31 Days to Great Sex Is Here!

Want to make your marriage sizze? You’ve come to the right place for learning how to have great sex in marriage–and get those fireworks and that intimacy you’ve been longing for.

***(UPDATE Now in Paperback, too!)***

Do you yearn to feel truly intimate with your spouse? Do you wish that you enjoyed a sex life that was ALIVE, rather than one that was rather dull? Do you have this overwhelming feeling like you’re missing out on something–that God had so much more planned for your marriage, but you can’t quite figure out how to get there?

31 Days to Great Sex is for you!

Buy it in paperback
Buy it in .pdf form
(that you can read on a computer, ereader, or print out)
Buy it on Kindle
Buy on Nook

And until Valentine’s Day, 31 Days to Great Sex is part of an awesome bundle!

Sexy Valentine's Day Bundle

A year ago I finished my 29 Days to Great Sex series, leading up to the launch of The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex.

Remember the post about flirting with your husband?

16 Ways to Flirt with Your Husband

Or the one about the “Act of Marriage?”

Those posts were pinned a ton, and I’ve had so much traffic from them! And over and over again, people asked me, “when are you going to put this into a book?

I finally did. I expanded the series, took out the “time out” days, and changed it so that it’s geared for couples, not just talking to wives. And I know it will change your marriage.

Here’s what you get:

  • The first few days are devoted to seeing sex in a positive way, and talking through your baggage and insecurities.
  • Then we spend a few days on building emotional intimacy (your friendship),
  • a few days on building physical intimacy (the fireworks, making sex feel wonderful!),
  • a few days on spiritual intimacy (the oneness), and
  • a few days putting habits in place so that you can keep the momentum going once you’re done.

Sex is so important in a marriage, and yet often we lose hope. It becomes blah. We wonder if we can ever recapture that spark–or if we can ever light that spark in the first place.

This series takes you step by step in the process of building a fun and intimate sex life. It doesn’t only focus on the mechanics of sex–though there certainly are posts that will help you in that department. It also focuses on building friendship, experiencing real intimacy, and learning to have fun again.

Any two bodies can work together sexually. When we have problems in the bedroom, it’s often not because of our bodies. It’s usually because we aren’t communicating well, or we feel distant from each other, or we’re just nervous. The big benefit of this 31 days is that you’ll actually TALK and communicate about this important part of your life. Talking about it is difficult to do, but the prompts and the posts make it much easier. That’s often when breakthroughs happen!

This isn’t “31 Days of new Sex Tricks”–though there are days that will help you explore more! It’s 31 Days to Great Sex in every way. It will help you grow more intimate as you flirt, laugh, talk, and just revel in each other. Open up the door to real intimacy in your marriage.

Who will benefit from this book?

  • Newlyweds who want to start off well!
  • Couples for whom life has become blah and too routine
  • Couples who have almost given up hope that sex can become great
  • Couples in conflict because one spouse wants sex more frequently than the other

In other words–just about every married couple. In fact–true confession here–my husband made me promise this weekend that WE’D work the 31 days through starting after his next round of call at the hospital. It doesn’t matter where you are in your marriage, the 31 Days to Great Sex will help you talk about sex more, think about intimacy more, and feel much closer together.

How does it work?

Each day has a topic, like “Embracing the Skin She’s In”, “Hitting the Reset Button on your Sex Life”, or “How Do You Decide Your Sexual Boundaries?” There’s a short write-up you read together–about 1-3 pages–and then there’s a challenge for you to do, often containing some conversation prompts. And yes–there’s plenty in there about how to make sex feel great, too.

I get a lot of women writing to me saying,

My husband HATES to read books. Will he read this?

The thing is, it’s not like a regular book. You don’t have to sit down and read 30 pages and then discuss it. Each night you’re really only reading 1-3 pages. That’s it. Then there’s another page for the challenges. The reading is not time consuming, and it isn’t intimidating.

And most men will jump at the chance to make their sex life better!

