How Married Couples Can Help Single Moms

Today Latoya Edwards, homeschooling single mom and blogger, guest posts about how married couples can be a blessing to the single moms in their midst.

 

how married couples can help single moms
I learned a lot about marriage when mine started to fall apart.

It’s strange how that happens sometimes. God uses our difficult situations to teach us important lessons.  I was blessed to have some very loving and supportive friends in my life during that hard time. I know that not everyone has that when going through a divorce.  People often ask me how they can best help/support single moms like me. Today I want to share four ways that married couples can be a blessing to single parents and those whose marriage may be in crisis.

1. Prayer

Prayer is one thing that you can never have too much of. There were many people praying for me as I walked the difficult path of divorce for 3.5 years. And there have been even more praying for me since.  If you know of a family that is in crisis or a single mom or dad pray for them. Pray for healing and restoration for all involved. Pray for peace in the home and comfort for the children.  If you have the chance to ask the family for specific prayer needs great! And don’t forget to pray about other ways to be a blessing.

2. Be a Mentor

One of the things that was sorely lacking in my marriage was a godly example of what a husband and wife were called to do. No one sat us down to walk us through the God required of each of us in our marriage. And no one was there to show us the godly way to resolve our issues.  If you know a newly married couple or a couple that is having some trouble consider mentoring them. Walk with them on the journey of marriage.

3. Continue to be a Source of Support

I can’t speak for single dads but as a single mom I need lots of help and support. There’s no man in my home or someone that is around on a consistent basis to be a role model for my boys.  There are things that I struggle with because I’m a woman and don’t truly understand all the inner workings of boyhood.  I have a friend that has adopted my little family. She and her husband pray for us regularly. They have us over for dinner and her husbands takes some time to pour into my boys spiritually.  There are no words that can express how much that blesses me.  Divorce is hard and the hard part isn’t over when the judge signs off on the final judgment.  Single parents need all the support we can get.

4. Be an Example

Invite a single mom and her children over for dinner. There are many reasons for this. You give her a night off of kitchen duty. You also have a chance to see if there are any needs that you can minister to. But another thing that is really important (and often overlooked) is that you have the opportunity to show the children in that family what  God intended a family to look like.

There are all those scary statistics about children (especially boys) raised by single moms.

Want to help with those numbers?

  • Be an example.
  • Give those children a chance to see a husband loving and supporting his wife and children.
  • Show them a wife serving her family joyfully.
  • Let them see children, who respect and obey their parents.

It makes a difference!

When my boys started asking me what a man was supposed to do, it was hard for me to answer. I couldn’t point them to their father at the time because he was not walking with God. But I was able to point to my friend’s husband and say, “You see how hard Mr. X works? He is providing for his family and he always makes sure to do fun stuff with his children even when he is tired.”

There are many other ways to for married couples to be a blessing to single parents. What would you add to the list?

Latoya EdwardsLaToya Edwards is a single, homeschooling mama of two boys. She writes about her journey as a single parent, homeschooler, special needs parent and more at  www.LaToyaEdwards.net.

Comments

  1. Butterflywings says:

    love it!

  2. Meredith says:

    This is God’s timing for me! My husband and I are in the process of moving a young man into our home since he cannot live with his mom. He is the new parent of a baby girl , born to his ex-girlfriend. I was moments ago saying that I hope that being in a house with a dad who expects him to step up and learn how to be a father can be the best thing we can do for him, for his daughter, and for his daughter’s mom.

  3. [Editor's note: At one point there was a long thread that started here and that I believed hijacked the post and would be hurtful to many people who ended up here, especially single moms.

    I asked on my Facebook Page whether I should leave the thread or not, and the majority told me to delete it because it gave the impression that the church would judge single moms and would not be a welcoming place to them. That is not my intention, my experience, or my conviction of what the church should be, and so I decided that while we had time to debate the issue on the day the post published, it would not be useful or helpful to let those comments stand.

    Everyone had their say, and the discussion was polite, but I don't want single moms to EVER come to my blog and feel that God condemns them. No matter our place in life, right here, right now, God wants to meet you where you are at. And for the rest of us: our job is to introduce people to Jesus, introduce them to repentance, grace, and forgiveness.]

