Wifey Wednesday: 25 Quick Ways to Show Your Husband Love

25 Quick Ways to Show Your Husband Love

It’s Wednesday, the day when we always talk marriage! I introduce a topic (today we’re talking about how to show your husband love), and then you all can chime in in the comments section or link up your own marriage post below.

When our son was terminally ill, a counselor we were seeing suggested that we each make a list of 20 things that the other person could do for us that would make us feel loved and special, just to keep our marriage close during a really difficult time.

In every marriage you need to find non-sexual ways of showing your spouse love–that you’re thinking about them and you care about them.

Show Your Spouse Love–The Rules

1. The things couldn’t be expensive

2. They couldn’t take more than 5 minutes.

3. They had to have nothing to do with sex.

We wrote up the lists together, exchanged them, and then committed to doing roughly two things on that list each day. I can’t tell you what a difference it made in our marriage! If your husband’s willing to do this, I recommend it wholeheartedly! But if he’s not, you can still make your own list of ways to show your husband love. Here are some to get you started:

Show Your Husband Love–The Ideas

  1. Praise him in front of the kids.
  2. Greet him at the door when he gets home–drop whatever you’re doing and go kiss him!
  3. Make him a coffee to take with him in the morning.
  4. Give  him a backrub.
  5. Brag about him to your friends when he can hear.
  6. Tell him one thing you admire about him in relation to his work–and try to make it a different thing every time you say it!
  7. Rub your fingers through his hair as you’re watching a movie.
  8. Lay out his clothes for him the night before.
  9. Make an appointment to get an oil change for the car.
  10. Sort the mail so he doesn’t have to.
  11. Put on lipstick and fix your hair 15 minutes before he’s expected home from work (or right before you arrive home from work!).
  12. Text him and tell him specifically what you love doing with him.
  13. Bring him a glass of water if he’s working out in the heat.
  14. Bring him a drink when he’s working at his desk.
  15. Ask him what he’d like for dinner–let him choose the menu at least once a week.
  16. Wear something you know he loves.
  17. Going out to pick up an ice cream/treat with the kids? Bring him one, too–even if you went out during the day when he was at work. Save it for him, with a note, “We were thinking of you!”
  18. Rub him dry when he gets out of the shower–and put some “manly” moisturizer cream on him, or some talcum powder. Towel dry hair for him, and tell him you just love how he smells. Granted, this one may be a little sexual. :)
  19. Read a bit of a book/funny story/newspaper to him while he takes a bath.
  20. Pray for him while you’re lying in bed–out loud. Reach out, put your arm on his, and say a sentence-or-two prayer.
  21. Walking by him? Reach out and touch him for a second!
  22. Rub his feet while you’re watching TV. (You can even get a cloth and wash his feet and put some cream on them, too).
  23. Ask him his advice on something–and then follow it (without challenging him!)
  24. Ask him to explain something about a hobby to you.
  25. Don’t just tell him you love him–tell him WHY you love him.

Start doing two or three of these things everyday, and you’ll be changing the dynamic in your marriage. You’ll be showering him with random acts of kindness, and that makes a difference. It says “I’m thinking about you.”

But one big caveat: we tend to experience love differently. As Gary Chapman said, there are five love languages: Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Acts of Service, and Gifts. Know your husband’s love language, because it makes a difference! We tend to want to express love in the same way that we experience it, but sometimes this can backfire.

I love backrubs. I really do. There’s nothing you can do to make me swoon more than rubbing my back, mostly because I have such horrendous posture. But my husband, when he’s thinking, likes to be left alone. So if I go over and rub his back, I’m annoying him. He loves it when he’s just relaxing; he doesn’t like it when he’s thinking. It’s just a little thing, but we can think we’re showing someone love when really we’re not. So we have to figure out how our spouse interprets kindness.

That’s why this exercise works best if you EACH make up your own list, and then exchange lists. Use my list of 25 things as a starting point, but remember: he may not appreciate all of these! Maybe he’d rather choose his own clothes. Maybe he’d rather that you left him alone while he’s showering. So don’t try these things and then get upset if he doesn’t react well. The point of the exercise isn’t to do as many things as possible for him; it’s to do the things that actually show your husband love–that actually speak his love language.

31DaysCover 110So ask him if he’s willing to sit down and write lists with you. Then exchange lists, and you’ll be amazed at what happens in your marriage!

Want a more sexual way to show your husband love? Don’t forget about my 31 Days to Great Sex! He’ll love it.

Christian Marriage Advice: 25 Quick Ways to Show Your Husband Love

Now, what advice do you have for us today? Link up your own marriage post in the linky below, or tell me in the comments other ways that perhaps I’ve forgotten of quick things to do to show your husband love!