If you’re looking for a fabulous but inexpensive gift to give your husband, the book contains a link to some coupons you can download to present to him, announcing what you have planned.

Buy it in paperback
Buy it in .pdf form (that you can read on a computer, ereader, or print out)
Buy it on Kindle
Buy on Nook

Can a Man Buy it for His Wife?

Absolutely! It’s a couple’s book, and if you’re male, and you want to work through it with your wife, here’s how I’d suggest talking about it:

  • Stress that it’s about reading and talking together. It’s not 31 days of sex tricks where you’ll ask her to do uncomfortable things.
  • Stress that you want to feel more intimate with her, and one of the weeks is on how to experience awesome intimacy.
  • If sex has really been a sore spot in your marriage, ask her to read this post first.

I Would Rather buy the E-Book Edition to Have Access Right Away. But How Does an E-Book Work?

An ebook can be read on any device–a computer, an iPod, a phone, a tablet, an iPad–even an ereader! If you don’t have a particular e-reader (like a Kindle or a Nook or a Kobo), just buy the .pdf version from me. You’ll receive a link so you can download the book onto your computer or device, or you can even print it out if you’d like (it’s around 100 pages).

If you do have a specific ereader, you may prefer to buy it formatted for that reader. In that case,

Buy it on Kindle
Buy on Nook
Buy it on Kobo

Want to learn more about how to read an ebook? This post can help!

But remember–it’s available in paperback now, too!

Reader Response

I was simply overwhelmed last by the emails I had from you readers in response to this series. Here are just a taste:

I have been amazed at the transformation in myself over the last 29 days.  I can’t imagine a bigger sceptic than me going in…it was truly only my desire to walk in obedience that got me started and kept me going.  But now my husband and I “joke” that we had more sex in Feb 2012 than in all 2009.  Thank you for changing the way I think about sex.

I asked hubby to do this 29 days with me. He jumped at the chance – because he knows how much of a struggle this is with me. And tonight we started.

Wow – we haven’t talked like that in so long. It was amazing. Although we have a long way to go, thank you for making it possible for us to open the lines of communication.

Tonight, I want to cry because I feel like maybe, just maybe, there’s hope I’ll become the woman that God intends me to be, the woman that my DH prayed for, the woman I should be.

I just needed to tell you that your series has been a real eye opener for me. I don’t feel like I can post a public thank you yet because I’m a little embarrassed to say that it’s taken me 25 years to learn. And you were my teacher! This area of sex has had its issues throughout our marriage. I never understood about intimacy. No one ever took the time to teach me. It’s not something that’s talked about in “christian” circles. We’ve even been in counseling for the last two year–with a sex therapist who is a christian!!–and she’s never said these things to me.

I just wanted to tell you that I read your entire “29 Days To Great Sex” challenge last night. I know it is supposed to be a daily challenge but after the first couple of posts I started to feel… liberated. I am 23 and enjoy sex with my husband but also felt/feel incredibly embarrassed by my own sexual feelings. I love giving HIM pleasure but I struggle allowing him to give ME pleasure. I have always had an extremely crippling fear of “what if theres something wrong with me” and “what if I don’t do it right” and “what if hes just being nice but he thinks this is stupid/gross/annoying/taking too long”. When I was reading your posts I realized so many of my fears were unfounded. I realized that the way my body responds is completely normal and that in my fear, I have been preventing enjoyment in my husband. You kept saying that so many women just say “I guess my body just doesn’t work” THAT WAS ME and it really made me feel ashamed and embarrassed…..I know that as I learn about my body with my husband and as I learn to trust him in this way things will only get better and better for us. So… Thank you.

Buy it in paperback
Buy it in .pdf form (that you can read on a computer, ereader, or print out)
Buy it on Kindle
Buy on Nook

I know this book will bless your marriage. Just writing it helped mine. And I’m offering it for only $4.99 as an ebook right now, or as a paperback for $12 (on sale from $15). And don’t forget the Valentine’s Bundle: 4 ebooks, just $10, including 31 Days to Great Sex!