    • Anonymous says:

      I would like to first take a moment to respond to Allison. I happily married a preacher when I was nineteen with the naïve expectation that everything would be a perfect fairytale. After discovering his addiction to pornography, I drug him to marriage counseling where it was recommended that he attend a sexaholics anonymous group. Out of fear that someone might find out about his private sin, he chose not to go and instead promised to change. About six months later, I found the $600 phone bill where he was calling 900 numbers every morning after I would go to work but before he would take my children to daycare. I was afraid that my children would be scarred if they saw any of the porn he had been watching or saw him masturbating while talking on the phone, so I left. He promised to change, so I went back. After fighting for our marriage for another 3 1/2 years, I decided I couldn’t risk my children’s innocent eyes any longer, and I couldn’t expect my parents to put food on my table any longer (since I couldn’t afford the food due to all the money being spent on porn). I left for good. I was shunned, looked down upon, etc. I had left the “preacher”. I would like to say that I was the bigger person and didn’t say anything to people who spoke negatively about it, but being young and sinful myself, I tried to explain to them why I left and in doing so spoke negatively about my ex-husband so that I would have some support. I continued though to be shunned by the people who “loved God” and “judged sinners”. My hope would be that everyone would continue to “love the sinner” and “hate the sin”. It doesn’t matter what predicament put that woman in the position where she is raising children on her own. She needs to be shown God’s love. If I hadn’t found myself a network of people who loved me even though I was a divorcee, I would most likely have returned to my husband. Since that time, I have learned that I didn’t leave soon enough; my children had seen the porn and even been abused by him. I am so thankful that there were true Christians that looked past the sin of “divorce” and saw one of God’s beautiful creatures that needed to be shown His love.

  4. Okay, so I’m going to go out on a limb here and risk sounding like I don’t know what to say that sometimes I feel almost guilty for having a really happy marriage when I’m around friends who are still single or who have been divorced. I feel like I’m “showing off” what they don’t have and I don’t want to inspire envy or negative emotions in them. I think that it’s partially that feeling that would hold me back from inviting a single mom over for dinner.

    On the flip side, also feelings of inadequacy because my marriage isn’t picture-perfect in a lot of ways that we wouldn’t be able to mentor someone.

    I think these might be normal feelings, although this is the first time I’ve ever pinpointed them.
    Sarah @ Little Bus on the Prairie recently posted…The Move Part III (The Bittersweet Part)My Profile

    • Sarah a friend of mine said almost the exact same thing you wrote to me when my husband first left. She wanted to help but didn’t want to “rub it in my face” that her marriage was good when I was going through this hard time.

      There may be situations and times where a single mom isn’t opening to your help and that just may be because there’s some healing that needs to take place. I spent a lot of time not asking for help out of pride. In time, God healed my hurt and I was able to see that people just wanted a chance to be there for us and love on us.
      LaToya Edwards recently posted…Becoming a Single MomMy Profile

    • Butterflywings says:

      Please don’t feel that way Sarah. Most people who have gone through the hell of a divorce, or even those who have made mistakes and become a single parent, just desperately want a friend to be there for them. It’s not rubbing it in people’s face – it’s providing hope and inspiration that there are good men and good marriages out there.

  5. LaToya, EXCELLENT article! Parenting in the best of times is the hardest job around. Parenting when you are all alone (for whatever reason), with no one by your side to give you help, support and direction, is beyond my scope of understanding.

    We are a body and when one member is hurting, we ALL are hurting! We need to bear one another’s burdens and give strength wherever the need is. Thank you for these very practical suggestions on how we can love one another and help single parents into the victorious raising of her children!
    Kate @ Teaching What Is Good recently posted…Attributes of God – CreativeMy Profile

  6. Thanks for this. I am almost (10 days) from the finalization of my divorce. My husband told me when I was 7 months pregnant with our second child that he didn’t love me anymore and wanted to leave. When that precious baby boy was 6 months old, his father filed a separation agreement (after 8 long months of trying me trying everything under the sun to keep my marriage from ending, including Christian couple’s counseling that he refused to attend after 1 session). He also filed for the divorce last month.
    Single motherhood is hard, especially when you work full-time and have little kids. Many of my church family and couple friends have “left” me, mainly because I think they don’t exactly know what to do to help, so they just do nothing. The suggestions you’ve listed hit the nail on the head.

    • Samantha, I’m so sorry that you’re walking through this! I just want to assure you that my mother walked through something very similar, but God still had grace on our family and we both did very well. God can carry you and your kids, too!

