Kissing in Marriage: Top 10 Kisses Every Marriage Needs

Top Ten
It’s our Top 10 Tuesday day, and I thought I’d run a fun post today on kissing in marriage.

Frankly, I’m afraid that kissing often becomes a lost art in marriage. Most of us kiss before we’re married, but once we’re married we often stop, because kissing is supposed to lead to something else, right? And if we’re not sure we want to go there, then we don’t want to kiss. We wouldn’t want to give him the wrong idea.

But when we stop kissing, we lose one of our greatest ways to boost our own libidos–and we lose out on a lot of intimacy and fun! So today I thought I’d share ten different kisses every marriage needs.

Top 10 Kisses Every Marriage Needs--because kissing in marriage is FUN!

1. The “Hello” Kiss

He walks in the door–and you stop whatever you’re doing and make sure you get to him first–before the dog, before the kids, before anything. And you tell him, “I missed you today, and I’m glad you’re home!” Or if you’re the one who walks in the door, you seek him out first, and you plant one right on him. It’s usually light, it’s happy, and you’re smiling all the way through it.

I think this one’s my favourite–just because I look forward to whenever my husband comes home.

And what if it’s hello after a longer absence? Then all bets are off! You can end up on the floor, you can end up rolling around, you can end up all tangled. And tears are often involved.

2. The “Whooppee! I’m So Excited!” Kiss

You just got a promotion! He just got a raise. You just signed on the house! The little stick was pink. Whatever it may be–this one involves him picking you up and spinning you around, and lots of passion, and lots of laughter, all at the same time.

Because when we’re excited, we want to share it!

3. The “It’s Going to Be All Right” Kiss

Tears are falling silently. The miscarriage is over and you’re lying down in bed. You’re back from your mom’s funeral. You’re recovering from a fight with your teenage daughter, and you’re not sure if the relationship can be repaired.

And you lie down next to each other, hearts breaking, and you reach out and kiss. Sometimes it’s gentle, and sometimes it’s for dear life, but with this salty kiss you’re saying the same thing–I’m here with you. I’m not going anywhere. We’re going to get through this. And I want to share your pain.

Turn to each other when you hurt. It’s very healing.

4. The “I Love You So Much” Kiss

You’ve just prayed together and you’re overwhelmed by how amazing this man is. He’s just come back inside from throwing the ball around with your son. He stood up for you when your mom tried to manipulate you again.

And you’re so thrilled that this man is in your corner.

This kiss is heartfelt, it’s long, it’s drawn out–and you can feel it in your toes.

5. The “I’m Sorry” Kiss

One of your messed up–big time. You’ve confessed. You’ve forgiven. And now you’re rebuilding.

This one often starts out tentatively–but often ends up much more passionately. And often in bed! (Make up sex is a real thing, you know :) ).

6. The “I’m Going to Ravish You Now” Kiss

Here’s where the excitement is overwhelming, and the kiss takes on a life of its own.

This one almost always leads somewhere fun–and is almost always very memorable. Don’t be afraid to drag this one out. It’s more fun that way!

Kiss him Like you mean It

7. The “Silly” Kiss

You’re teasing each other. You’re tickling each other. You’re trying to gross the kids out. You’re dancing in the kitchen and he dramatically dips you–and then doesn’t let you get up.

We all need times just to be silly in our marriages. Throw in some silly kisses, too!

8. The “I Think You’re Hot” Kiss

This isn’t the passionate one–because you don’t have time. You’re stealing a kiss, and giving him a message for what’s coming later. Here’s where  you grab him, give him a long-drawn out, deep kiss that leaves him breathless–and then you smile and walk away, whispering, “later.” Because everyone needs some teasing in a marriage–as long as it’s going somewhere, of course!

9. The “You’re Just So Darn Cute” Kiss

You’re out for a walk and he’s telling a funny story. He’s imitating a weird accent and acting out a scene from work. He’s making you laugh, and he’s just so cute that you reach over and give him a little peck, laughing all the way.

Throw in some laughter into your marriage–it’s good for the soul!

10. The “Good-Bye” Kiss

Finally, it’s the most important one. Whether it’s just an affectionate peck when you say good-bye in the morning, or a tear-laced drawn out kiss when you’re parting for a while, make sure that every time you part, you part with a kiss. Make it a habit–let that always be the last thing you do, and you’ll hold on to him the whole time he’s gone.

Kissing in marriage is so important to express all kinds of different emotions. It’s our own special way of connecting. If your marriage regularly uses one or two of these–but rarely all ten, maybe it’s time to expand your repertoire! Laugh more. Be silly more. When you’re resolving conflict, end it well. Comfort him more. Be more vulnerable. Open up more.

Kissing can do all of that. So let’s rediscover the lost art of kissing–and have a wonderful time doing it!