  1. Will it work if you (the wife) just work on it yourself? I have not been that interested in sex- but DH is not interested AT ALL. I don’t even know where to start. When I try to talk about he just says uh-huh, and that’s the end of the conversation. If we have sex maybe once a month it is because I initiated things. And I always feel like I am just doing my duty. He just says he is tired all the time.

    • There certainly is a lot in there about examining your own attitudes, but it’s better done as a couple. I did direct the original 29 days series just to women, but it’s easier if your husband is on board. Maybe if you talk to him about it? The first week is really low key, kind of gradually easing you into it. It’s not like the 31 days is all “spend 45 minutes on amazing sex tonight!”. A lot is talking and learning to be affectionate again and to connect again, before we get to the overtly sexual parts (although you can make the earlier days sexual if you want to!). I’d suggest praying about it and talking to him and just saying, “I want to do this with you because I want us to feel close and intimate, not because I think there’s anything wrong with you. I just don’t want to settle for mediocre.” You know?

  2. workinprogress says:

    LOVE the cover. It makes me wish my husband wore a shirt and tie to work every day :-) I don’t have an e-reader, but hubby does. I may have to send him the link and have him buy it for us.

    • Sounds like fun! You can read the .pdf version on any computer, but I do think a Kindle is easier. And any ereader can also read a .pdf.

  3. I hope a lot of people take the chance to get this book. I believe you point out so many wonderful ideas and thoughts concerning marriage. :) When I get the chance, I plan on getting our books. :)
    Crystal Green recently posted…Playing Juggling Game At NightMy Profile

  4. Congrats, Sheila!
    Fawn Weaver recently posted…Communication 101: Stop, Look & ListenMy Profile

  5. Will you be releasing it as a paper book in the future?

    • I’m looking into it! It’s just a lot more expensive to do it that way for me. I’ll tell you what–once I make enough of a profit off of the ebook sales that I can afford to then I’ll think about it! I really would like to–I think it would sell well when I speak, too.

      • I think these type of books are great for sticky noting pages and highlighting, something that’s harder to do on an ereader, harder to just flip right to a section. I’m excited!

  6. Yay!!! We tried the 29 days but our baby was rather small then… so instead of 29 days to great sex it was more like 67 days to mediocre sex :) We can’t wait!!

  7. I’d buy the book! I don’t have an e-reader and don’t enjoy reading on my laptop. But I’m really excited that you got it all put together, and hope it’s a big hit!

  8. This is awesome Sheila!! I’m so proud of you for continuing to create such brilliant products and events for people. Your hard work will certainly be rewarded. Keep going.
    Gina Parris recently posted…What If Making Love Helped You Make Miracles?My Profile

  9. For people looking at ereaders – target has a basic nook for $50 on Black Friday! Might be worth it :)

  10. Michele ºÜº says:

    I love the cover!!! I like how it doesn’t show their whole faces and it is flirty. I also really like the title on the shirt rather than in a text box!

    Congrats! I’ll try to get the pdf version soon.

  11. Heather E. says:

    Don’t forget ya’ll, that pdf’s are printable! How many pages are we looking at printing out, Sheila?

  12. Are you still giving away a copy to someone who voted?

    • Yes, I announced the winners on my Facebook page. I should go and just put that note up on that post. Thanks for reminding me!

  13. So exciting! My husband says he will go to the doctor when he gets back from his month long business trip, and then hopefully we can work on this!

  14. I felt compelled to buy the e-book since you used my testimony in the post today. :-) I’m just kidding–I would have bought it anyway. 29 Days made such a difference in our marriage that now my husband wants me to share 31 Days with him. (I did download it to his Kindle since I’m not a fan of reading books on a computer screen.) Thanks so much, Sheila, for all you do for marriages!

