Wifey Wednesday: “I Wanted To Marry A Man That Didn’t Fart”

Christian Marriage Advice

Every Wednesday we talk about marriage! Today, please welcome guest author, Jennifer Lanctot, who shares her thoughts on cherishing her quirky husband. And then feel free to link up your own marriage posts in the linky below.

marry a man quirks
At 15 years old I knew exactly what I wanted in a husband. Someone who would never tire of spending all of his waking moments with me. He would be interested in all of my hobbies and interests. We would always have things to talk about. Never disagree. He would never say anything hurtful, or rash. He would always look at me across the room, like I was an angel. And he would find a different way to tell me each day how gorgeous I was. We would sleep under the stars together and take long, midnight walks often. He would never smell bad. Oh, he would have endless energy after work days to go out and do something fun. We would share all the same interests! And he would never fart, or poop, for that matter. I knew my husband would probably do that, since all humans do, but wouldn’t that just be neat if he didn’t?!

I built up a fantasy. And looking at this list, not all the things are bad. But what was my heart intent? ME. I wanted to feel loved and fulfilled by this one man. Always.

Well, guess what? I married a wonderful, Godly man that cherishes and loves me deeply. But, as you could probably guess, he farts. And poops. Sometimes with the bathroom door open! Before I was married, I never envisioned waking up to morning breath, and a nice loud fart. But yes, every single morning when my husband is waking up, he farts. Okay, so you are probably wondering why I would care to share this with you. The answer is QUIRKS. Is your husband quirky? If so, (and I know for all of you the answer is probably and emphatic ‘Yes!’), do you cherish his quirkiness for who he is? Or do you sit back, all embarrassed, annoyed and frustrated because he is different you thought he would be?

Elijah and I couldn’t be more opposite. Truth is, there are only a few things we both enjoy.

I hate electronics (and I’m pretty sure they hate me!). He loves geeky things. I love gardening, he doesn’t. I like happy and uplifting music and movies. He prefers heavy, contemplative, and thought provoking. I detest quiet days without people, he loves them. I prefer my food messy, he likes his organized. I don’t like socks, he loves them. I talk on the phone, he doesn’t if he can help it. I am very emotional, he is extremely logical. I cry when I get stressed out, he laughs. I can eat almost anything, he is a texture freak. I’m addicted to sunshine, he prefers little to none at all!I like visual humor, he likes verbal. I care a TON about what people think of me, he doesn’t let it bother him at all. I will go, go, go, until I drop dead. He enjoys taking time to relax and enjoy his time off. I had always thought computer games were evil, he plays them. I like going to bed, he’s a night owl. I love cameras, he avoids them.  I could go on and on. When you looking at the surface, we really don’t have much in common. But we are committed to the same vision, and we are learning that opposites can work well together!

I don’t know what your husband does. Maybe he snorts when he laughs, or has a sense of humor you think is disgusting. Maybe he leaves his socks on the living room floor, or doesn’t put his dirty dish in the sink. Maybe he never finshes projects, or leaves his bath towel on the floor. But do these things really matter? These ‘quirks’ are not detrimental to his salvation, so give him a break.

It has been hard for me to enjoy and laugh at my husbands quirks. I had this perfect picture in my mind, and he just isn’t that! But, the Lord has been showing me that He loves me for who I am…even though I am the furthest thing from perfect. And I am commanded to love my husband in the same way. I am not supposed to look for him to fulfill my every need. That is what I am told to trust to the Lord, not to a man.

Women, I just want to give you a shove of encouragement: if your husband is quirky, EMBRACE it! Laugh at it, and learn to enjoy it, one day at a time. Even though it might drive you nuts, why should you let it? I guarantee that it will release so much tension and make your home life more peaceful just to let go. Accept the fact that he is a human, just like you. We are quirky and expect them to love us no matter what.

One morning I woke up, and when my husband farted, I laughed. Because I know that if I woke up tomorrow morning and he wasn’t there, I would miss that. Even though the quirks bug me sometimes, I know I would miss them if he were gone. This is a man that loves me, works hard, provides for me, cherishes my heart, and wants to lead me closer to my Saviour. Why let the little quirks keep me from loving him the way I should?!

So, what quirks does your spouse have that you are learning to embrace?  Share YOUR stories!  I cannot wait to read them! 

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My name is Jennifer Lanctot and I am 22 years old. I am a wife, mother, nanny, doula, and photographer, living in New Hampshire. I have been married for over two and a half years, have a  1 1/2 year old son, and am expecting baby #2 this Winter.

