Wifey Wednesday: 5 Ways to Let Him Know You Enjoy Sex

Christian Marriage Advice
It’s Wednesday, the day when we talk marriage!  Today guest poster J of Hot, Holy and Humorous shares 5 great tips on communicating intimately about our enjoyment in the bedroom. J’s book, The Sex Savvy Wife, is part of my Valentine’s Day Bundle! (4 ebooks, $10)

5 Ways to Let Him Know You Enjoy SexOne of the aspects I adore about the Song of Solomon, the one biblical book devoted to marital intimacy, is how the wife communicates her own enjoyment of sex with her husband. Yes, she makes love to meet his needs and desires, but she also finds pleasure in the experience. And then, she goes a step further and shares with her husband her appreciation of their sexual intimacy.

“How handsome you are, my beloved!
Oh, how charming!
And our bed is verdant.”
Song of Solomon 1:16

How can we wives lovingly communicate our enjoyment of marital lovemaking?

Here are five ways to let him know you enjoy the sex.

1. Say yes.

One sure way to let your husband know you don’t desire and enjoy sex is to say “no” often. Of course, the opposite is true: Say “yes” often, and he’ll get the message that you see sex as a priority for your marriage. But don’t merely be available; get engaged. Say “yes!” to the whole experience.

Show up to the marriage bed as a fully participating lover. If you give your physical intimacy more attention and focus, you’ll likely find yourself enjoying sex more and more.

2. Move your body.

Lean into the lovemaking. When you have sex with your husband, touch and caress him. Kiss his lips and his body. Rub against him with your body. Tilt your hips toward him. Move in rhythm with his thrusting.

Your movement will likely increase your own arousal. Moreover, when you “get into it,” you convey to your husband that you’re fully involved in what’s happening with your bodies. It’s like the difference between a man dancing and dragging his partner across the floor, and the both of you fully enjoying the “mattress mambo.”

3. Make some noise.

No matter how focused your husband is on other things, he can probably hear you throughout the sexual encounter. So let your voice convey when you are feeling pleasure.

Noise can be anything from low moaning to heavy breathing to unbridled screaming—whatever fits the moment, your comfort zone, and the distance from your bedroom to the children’s bedroom. But don’t worry so much about sounding weird or being overheard. Let loose a little and make some bedroom noise.

4. Initiate.

Show him you like sex by outright asking for it! Most husbands revel in that moment when a wife overtly suggests sex. Your initiation can take the form of sexy flirting, setting a romantic scene and donning special lingerie, requesting sex at a particular time and place, or simply straddling your husband in bed and saying, “Let’s do it!”

But make it a priority to initiate, at least now and then. Express to your husband that sex is so wonderful you’re eager to make love again.

5. Just tell him you like it—but not subtly.

We wives are often brought up to use courtesy and subtlety as ways to communicate in a ladylike fashion. That’s all well and good, ladies, but most men don’t read social cues and body language as well as we do. They don’t take hints. So simply say it—as candidly as you can. It can be as straightforward as “You’re an amazing lover,” as meaningful as “I adore feeling like one flesh when we make love,” or as playful as “Honey, you put the wow in bow-chicka-bow-wow!” But get the point across to your husband that sex is important and satisfying.

Those are small ways to let your husband know that you enjoy making love.

But if you’re saying to yourself, “I don’t currently enjoy sex all that much,” try these five tips anyway. Oftentimes, they will likely increase your enjoyment of sexual intimacy in your marriage. And considering picking up a copy of Sheila’s excellent book, 31 Days to Great Sex, or my own, Sex Savvy: A Lovemaking Guide for Christian Wives, for more tips.

HHH-LogoSexSavvyEbook-cover-lower-dpi

J. Parker is the author of Sex Savvy: A Lovemaking Guide for Christian Wives and writes the Hot, Holy & Humorous blog, where she uses a biblical perspective and a blunt sense of humor to foster Christian sexuality in marriage.

 

Remember, you can get The Sex Savvy Wife AND 31 Days to Great Sex in the Valentine’s Day bundle for just $10–along with The Deck of Dares and the Rekindling Romance Toolkit. But only until Friday!

Sexy Valentines Day Bundle Small

Don’t forget to Link up the URL of a marriage post to today’s Wifey Wednesday, and get some traffic back to your blog!



31 Days to Great Sex
31 Days to Great Sex is here (only $4.99!) It's the best $5 you'll ever spend on your marriage!

Learn to talk more, flirt more, and even explore more! You'll work on how to connect emotionally, spiritually, AND physically.

Find out more here.


Comments

  1. For valentines day I’ve been giving my hubby a gift each day with a note. Similar to a candy bar letter, but spread over the last 2 weeks. A lot of the notes have been about sex, and my hubby has loved it. It’s been a good way to let him know that I enjoy him. Examples: I like to ROLOver in bed with you. I like to SKOR with you.
    I like your other suggestions too. I need to do them more.

  2. And we husbands say, “Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes and Yes.”

  3. I love your #1 and the word Yes! Yes to initiating, yes to his overtures and if you are shy, saying, “Yes!” during lovemaking will brighten his day and let him know what he’s doing right. Great tips, J!

  4. It’s so important for us as wives to play a part in sex. It’s one way to say to our husbands, “I love you.” I think playing a major part in sex and enjoying it maintains a strong marriage bond. Thanks for your advice.
    Tiffany Godfrey recently posted…Marriage and Communication Series: #10 Anger and ResentmentMy Profile

  5. Jersey Girl says:

    Sadly there is no reason for saying yes when your spouse shows no interest in your pleasure.
    There is nothing worse than a husband who complains about lack of sex and then makes no effort for my enjoyment.

  6. KellyMiller says:

    I LOVE the candy bar idea! So creative. It’s often difficult for my husband and I because of our work schedules. I am a nurse and work 12 hour days, and he’s in management. However, we do make it work! Sheila, thank you for your inspiring blog and examples of how a Christian marriage should be.

  7. Don’t discount having sex 5 times in the same week as five ways to let him know you enjoy sex. Well…just sayin’. ;)
    Dan recently posted…Her Sex Is Broken and I Gotta Fix ItMy Profile

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Trackbacks

  1. […] post is linked up to Sheila Wray Gregoire’s Wifey Wednesday post on her To Love. Honor and Vacuum […]

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  3. […] hop on over to http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com for some sage advice on enjoying the intimate with your man – and letting him know […]

  4. […] are to become “one”. Not in a simple physical union (which don’t get me wrong, a healthy, intimate sex life is important in a marriage relationship) but being one in […]

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