Nexus, HTC and others

It’s late at night that teens (and adults) often start surfing the internet. And if the devices aren’t there, they can’t. Let’s get back to reading books at night or talking rather than being plugged in, since research has also consistently shown that using devices late at night makes you sleep worse, anyway.

3. Turn the Wifi Off at Night

You’re allowed to, you know. And when you unplug at dinner and unplug at night, stress is also likely to be reduced because everyone will talk to each other more, and turn to more social forms of entertainment.

Create a culture in your home where the internet isn’t with you 24/7, and people turn to each other instead. It will never guarantee there won’t be problems, but it will help you build the kind of family where it’s less likely. And then you’ll also have the kind of family where if there is a problem–you’re far closer and better equipped to deal with it!

Full disclosure: I’m an affiliate for Covenant Eyes–but that’s only because I really believe in them! I’m so glad there’s a company aiming to help protect families from porn, and I hope they can help you, too!

Friday Roundup on To Love, Honor and Vacuum


What’s #1 at To Love, Honor and Vacuum?

The Top Post on the Blog this week hit #1 for 2/3 of the other categories!  How exciting is that!  So here are the number 2’s of this week to keep everything fresh!

TLHAV pic13#1 NEW Post on the Blog: “Pornography Made Everything Worse.” Are We Listening?
#2 on the Blog Overall: Top 10 Effects Of Porn On Your Brain, Your Marriage, And Your Sex Life.
#2 from Facebook: When Your Marriage Feels Distant – It’s Usually Not What You Think.
#2 from Pinterest: 10 Things That Scare Me About The “Purity” Culture.

My Hubby and I Started a New Hobby!

We love ballroom dancing, but when we were on our cruise this summer we found that we just didn’t know enough steps for each type of dance to really do well on the dance floor. So we decided that when we came home we’d take some lessons from YouTube.

We tried that for a while and then found a membership site at Passion4Dancing which we joined. It’s really fun! Just half an hour a night, and gets us moving (I spend too much time just sitting in my chair with my computer all day.) I’m hoping that when Katie’s home from camp next week, before we drive her back to school, that she can film some videos of us that I can show you all.

This is Our Last Weekend of Summer

Keith’s home this weekend, but then he’s on call Labour Day weekend, so this is really our last weekend to enjoy summer together.

That’s not entirely true, though, because on September 11 we leave in our RV for a month long road trip, where I’ll be giving my super fun Girl Talk (all about sex and marriage!) in Erie, Pennsylvania, and then into Kansas, Iowa, and Oklahoma. So we’ll be living in the RV, which to me feels like summer. Looking forward to that!

That tour is all booked up, but if you’re in New Mexico, Arizona, California, or Utah, we’re booking for January now! Just email my assistant Tammy if you’d like more info.

And so, since this is our last weekend, we’re going to go for a nice drive tomorrow and maybe a hike.

What are you doing this weekend? And how do you protect your family from porn? Have any great ideas? Let’s talk in the comments!

 

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