It’s Wednesday, the day when we talk marriage! I introduce a topic, and then you all can comment or link up your own posts below!
Valentine’s Day. It’s thought of as a woman’s holiday. The guy is supposed to get the flowers and the chocolates and woo her. But let’s face it, ladies: our husbands deserve to be romanced, too!
Now, maybe you don’t really do Valentine’s Day. I’ve heard some people say, “it’s just a commercial holiday to get people to spend money”, and I totally agree. It is based on commercialism. But at the same time, our marriages can always stand a little more expressions of love, and taking the one day a year when you’re supposed to say “I love you” and actually putting a little effort into showing him that doesn’t seem outrageous to me. And it doesn’t have to cost money, either!
You can make a great dinner that he’ll love. You can make a list of all the things you love about him. You can give HIM a massage for a change!
So today I thought I’d share some big picture ideas for Valentine’s Day, and then ask you all to brainstorm with me and share in the comments what you are planning on doing to make your husband feel loved.
Let’s look at the different approaches:
1. The Masculine Approach
One woman read my column last week about how we women think that we’re the only ones who are romantic, but that’s often because we think HE should understand US, but we don’t bother to understand HIM. She took it to heart and answered in the comments that she bought her husband tickets to a hockey game for Valentine’s Day! She doesn’t like hockey, but she’ll go with him because she loves him.
I like that idea: getting him something that he’d love, and then going with him. Maybe you buy his and hers fishing poles. Or maybe just the ‘hers’ with a note promising to go with him (note: some guys actually like time on their own, so make sure you wouldn’t be intruding on his solitary time!).
To me, the key to Valentine’s Day is to buy something that will ENHANCE YOUR RELATIONSHIP, not just a gift. This isn’t Christmas. So buy something you can do together.
If money is an issue, why not plan a day together doing things he’d like, and then give him the itinerary? Maybe you pack a picnic lunch, and then you go hiking for the day. Maybe you plan to play tennis at one of the public tennis courts this spring. Try to think of something he’d actually like to do.
2. The Love Approach
Or, you could focus on showing him how much you love him. Make a list of “99 Things I Love About You”. Write out a prayer that you pray for him to become mighty in God.
Plan a treasure hunt throughout your house where you hide hearts, and on each you write something else you love about him. (I did this when we were dating!)
Make him an amazing dinner of all the foods he’d love, and tell him this is “his night”.
3. The Sex Approach
Or, you can always go for sex. That’s many men’s main request anyway. Buy some new lingerie, or, if you don’t want to spend money, give him an invitation to a lingerie fashion show after the kids are in bed, and show him what you already own but don’t wear very much.
Give him a timer all wrapped up with a bow, and tell him to set the timer for twenty minutes. In those twenty minutes he’s not allowed to move, but you’re going to make him feel wonderful.
Buy him the 31 Days to Great Sex –a book of challenges to work through together that will get you talking, flirting, and exploring.
So there are some ideas–some cost money, but others don’t have to. The main idea is to let him know: I love you. I think about you. I’m glad I’m married to you. I want you to feel special.
What else can you do? Let me know in the comments, and then other women reading this can figure out some ideas for their wives!
And husbands, if you’re reading this, one thing your wife would love is just coupons to sleep in on a Saturday, for a date night of her choice, to look after the kids one afternoon, etc. When I asked women on Facebook, what’s your favourite gift to receive?, that’s what they said! And I have some downloadable ones here.
Now, what advice do you have for us today? Or what are you planning for Valentine’s Day? Link up a marriage post in the linky below by pasting the URL. And remember to link back here so people can read other great marriage posts!