Haven’t kissed passionately in a while? Just start with some little pecks to say good-bye and hello, and build from there. But don’t let kissing die. It’s too important–and too fun!

31 Days to Great SexIn my book, 31 Days to Great Sex, kissing is one of my 31 challenges! I encourage couples to share a 15-second kiss every day. It can totally transform your marriage. If your romance is stuck in the duldrums, check out 31 Days to Great Sex, and rediscover your passion for each other again.

Comments

  1. Yes, yes, and yes!!

    You missed one – the “we thought we were alone but there appears to be a 4yo climbing us and trying to join in the hug.” We seem to get that one a lot around here. (but it’s probably not essential!)

  2. I never used to kiss my hubby goodbye in the morning, because I just did my makeup-lipstick included and didn’t want to get it on him. So instead, I started putting on my lipstick once I got into the car (not while driving!) and I have found it is so nice to start my day with that physical connection. Hubby noticed too! A small shift in routine, yielded big results.

  3. purplecandy says:

    I love it ! :)
    We might not be good at a lot of things, but we sure are good at kissing ! That post reminded me of so many great moments…

    Oh, and for Emily : we have the “family hug” we do with the kids, we hug each other, and kiss each other on the cheeks all at the same time… luckily we’re just four, but it must be very fun to do even with a larger family ;)

  4. Oh I remember the “It’s alright kiss!” I had 2 miscarriages and I remember the first one my husband kissing me on the head as I bawled and I felt a drop from up further than my eyes and realized it was his tear. It didn’t make it any less sad just made me feel less alone. Gives me a lump in my throat just thinking about it.

  5. I don’t think – in fact, I know – that hubby and I don’t kiss enough. Not nearly enough. Thank you for this post!
    The Baby Mama recently posted…Cultivating Gratitude and Positive Thinking!My Profile

  6. Scarlett says:

    Sadly, there’s another one, and it’s the ‘obligatory kiss,’ which only lasts about a second but brings about feelings of duty, sadness and loss of hope. If that’s the only kind you have, is it worth doing?

  7. Such a wonderful post that gets me to thinking — we don’t kiss enough. With six kids between the ages of 3 and 12 years old, we’re doing well to even see each other before passing out for the night. Add into that the combination of an early bird married to a night owl, and I’m thinking we need to be super-intentional to get these kisses in. Sounds like a good challenge for this week to spice things up!!
    Polly recently posted…Little hands to holdMy Profile

  8. I unfortunately have a bit of a problem… My hubby stubbornly refuses to brush his teeth. We’ll, as I’m sure you can imagine, that doesn’t make me too enthusiastic about kissing… Any advice on how to motivate him? He used to brush his teeth before we got married, but dropped all pretense of cleanliness less than a month after we were married.

  9. Michael says:

    The one Kiss to avoid, or minimize, is to kiss your spouse like they are your child. Example, on the top of the head.

  10. I would like to say for those of you “young” in marriage years…kissing is very important. My hubby and I have been married 27 years. We were always involved in our kids activities…coaching football, coaching cheerleading, AWANAs leaders, everything. We started out as a young couple kissing all the time. Then as the kids activities increased, work increased, life increased…we slowed down kissing and eventually stopped. We love each other very much but we were so busy we forgot to take time for each other. Now that our 3 children are grown and have families of their own, it has taken us a LONG time to get back to us. We kind of looked at each other after the last child left the nest and I think we both said “Who are you?” lol. So some advice from a long married couple…don’t forget that to connect with your spouse every day one on one face to face.

  11. I can’t wait to give my husband a hello you’ve been deployed for 6 months kiss and get all these kisses into routine :)

  12. This is a great reminder! I will be reading this article to my husband and we will definitely utilize the advice ;) I did want to address Michael’s comment about not kissing your spouse like they are a child…I’m really not sure that’s possible, at least from a wife’s point of view. For example, my husband will sometimes kiss me on the forehead as if to say “Everything will be ok, I am here for you and I love you”. It just lets me know he cares and I’m not alone, always makes me feel better :)

  13. What if your husband just hates kissing? But your dying for some affection..

Comment Policy: Please stay positive with your comments. If your comment is rude, it gets deleted. Any comment that espouses an anti-marriage philosophy (eg. porn, adultery, abuse and the like) will be deleted. If it is critical, please make it constructive. If you are replying to another commenter, please be polite and don't assume you know everything about his or her situation. If you are constantly negative or a general troll, you will get banned. The definition of terms is left solely up to us. Sheila Wray Gregoire owns the copyright to all comments and may publish them in whatever form she sees fit. She agrees to keep any publication of comments anonymous, even if you are not anonymous on this board.

Leave a Comment

*


*

CommentLuv badge