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'Questions?' photo (c) 2008, Valerie Everett - license: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/Every weekend I like to post a question someone sends in and let you readers have a go at it. This week’s question comes from a reader, who wants to grow closer with her husband:

Is it fair to have ask for and have expectations of our spouse (not referring to the obvious: monogamous, no abuse, love one another, etc.)

Is it fair to ask and then expect your husband to not to look at other women in your presence? My husband is so obvious when he is drooling and seriously cannot seem to stop himself. It has affected my self esteem and I’ve asked him to stop in my presence. We can be in conversation and he has to look away because there is an attractive women. Really?

How about asking/expecting him to share small affectionate acts toward you because you like/need it not because it is his style? I don’t want to keep asking for everything I need/want. It would feel so good to have it freely given. I’m just referring to 1 or 2 times each day.

What about expecting him to take time to call or text you at least 1 time each day to fill each other in? I always have to initiate and it gets old.

Is it fair to ask/expect him to ignore his phone (calls and texts) during dinner or while we are driving in the car together? These are places that I like to share conversation with him. I feel so unimportant when he is on the phone at these times.

I seem to set myself up for disappointment and yet I feel that I’m not asking for too much. When I ask for these things, he can deliver for a few days but that is it. These few things are really important to me and definitely affect how I end up communicating and feeling toward him. Please share thoughts !?!

What do you think? How can she effectively communicate and grow closer with her husband?

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