      And I do hope that you find a church family that can be a real community to you.

      Blessings,
      Sheila.

  7. LaToya, this is such an excellent article. Thank you for sharing all these ways marrieds can stand with single mums/dads. My two sisters are single mums..I know (as their sister) how tough it gets and what community and support means to them and the kids. great thoughts here.
    Ngina Otiende recently posted…102 Marriage & Love Quotes To Inspire Your MarriageMy Profile

  8. Sheila HELP!!! Ok, so Allison is saying women should be kicked out of the church if they divorce? I was very young when I met my 1st husband who was almost 3 decades older than me. I grew up without my father and when I met my 1st husband I was so desperate for the love of a man that I stayed in a relationship I did not want to be in. I truly believed no one else would possibly want me so “I better stay with this person”. We got married after living together for 4 years (obviously I was NOT walking with the Lord at the time, although I had head knowledge of Jesus). Once married, he completely stopped all intimacy with me, and I stayed for 2 years. I then committed adultery with another man. Yes, that was very wrong. We ended up getting a divorce. I then met my current husband (and obviously remarried). I am now walking with the Lord and seeking Him everyday. I am sorry I ever married my 1st husband, I literally wanted to run on the day of my 1st wedding, but was too afraid of being alone & didn’t want to leave my ex alone. I have asked for forgiveness for my divorce at least 100 times. So I guess what I’m asking is, if I’m remarried am I in a constant state of adultery? Does that mean the Lord sees me as a constant sinner since I remarried?
    Worried

    • Worried, I so feel for you. I don’t think I can answer this question doctrinally; I’m not a scholar, and I’ve seen great arguments on both sides. I will say, though, that God sees you where you are right now, and I believe that what He wants you to do right now is to follow Him and love your husband wholeheartedly. You cannot change what you did in the past. There just is no way to turn back the clock. And so I think God wants you to live righteously where you are right now, and that is married.

      I do think it’s such a tough thing, because God does take marriage vows seriously. But He is also a God of grace, and I certainly don’t think He wants people leaving good marriages where they are serving Him together. The truth is that life is just really, really messy. God sees the heart, and I do believe that He is pleased when we turn our lives around and start deciding to follow Him where we are right now.

      When I was in Kenya, the pastors were dealing with even more difficult questions. What happens when a polygamist comes to know Christ? Should he divorce all of his subsequent wives and thus leave the children high and dry? Life is messy, but God reaches down into our mess.

    • Worried,
      God is a God of mercy and love and forgiveness. Sometimes our mistakes in life are to far in the rearview mirror to fix and we have to trust in His grace and He is more than able.. Be obedient to Him going forward is all He asks.

  9. [Editor's note: I deleted the comments that hijacked this post. I agree with the assessment below that the comments took away from the heart of the post.]

    Wow. It is amazing how some posts can be skewed by comments and the discussion diverted. I’m not condemning anybody, just making an observation. I have no doubt some value will come out of the debate generated, but the heart of her post seemed to get overwhelmed for a bit.

    I really liked Sarah@LBOTP”s observation about feeling like friends might find it difficult to accept her sympathy and help since her own marriage seemed to be without trouble, while she felt inadequate to mentor because of her less than perfect marriage. Her sensitivity makes her sound like someone who should be mentoring. Be bold, Sarah. This may be a calling and purpose.
    Dan recently posted…“Look away! I’m hideous.”: Part 4My Profile

  10. As a 20+ year paralegal, I am going to be put my two cents in about the divorce “statistics” stated above. I have represented both men and women in thousands of divorce cases.

    Men tend to file for divorce a lot more quickly than women. Women will usually let things build up to a breaking point before calling it quits. They are much more tolerant, even about things like abuse and infidelity, giving men many “chances”. Men will jump the gun about something simple and file only to change their mind down the road. (i.e. I once filed a divorce for a man because his wife wouldn’t wash his car.)

    Despite the “statistics”, in the majority of the cases I handled, the divorce occurred simply because BOTH parties had given up.

    I have seen quite a few cases where women (and sometimes the children), are abused beyond what some of us could even imagine. As far as adultery, sorry to say, men definitely cheat more than women. Not that women don’t cheat, because they do. Remember, the only way to get accurate statistics is with accurate reporting. In most divorce cases, a party will not allege adultery but merely state “irreconcilable differences”. Adultery claims are only important in cases where alimony is concerned. Sadly, courts don’t really care who is “at fault”, because in a divorce proceeding it really doesn’t matter.

