Wifey Wednesday: 5 Reasons Women Need Help from a Tube!

It's okay to get help from a tube! Why lubricants can be helpful (it's a clean post!)

Living as a Northern Gal, never-ending winter isn’t just a source of annoyance. It’s a source of extreme itchiness. I get such dry skin! Every morning, after my shower, I take a few minutes to enjoy the luscious feeling of rubbing moisturizer onto my legs and my torso.

If my hubby wants to make me melt, all he has to do is pull the massage oil out of the drawer and start kneading my back. The oil, combined with the pressure, makes the tension float away–and makes me far more interested in other kinds of slippery pursuits!

Plenty of times I turn to “moisture” to give me a hand at relaxing and feeling wonderful.

And yet somehow we women feel like it would be cheating to turn to some helpful lubricants when it comes to the bedroom. Dry skin? Sure. Sore muscles? But of course! Yet we feel we should be able to defeat hormonal fluctuations or menopause or stress, all of which can cause “dryness” sexually, on our own.

Today, on Wifey Wednesday, I want to sound the freedom beacon to all you women:

It’s okay to grab the tube if you need some extra lube!

Women Naturally Fluctuate in the Amount of Lubrication Our Bodies Produce

Certain times of the month we’ll find that we get “wet” fairly easily–often right in the middle of our cycle (and for some women right after their periods). But other times of the month, especially right before the next period, our bodies don’t tend to cooperate as much.

What’s our reaction?

We often berate ourselves, thinking, “why am I not in the mood tonight?” Or we start getting mad at our husbands: “He’s just not doing it right!” Maybe it’s got nothing to do with either of you!

And don’t forget that nursing, pregnancy, menopause, or even perimenopause can often cause a woman to have trouble with lubrication. Just like once you hit 40 most of us start to need reading glasses, so once you hit menopause most of us have a harder time with natural lubrication. You could be perfectly “turned on”–mentally, emotionally, even physically–but you’re just not lubricated.

Lubrication Helps Us Get Aroused More Easily

My husband Keith can massage me without using massage oil, and it still feels fine. But when he uses oil it feels heavenly! It’s the difference between pressure and friction. Pressure is wonderful, but friction can be annoying.

Sexually, we women tend to work the same way. We like the pressure; but friction doesn’t feel as good. Lubrication helps us just feel the pressure, and not the friction. And when that happens, it’s often easier to get even more aroused. So lube jumpstarts you!

Lubrication Helps You Be More Adventurous

Let’s face it–quickies are fun! Sometimes you want to put those kids in front of a video and head upstairs and play beat the clock. But that’s easier if you don’t need a ton of foreplay to be ready.

And sometimes we just want to try something that’s a tad adventurous, but may not be as comfortable as what you usually do. Lubrication can help new positions feel much better.

Commercial Lubricants Have Gotten Much Better!


Remember the days of KY jelly, when everything felt like thick vaseline? Lubrication was more like a visit to the gynecologist than something fun.

But today’s lubes are much less vaseline-like. And they don’t need to be purchased at an “adult” shop at all! Most drug stores have a great selection. Astro-Glide works well; and many women swear by coconut oil.

So remember, ladies–you are not a failure if you need lube! If you want to have more fun tonight, don’t be afraid to reach for the tube!

Bringing Sexy Back smallEvery Wednesday we talk marriage here at To Love, Honor and Vacuum–and I don’t beat around the bush. But don’t forget that if you want more more marriage info, you can sign up for my marriage newsletter, and get my free ebook, 36 Ways to Bring Sexy Back to Your Marriage!

Christian Marriage Advice

Usually on Wifey Wednesday I provide links to other great blogs with posts on similar subjects. I was just running behind this week and didn’t have time to get some! I’ll be sure to next week. I used to run a linky party, but I found that, unfortunately, a small percentage of the posts being linked really weren’t things I wanted to send people to, and I don’t have time to screen everything. I’m sorry that I can’t run it anymore; I did like you all linking up. It just got too difficult to manage and weed through, and I didn’t want to send people to bad posts. I guess that’s the problem with running a Christian “sex” blog!

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Comments

  1. Never in my life had to use lube for me and my wife. But we had bought some WET Platinum. This stuff is awesome. It works great at full body massages and it doesn’t dry out and become gritty or lumpy. It definitely is worth checking out.

  2. AveryLady says:

    WET platinum is hands down the BEST stuff out there! The only one that didn’t irritate me or get sticky and weird. A must in our bedroom!

  3. Virgin coconut oil can’t be beat! I’d you are wary of using unnatural products, coconut oil leaves nothing to be desired. And the lite scent of coconut will forevermore bring about pleasant feelings, and help get into the mood instantly, which alone is worth its use.

  4. This is a great reminder. Lube can be a huge asset in the bedroom. Sometimes a woman might think she’s not in the mood, but lo and behold, with a little bit of lube she finds it very easy to get in the mood! I’m not sure why anyone would feel bad about needing to use it, but don’t!
    Gaye @CalmHealthySexy recently posted…Important Information for Women Who are Considering a HysterectomyMy Profile

  5. “Good Clean Love” is a MUST. I don’t advocate for other products sold on their website, but their massage/love oils are the best!

  6. M. Lawrence says:

    we second the coconut oil opinion. It’s the best lube we’ve ever tried, and it has tons of health benefits, besides. Never leaves behind that sticky feeling you get from commercial lubes.

  7. Coconut oil is an amazing lubricant that not only truly moisturizes, but also has antibacterial properties that helps to prevent urinary tract infections. This has been a huge help to me as I am very prone to UTI’s. Other added benefits, coconut oil is 100% natural, eatible, a fantastic eye makeup remover, fabulous deep conditioner for your hair and so much more. Just be sure to buy the organic unrefined type in a glass container. Adding this oil to my life has been so incredibly helpful.

  8. Great input! Thanks to everyone but especially our gifted author!

  9. I tried coconut oil but it was a little greasy for me. I love the YES lubricants. Natural ingredients that don’t leave me irritated down under, and it is so long lasting and luxurious feeling. I got it at ethicalfamilyplanning.com and I’m sure its sold in other places also.

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