Comments

  1. Most of these exist in our world but got a few new ideas. Thanks for this!
    Jennifer recently posted…Dare 1~ Expectations ~My Profile

  2. Lovely fun tips Sheila! I love them all. And also concur about love language. It reminds me of how I used to pick up and try to apply almost every tip I learned and how I got disappointed (and him irritated!) when it didn’t work ! :)
    It’s important to operate from that place wisdom/knowledge :)
    Great thoughts, as always.
    Ngina Otiende recently posted…11 Confessions of a Marriage & Growth Blogging WifeMy Profile

  3. I’m soooo looking forward to be able to do these with my future husband.
    Thanks for sharing :-)

  4. Love this! Bookmarking this one, for sure!

    (Ha ha – I’m pretty sure my husband would have a hard time thinking of 25 things that had nothing to do w/ sex. ;) )
    Megan G. recently posted…july 4thMy Profile

    • I just tried to work on my list, and I think my love language(s) have changed since I had kids and become a homemaker! I used to be Gifts and Quality Time, but almost everything I’m writing down is Acts of Service or Physical Touch. Interesting.
      Megan G. recently posted…july 4thMy Profile

  5. Anonymous says:

    I just wanted to say thank you for your writing and ministry. My husband and I are in the middle of a marriage crisis and your words of encouragement and direction have helped me immensely. We’ve been married 26 years, and I know God is going to restore our marriage, but it will be work for both of us. I just wanted to say thank you for the time you pour into your ministry and into lives that are changed because you are following God’s will. God bless you today.

  6. Hey sheila! This is A WONDERFUL article, but thought you might want to know about a grammatical error. In your top blue box, it says, “1. The things couldn’t expensive” and I think you probably want a “be” in there. Just looking out for you. Thanks for all your inspiration!
    aunie recently posted…Maxwelton BeachMy Profile

  7. I’ve noticed that my hubby really enjoys telling me about what’s going on at his work, even though some of it is technical and I don’t quite understand it. And now that I co-own and run a website, he enjoys talking “business” with me. He likes to share his ideas that might help my site, and he loves that I’m interested in what he has to say. I would have never thought that sharing our business info with each other would mean that much to him, but it does!

  8. I love this list because it doesn’t cost anything but thought and a bit of energy. With the list, though, comes the conviction that I am often lazy and selfish, and there’s no excuse not to “speak” love to my husband. Thanks for the reminder.

  9. Simple but great ideas!!! I’m missing my husband right now! We’re currently living apart cuz we’re in the process of migration right now. Gonna be with him in USA next month!!! 2 years of waiting is soon to be over! :)
    Mai Bateson recently posted…The 15 Best Aphrodisiac Recipes For Your Hubby & YouMy Profile

  10. Hi Sheila! Thank you for the great list. One of the things I do for my husband is I lay out a couple of options for clothes he can wear to work, and he picks the one he wants each day. It gives him the power of choice that way. He also know that he can go in the closet and pick something entirely different and I won’t be offended. Thank you for sharing this wonderful list. I look forward to putting into practice some of the ideas.
    Jolene recently posted…1,000 giftsMy Profile

    • Ha! I wrote a post about that once because I do the same thing, and then a whole bunch of commenters said that this was sexist. And why assume that I know better? So I kind of steer clear of that one now…I was amazed at how much negative reaction it got because it seems natural to me. :)

  11. Hello!!!! It look likes a big challenge to me, but I know I have to do it.

  12. I love this! I think it’s important to find non-sexual ways to show love (while not neglecting the sexual ways of course). It all connects! Thanks for posting your list, and encouraging us to make our own.

    Blessings,
    Nicole @ WKH
    Nicole recently posted…Saturday Rest: Greener GrassMy Profile

  13. Annonymous says:

    There are other things that we husbands just love that can be done in under 5 minutes…

  14. It’s actually a nice along with very helpful bit of information. I am glad that you just distributed this helpful data with us. Please continue being united states updated in this way. Appreciate spreading.

  15. I love theses ideas and can’t wait to start my own that will speak my husband’s love language! I am new to your site and can’t wait to link up! My post is also on Encouragement Cafe today. It doesn’t focus on marriage but talks about the beauty I miss out on in my marriage and our home if I fall into the comparison trap! It’s called I’ll Have What She’s Having.
    Michelle Axton Kelly recently posted…Fool’s Gold: 5 Ways To Dump Empty ComparisonsMy Profile

  16. Marriage of 41 years needs some spark.

  17. What if you already do some of these things and are still told that it doesn’t move him at all?

  18. josephine says:

    This is very good sheilla,i have realy enjoyed the list,thank you so much and may God bless you.
    .

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