    It doesn’t matter who actually “files” the divorce. Men are more inclined to just leave and not worry about the legal aspects of the situation, where women feel a need to protect their children and property; and are more likely to file because they need financial support.

    I am not throwing men under the bus here but stating what I have experienced firsthand. There are many, many GREAT men out there. In any case, attacking single parents is mean-spirited. Every situation is different.

  11. Denise Porter says:

    I am divorced and remarried and yes, I was kicked out of the church — not for divorcing but for getting involved with someone else before the divorce was finalized. While that was wrong on my part, I wasn’t getting a lot of support from the congregation or other couples and the man I became involved with (and later married) came offering support — emotional, financial and otherwise.

    I don’t know about the scriptural thing – am I in a constant state of adultery? I hope not! My ex was physically violent and had bipolar. I shouldn’t have stayed as long as I did and only left when the abuse started branching out towards the children.

    Personally, I think about single Mums differently when they have one kid outside of marriage or if they have two or three or more by different fathers. Regardless, others who have commented are right — those children need to be supported no matter how they came to be conceived.

    I think Jesus would have erred on the side of being too kind and loving and supportive to the single Mum and kids in our lives and congregations — rather than be judgmental and not helping them. No one truly knows what goes on behind closed doors. A marriage/family may look picture perfect from the outside but can be really messed up like the comment above from the former preacher’s wife who had no idea what was happening with the porn and then didn’t know what to do to try to stop it – when she discovered it. My Aunt had a similar experience — her husband was living a double life — happily married father and grandpa on the surface but secretly going out and cross dressing and seeking other extra marital sexual encounters with men. They got divorced and she didn’t want to say why — many thought they were a good Christian family and couldn’t understand the need for the separation and divorce. Only much later did the truth come out.

    As a divorcee, I think the church needs to quit trying to figure out why we are divorced or single — and rather just wrap their loving arms around the broken, hurting people who are doing through these difficult times and love them back to health and wholeness. That’s what Jesus would do, I am sure of it!

    • ButterflyWings says:

      Hi Denise. Just letting you know you are not alone. I separated (not divorced – for me it was only supposed to be temporarily until he got help) because my first husband violently attacked our daughter. The adultery (including at least 3 long term mistresses and many one night stands with both men and women – and that’s just what I found out about) I could have got past, even him giving me a potentially fatal STD and then lying about it being an STD (and despite being highly educated, the one thing I didn’t know was cervical cancer is only caused by an STD) I could have got past, but attacking a 5 year old was something I could not have in our house. For years I prayed he would get help for it but instead he married one of the two mistresses he was “engaged” to before we even separated (he was “engaged” several times before I even knew he was cheating).

      I had little support from my church family – some behind my back leaving messages for me to say if I was going to come to church to come without my daughter or don’t come at all (because she has mild aspergers and had trouble sitting still but was not bothering any one by it) – but what was worse was the many years that many of the people in my old church actually set out to split up our marriage – not because of this violence or cheating (they didn’t care about the violence and didn’t know about the cheating) but simply because he used drugs on occasion (they didn’t even know how bad his addiction was). Yes drug use is a bad thing and can be soul destroying, but I don’t think it remotely justified them trying to split up our marriage. It’s not like they did it for my sake either – they just didn’t want a drug user in their church.

      Can I ask not to see people who have children to two (or more) fathers so harshly though? I have two children to two different fathers – yet I have never had sex outside of marriage. Both my children were conceived in marriage and biblically I had the grounds many times over to get a divorce (and I wasn’t even the one to ask for it – my first husband demanded it to marry one of his mistresses). There are many women in either my situation or the situation where there first husbands have passed away, who have gone on to remarry and have more children. They have not done a thing wrong to have children to two different fathers.

      I do think there is a place to know why someone is divorced – having been hit on by many divorced men, the overwhelming majority of them I would not date when I was single because their attitude towards marriage and divorce is wrong. But why a person is divorced shouldn’t matter when it comes to supporting divorcees and their children. Jesus loved sinners and welcomed them in and only once they turned to Him did He say go and sin no more. We have to build the relationships with sinners, help them find Jesus before we have any right to address their sin.