Ideally, I would like to someday be a stay-at-home Mom with several little minions running around. But we will see where the Lord takes that. :) My goal with my life is to encourage, inspire, and challenge others, as well as myself, to grow closer to their Maker. I hope that any writing or photography I do will motivate others to draw closer to our Lord and the ones we love. Every day we have is a gift, and we need to rejoice and be glad in it!

Thanks, Jennifer, for sharing your story! And now you all can share your stories, too. Just leave a comment, or link up your own marriage post in the linky below! And be sure to leave a link back here so that other people can see all these great marriage articles.



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Comments

  1. I love, love, love this blog post because it brings home a strong point: unconditional love and respect.

    Somethings we should learn to laugh at and let God deal with the rest!
    Tiffany Godfrey recently posted…Marriage and Communication Series: #6 Not Enough Time TogetherMy Profile

  2. My husband has a habit of making jokes or doing something silly and then looking to make sure I was watching him – I’ve always thought it was silly. However, I recently went to visit my family for a week (our first time apart for more than 1 night since we’ve been married) and I realised that I missed his ridiculous sense of humour and I even missed the elbow to the nose in the middle of the night! (He does that a lot!) It’s always good to have a reminder to cherish my husband even when he drives me nuts!
    Gemma B recently posted…A ‘Proverbs 31′ Wife?My Profile

  3. This is sooooo funny! I had to laugh, because my husband and I are opposite in so many ways as well. But we are both absolutely committed to each other, and love being together, and so we’re able to enjoy those differences.

    It’s also funny because I have 3 daughters, all of whom think bodily functions are gross. Well, I do too, but I guess we learn to live with it…and I know they will, too.

    Lisa
    Lisa recently posted…3 Barriers to a Child’s HeartMy Profile

  4. This is so funny Jennifer!

    When my husband and I met, I thought we had sooo much in common! And I imagined that it’s these things that we had in common that holds marriages together. It took a while to wade past the superficial top layers and by that time we were getting to know each other real good we were married! :)

    Funny how God re-educates us and re-defines these things! Our differences and quirks can make our marriages stronger, if we choose! Great thoughts!
    Ngina Otiende recently posted…Find (& Stick with) What Works for Your MarriageMy Profile

  5. My husband’s quarks I have come to accept and even appreciate. He is pretty careful when it comes to anything about cleanliness or germs. Like he wears flip flops in the hotels bc the floors might be dirty. He cuts chicken on a plate and then washes it right away so no bacteria gets anywhere. He does not place bags in the floor, etc. At first this was a very new way of thinking for me. Then, I realized changing the things I do like how I cut the chicken are very small changes yet it would make him feel a lot better about the situation. So his quarks have caused me to even change a bit!
    Cassie recently posted…Luau Party Surprise for Ryan’s 30th BirthdayMy Profile

  6. That’s hilarious!!! My husband spends a loooooong time getting ready in the morning, probably double what I do. I always have a hard time being patient with that. :) He hates it that I put size stickers from new clothes on the wall. Haha. What a weird habit, right? But I always did it in college, and when I was single. So now I do it as a joke. Haha. He loves it! ;)
    Corrie Anne recently posted…Wifey Wednesday: Life Is Not A Dress RehearsalMy Profile

  7. I once dated a guy who complained if I farted. He claimed that I should be able to control it and be able to not ever do it in his presence. But he could not tell me exactly how to accomplish this. After we broke up he got married to someone else. I wonder if she ever farts?

    P.S. If anyone knows the secret…please share!

    • I agree with your ex…I never pass gas in his presence and asked to return the courtesy. Even though he doesn’t like it, we both reserve that bodily function for when we are alone or in the bathroom. I’m not sure when or why I developed that quirk, but I’ve been that way for as long as I can remember.

  8. My husbands quirks are many! He takes his work pants off first thing when he comes home, and leaves them in the entryway. Leaves his socks on a pile next to the bed….the list goes on and on! But I am really learning to appreciate the quirks because we all have them!

  9. My husband makes up these silly songs and sings them repeatedly until even he is complaining about it; And he only does it when I am in the same room with him. I laugh and tell him I think his made-up songs are sweet

