19 responses

  1. Leanne
    March 26, 2014

    Just got this book from the library and looking forward to reading it! Shannon’s other new book To Know You kept me up WAY too late last night! Sheila it was neat to see your quote on the cover of that one! :-)
    Leanne recently posted…Options for the dreaded tax returnMy Profile

    • Sheila
      March 26, 2014

      Yeah, it was really nice to be asked to endorse it!

  2. Greg
    March 26, 2014

    “I believe the reason we worry about our sexuality is because we have somehow bought the lie that sex is dirty, shameful, base, animalistic, and hedonistic rather than natural, instinctual, spiritual, sublime, and holy.”

    We’re in a battle for truth. Speaking for myself, I fully know and embrace that God intended it to be beautiful, holy, and satisfying on so many levels. But frankly, as a 40+ year-old virgin, with all the real-world obstacles and challenges that have to be overcome for ongoing, fulfilling sexual intimacy, I still really struggle to *feel* that in my heart.

    And Satan knows that. He wins when consistent–and biblical–sexual intimacy becomes an impossible dream rather than a satisfying reality.

  3. CLARE
    March 26, 2014

    This is a beautiful post – and refreshing to read about sexual desire in a positive light! I’m interested in hearing more about what this means for single people. I am single, in my 30’s, and haven’t been married/not sexually active….but I still have a libido, and think about sex often. I also believe that God intended sex to happen within a marriage. How does the food/water/sleep comparison apply to single people like me? If this sexual appetite is valid & appropriate, and has as much importance as my hunger/thirst/tired desires – then is it just as relevant for me to satisfy my desires for pleasure and release? I wouldn’t stop eating or drinking or sleeping if I don’t have a refrigerator or a bed. I’m just trying to wrap my mind about how God would want me to honor and enjoy satisfying all of my needs, when my life currently does not include a husband.

    • Stanley
      March 26, 2014

      “So why do we waste time and energy analyzing, justifying, fretting, or feeling guilty over our sexual needs and desires? Seems silly, doesn’t it?”
      There seems to be a big gap left as most people get married later in life. Men generally reach their peek in their early 20’s and most will have to cope for several years before getting married! Woman tend to reach their peak in their 40’s so it is more likely for them to be married by then.
      Frequency of need varies from person to person. For a boy, the hardest time is generally in the early years after puberty – when the “need” is most intense and the “maturity” not yet there to help put things in perspective. The urges can be repressed to some extent, but not completely – at least not for a young man.

      So Clair, I am sorry there is no easy answer. The usually approach taken by Christians is to “sin and then ask for forgiveness” or, better yet, stray while you are young and the urges strong, then convert (born again) when older and the urges are easier to control. Neither of these seem particularly good to me. Another option sometimes used is to marry young – but that requires that you meet the right person early and that is not something you can control.
      The only advice I can offer is pray and take comfort in the knowledge that you are not alone.

    • Christine C.
      March 28, 2014

      Honestly (and I know others might disagree with me on this), you always have the option to masturbate. It’s certainly possible to do it without inappropriate fantasies, and since it’s not ever mentioned in the Bible, I don’t know why so many Christians think it’s sinful.

  4. Chelsea
    March 26, 2014

    I think we have to acknowledge as well tho that people can go without sex. We need food but we don’t necessarily need sex in the same way. I am probably putting out a bad vibe here but I know that I can go without sex for a lot longer than my hubby. That is the way men and women were wired differently. I am thankful when I feel the urge but I come from the mindset that Sheila talked about in the Good Girls Guide, where sex was taboo and bad and you spelled the word out rather than say it. 11 years of marriage later and yes I have overcome a lot of that but I still struggle. (Sex was sexy cuz it was taboo while we were dating. My pastor married us and we said I do and there was no magical change except it was allowed, not taboo. That took some fixing too.) so I still struggle to think about sex during the day and want my hubby at the end of the day. Your book was so helpful Sheila and for that I thank you a lot! But I am still leaning to think about it during the day and not feel like it is a bad thing to do. It’s so sad that the world has turned it into such a dirty thing. I want to feel sexy but not dirty. So we have replaced ‘sexy’ with ‘sassy’ and that has helped. It doesn’t have the same negative associations for me. But all that said, thank you for this post. I am learning every day and I am so thankful for this blog and for all you ladies do!

  5. Becca
    March 26, 2014

    I enjoyed this post. I seem to have a higher craving for sex than my husband does (although I don’t work 10 hours a day in the cold, heat, rain, snow, whatever weather either). Anyhow, sometimes I feel like an oversexed freak, especially when I read about how many women wish they could just not have sex. I am happy to read that sexual desire is normal and okay within a marriage. I am blessed that my desire is very much for my husband and him alone. Thank you for the post, it was very encouraging!

  6. Beth
    March 26, 2014

    Well done, Shannon! I can’t wait to get your latest book. I also can’t believe how quickly you write them. It was just last September that I met you {bearing tea!} at AACC conference where you were signing copies of Fantasy Fallacy! God certainly has blessed you and in that we are blessed as well! And thanks so much to you, Sheila, for sharing Shannon’s wisdom with us today! It was a treat!
    Beth recently posted…Pathway to ReconciliationMy Profile

  7. Larry B of larrysmusings.com
    March 27, 2014

    A beautiful and helpful message that Shannon shares with us. This needs to be widely read. Thank you Shannon.
    Larry B of larrysmusings.com recently posted…the 2 sides of the coin of justice and the lack of justice in this worldMy Profile

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