      • ButterflyWings says:

        I should add after reading other comments, that it is only one church that treated me like this. I have been a member of three churches since (due to moving) and they have been amazingly supportive of me when I was a single mother. Welcomed both me and my daughter with open arms. And even my first church offered practical support after I got divorce even if we got a lot of judgment.

  12. Lindsey Carl says:

    What’s funny is I was just thinking about this tonight! I’m a “temporary single mom” as I like to call myself, along with countless other brave women whose husbands are deployed and sacrificing precious time with their families for our freedom. It’s hard, really hard quite frankly. I have a 2 year old little boy and 3 year old little girl who get to see Daddy for a whoe 10 minutes a day. He doesn’t get to discipline them, teach them, or train them while he’s gone, but what has been beautiful during this hard season are the many men who have helped to step up and spend time with my kiddos! I promise it is not easy, but it is often overwhelming and exhausting doing this parenting thing alone, but I am so grateful for those who continue to pour into and love on my family!
    Being a single mom, doesn’t have to mean she’s divorced!

    • ButterflyWings says:

      Lindsey I have the utmost respect for military mums like yourself but it’s not the same as being a single mum. You have to live with terrible stress like having a husband who puts his life in danger, but it’s a different set of stressors that single mums face. You have a partner who loves you and the kids. You don’t have to go through the pain of betrayal that happens with divorce, knowing the person you have your life to does not love you and never did. You don’t have to worry about custody battles and having your children bounced between two homes. You don’t have to worry about your husband introducing your kids to other women and demanding they call this woman “mum” (even after this woman has threatened to beat them and worse) or what kind of women these women are (in my ex’s case a violent, convicted drug user, known child abuser and officially diagnosed sociopath). You don’t have to go out and get a job because your ex refuses to pay even a cent of child support for years and then only pays the minimum ever since (currently at $7 a week here) and if (God forbid) anything happens to your husband, you will have financial and practical support for you and your kids.

      I know you go through all the overwhelming tasks of being the only parent in the house, but that’s not what actual single mums struggle with most – it’s the having to go to work to feed the kids, many times going hungry themselves because there is no money to feed yourself and the kids, being forced to hand kids over in joint custody so at best, going without your kids some of the time, and at worst knowing you’re handing your kids over to violent abusers but knowing if you don’t, the police will forcibly take them and hand them over and the court will give your ex more time with the kids as punishment and you face charges for parental kidnapping.

      I know families like yours need and deserve support and that you and your husband are making huge sacrifices for the safety of others, but it’s a very different situation. And I am yet to meet anyone who judges military mums the same way people judge single mums – in fact military mums are seen as fantastic people while single mums are attacked constantly and seen as terrible people no matter how they ended up in their situation.

      My best friend was a military mum for many years, so I know how tough they do it, but the difference in support she received from the same people who actively made the single mums in our church and community absolutely stunned me.

  13. [Editor's note: I have deleted the comments that this woman referred to because they did not present the church as a safe place to go to for single moms, and I felt that this was very hurtful and not the message I wanted to convey on my blog. I'm sorry for the hurt caused.]

    As a woman who’s husband walked out on his family over a year ago, I am now living the life of a divorced single mom. The church should be a safe place for me to find strength and support in raising my children as Godly men and helping me get through a nightmare that I never imagined living. Instead the Allison attitude makes the church a place of judgement and pain. I have enough of both, thank you.

    Our father told us to love Him with all of our heart and soul and to love our neighbor as ourselves. These are the greatest of all commands. He did not call us to sit in a posture of judgement reserving love for those that we deem worthy. Not one of us deserves the gift he gave us. Not one. So the next time you sit in judgement of a single mom I challenge you to consider that God knows her heart and he called us to love all people. Not just the ones that pass our test.

  14. I too am a single mom (for about the last two years now). What I find most challenging is how others either at work or in my extended family or even in my church family seem to lack understanding when it comes to the logistical challenges being a single parent creates. Sometimes this is also evident in other areas when we are “our and about”. Think about childcare issues for music rehearsals at church, finding and saving seats at an event or a busy restaurant when one (or both of you) have to use the restroom, or having to leave work early every time your child is sick at school and you’re the only responsible adult who can come pick them up. There are also the emotional challenges-days when the little guy is just charged up and everything is an issue. Or days when you’ve had a doosey of a work-day and your emotions seem to leak out on a kid who didn’t asked for it. It seems at times I’ve been more disappointed in others when they have dismissed the situations that make life as a single parent taxing. Luckily, I feel I am finding a voice for myself, asking for people to help me more often, relying on the strength of The Lord to help me stay collected. Even asking strangers to hold our seats so we can take a quick trip to the potty. But I think single parents would appreciate it (and also feel some of Christ’s love in action) if we could get a hand sometimes, and perhaps without having to ask for it. If you know a single parent, and you have resources or time or ability, reach out to them. Tell them they’re doing a good job, help them when they seem to need it and love them through their season.