  10. Mrs. Right says:

    Ever since meeting my Mr. Right I’ve said that he has quirks. He wasn’t sure that was a good thing at first, but I knew that if I labeled the “weird” or “silly” things as quirks, then they wouldn’t bother me.
    He likes his tea brewed for 7 minutes; other people have laughed when they saw me timing it as I prepared his morning tea, but I love that I know how to fix it the way he likes it, even to how much honey and creamer he likes. Sure, he could do it himself, but it’s just a small thing that I can do to show I love him.
    He also hates to have food on his fingers or face. If I don’t have a napkin handy then he’ll use his pants. Now, this same man could be working arm-deep on an engine and would simply wipe his hands off on a rag as I hand him a sandwich, but there better be a napkin to keep the mayo from contaminating him! lol
    He’s not a fan of wet sloppy kisses, so I occasionally get a kick out of being a bit slobbery or just licking his face. He grimaces and almost laughs as he wipes it off, but he knows I only do it because I love him and it’s one of the few things I can do to bug him.
    Anyway, so much of what annoys us is simply a matter of perspective. If we choose to label the differences as “annoying” or “he doesn’t care about me” then we’re focused on ourselves, being negative and selfish. Instead call them “quirks” and learn to laugh over them, instead focusing on the relationship and staying positive.

  11. ButterflyWings says:

    One of the things I love about hubby is we mostly embrace our quirks, and each others. He used to be the one who wouldn’t fart around me (I did too, til we moved in together a few months after we got married and I couldn’t hold it in). But now we embrace it lol. He rolls his eyes but doesn’t mind too much and I outright giggle when he does. It definitely breaks any tensions.

  12. We like to say “celebrate” when we realize things about us that are differences. It helps, especially when we have friction in our relationship.

  13. LOL my hubby once farted when we were making love! We both burst out laughing. Opposites do attract…somehow I wonder if God designed it that way.

  14. Oh goodness Jennifer, I think we’re married to the same man! Seriously, they could be twins. Married 15 years to mine and he still farts in the morning, lol

  15. Heather Bettis says:

    Good stuff

  16. I to am married to an opposite and it seems sometimes we have nothing in common and it really bothers me more at times than at other times. One thing I am having a problem with now is the TV. I would welcome comments to help me with this. My husband loves movies action, not really bad movies most of them pg13 but of course some woman is always going to take her clothes off Hollywood just doesn’t ‘NOT’ do that anymore. In the past my last son was to young to watch,so I always had someone to go upstairs and watch TV with or do something else with. Now that he is older and loves movies too and,my other son has moved back home, I am the only one that refuses to watch movies. So it ousts me out all by myself. I usually go walking and then upstairs to the bedroom. I don’t know if this is a quirk or not but I despise movies. I just will not watch them. I am getting very upset about this because it is becoming a every Friday and Saturday night thing. I am to the point of when they start a movie I am going to leave the house(Walmart stays open 24 hours ya know). I have really prayed about this and seem to have no answers, anyone else have any suggestions? I have thought about trying to find someone to chat with online that doesn’t like movies either. I know this is dangerous territory and I am smarter than that but I have just had it! Yes I have told my husband this, he is very loving and good man but he just loves his tv! And movies!

    • Honestly, CJ, if this isn’t something you can change, you need to learn to live with it and accept it without bitterness. I know that’s hard, but being bitter won’t help your marriage and won’t make your husband stop. I’d say something like this to him: “I really need to feel connected with you, but I don’t like to watch movies. If you really want to watch movies with the boys, that’s perfectly fine. But can we decide on some other time during the week that’s just for you and me, when we do something fun together?” And then suggest something you’d both like–hiking, watching a football game, painting the house, whatever. It doesn’t matter what it is, just make sure that you and he get some time together. Then, when they watch movies, find a hobby to do yourself, like a craft or something. Enjoy the solitude.

      I know it’s tough, but you need to find a way to just say, “this is the way my husband is, and I’m going to rejoice and appreciate the many good things in him.”

      As for your sons, I’d just make sure that as soon as they’re able, they move out and become independent. :)

  17. Jessica Martin says:

    Jenny, You are a writer! Loved this and I feel almost famous for knowing you! After 8 years of marriage I am rocking to a new tune! I have learned no matter how close the laundry basket it the cloths won’t make it there, for some reason my coffee tastes better so I need to make it, and smelly is not a optional thing!

  18. This is hilarious! My hubby is a free-spirited extrovert & I am a nerdy introvert. Wow, now that’s opposite. However, we have learned to make it work. Because it really does. Where/when he’s lacking, I make up for it & vice-versa. We laugh about it and embrace it.

    My hubby has a gluten allergy. So you can imagine the odors that come from his rear. I can pretty much tolerate them. However, I do not like when he fa**s if we are being romantic. It’s gross & NOT the time for it.

    Funny post!

  19. I get quirks and we all have them but if my hubby dies before me I will NOT miss the farting.

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Trackbacks

  1. […] with Messy Marriage, To Love, Honor and Vacuum and Prowess and […]

  2. […] Sheila over at To Love, Honor and Vacuum had a guest post on Wednesday that I can totally relate to: “I Wanted a Man that Didn’t Fart.” […]

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