    • Anonymous says:

      This is so true! One of the most difficult things for me is that I am unable to attend any of the women’s functions at church. The other women all have the dad at home who can care for the children while they attend the women’s function. I do not have that option. I don’t have any family around, and I use my babysitters when my daughter has surgery every 3 months, etc, and, therefore, don’t want to ask them to watch my kids while I go to a women’s dinner or whatever. It would be nice if other families in the church would offer to keep the single moms’ children when there are ladies’ functions.

      • ButterflyWings says:

        Anonymous that’s what I always used to wish for too. As great as some of the churches I’ve been to where, none of them offered that.

  15. I think it’s awesome that some people are willing to mentor others who need it. Especially, when they don’t know them or aren’t related. I wish there was more options for mentors in my area. I’m a 25 year old college student, and have been a Certified Nursing Assistant for over 7 years. On the outside I look like the average person my age, but I’m not. I am also the single mother of two beautiful boys and they are my world. Even that is somewhat normal these days, but most people I have come in contact with has no clue of how abnormal I feel. I’m the youngest of 7 children that comes from a pretty dysfunctional family. I didn’t have the best childhood and I never had a sense of security. After my toddler years I never ever felt that I was nurtured or even felt important. Growing up my siblings were very mean and selfish, and I almost never felt like I belonged. My sibling closest in age to me is 4 years older and my oldest sibling is about 15 years older than I am. My parents had me when they were in their 30’s, neither of them graduated high school, and my older siblings started having babies in their teens. My parents were always working to make ends meet I never had a close relationship with them because they were not involved. They also lived unhealthy lifestyles, and abused alcohol on a very regular basis. I hated seeing my parents drunk, it was like a different side of them, lots of fighting, arguing, and just embarrassment. I kind of got used to it over the years but I never thought it was acceptable. After years and years of this dysfunction, things somewhat got better. There was a little less fighting but lots of stress as my siblings never did anything with their lives and had many children which my parents were now helping financially raise, even though I was the only child of theirs under the age of 18. As I started to feel there was a glimpse of hope of my parents changing for the better I was completely caught off guard with what happened next. At the age of 17, during a time that I was scrambling trying to fill out college applications and gearing up for my high school graduation, one Saturday morning my mom was discovered unresponsive. After going to the hospital, it was discovered that she had a stroke in her sleep, and passed away three days later, the day before my high school graduation. Just a few months later, my father was diagnosed with cancer. After over a year and a half of treatment, and surgery to remove the tumor, things were looking up, until he started to refuse treatments and passed away, less than two years after my mom. These series of events were very traumatizing to me. I held off on college because I wasn’t emotionally ready, I stayed to help financially and sometimes physically care for my dad when he was sick, then he just gives up. I was only 18 and both of my parents are gone. Now, I’m 25 and I still find myself longing to have that bond that I never had with my parents. I’m fearful that this will affect me for the rest of my life. I feel like I have this huge void. All of my grandparents were deceased by the time I was born except for one, my paternal grandfather, he was a fairly well off and uneducated man who disowned his kids to make his new wife happy. I saw this man every weekend and had no idea he was my grandfather because his wife wouldn’t allow him to be involved in our lives. I also feel I’m a great mother and others do as well, but I have never seen how a healthy family unit function. I feel like I’ve not been properly guided and have no positive examples to refer to, which gives me anxiety. I recently got into a program that matched me with a mentor mom and I think it’s a good program but my mentors example of getting to know each other is meeting once a month for an hour at the mall. I’ve been matched with her almost 7 months, we’ve seen each other only three times, and I really don’t know her on a personal level. As someone being mentored my needs and wants from the program isn’t met. I’d like to do regular things like healthy cooking, doing some light exercise, crafts, activities that would help us bond and also some spiritual connecting. I don’t know what to do about this, she’s a great person but there just isn’t much depth to the relationship. There aren’t many options for me, not around here anyway.

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