  15. Just bought a copy on my Kindle. Look forward to reading it!
    Gaye @ Calm.Healthy.Sexy. recently posted…Appreciate and Enjoy Your Husband’s MasculinityMy Profile

  16. So I bought the book and decided to ask my husband to do it with me and he was very excited to do so. We did the first day last night, and well we are on very different pages….we had a pretty heated discussion/argument. He wasn’t so happy with the numbers I was giving, but to me sex feels like a chore since his primary focus is himself. I have decided to be very honest in my responses bc I feel our marriage deserves it and I want to be better for him. He always thought sex was great for me (when we had it since I never want it and see it more like something I have to do and try to delay it as long as possible) but now sees we have a lot of work to do! Here’s to hoping in 31 days we are somewhere different than here!

    • That’s okay that you’re on different pages! It’s good to figure that out at the beginning. As long as you both are dedicated to moving in the same direction, you’ll likely be fine. Honesty is wonderful! You can’t have real growth without it.

    • Wow that sounds so much like us MB. We had talked about reading this book and then last night a discussion started it ended in an argument where we both felt hurt and didn’t even end up… you know making up. I am afriad of intimacy (I just dicovered this about myself….) and we are on different pages like you said above and have much to work through in terms of our sex life. I think the best thing to do is pray pray pray through this!! I am sure our marriage is going to come under attack as we try to do this and we will need grace to hear and understand eachother. Blessings for the next 31 days :)

    • MB and Alexis, I want to encourage to complete the series. My husband and I started out earlier this year just like you both and your husbands are starting out now. I found I had to do some major rethinking! I have to believe the words my husband tells me about our sexual lives. It was not easy to recreate this part of our marriage. But is was so worth it!!! We are closer and more intimate now that we ever were the first 25 years of marriage. My prayers for your marriages!

      • That’s wonderful, Sue! And MB and Alexis, I’ve put up a post responding to what you were saying. It’s right here. Keep at it, ladies! Honesty is always a good thing.

  17. I found the ‘Good Girls Guide’ in i-books on my i-phone. Will this book be available, too?

    • Absolutely! If you purchase this as a .pdf, and then you open it on your iPhone, you can then choose “Open in iBooks”, and then it shows up on the bookshelf in iBooks. Maybe I’ll do a visual post of how that works!

  18. Total waste of money. My wife would never read it. I don’t even know why I come to this site. It just depresses me.

    • I’m sorry, Steve. I know there are many spouses–both men and women–in your situation, whose mates have shut down. I pray that there will be a break through.

  19. Wife and I are enjoying going through this together. Still waiting for the coupons page to be up. Will ey be up soon?

  20. Courtney H. says:

    Sheila, I just wanted to thank you for your boldness on this subject! I got married four months ago, and I really had nothing but a very, very basic understanding of sex before my wedding. It was so relieving to get this book at my bridal shower! :) I never wanted to read a book about sex from a non-Christian standpoint, from fear that it would become too graphic or contain stuff that I didn’t want to know until my wedding day. Thanks a ton for writing openly, truthfully, and with a positive tone on a subject that not many Christian women write about! :)

  21. I found this blog on pinterest and just began to use your blog as a way to rekindle the flame in my marriage. I specifically took some of your advice from 29 days. Last night was the first night in YEARS i had felt the way i did, hubby enjoyed it too! Thank you for such wonderful information. This blog may have just saved my marriage! :)

  22. therapist says:

    Do you address when a partner has been betrayed sexually?

  23. Hi there :)
    I bought the e-book yesterday, now, I don’t like reading, I’m not from this country and it’s easier for me to listen. Do you have an audiobook version of it? That is the best way for me to sit still and listen and learn, other wise it dose not work for me.
    I have another problem, my husband will never read it or listen to it, he dose believe that I can learn anything from books and I can only learn from myself and from listening to him which I know its bulshit. My question is, can I do it and read it/listen all by myself, without my husband? Will it work the same?
    I’m also coming from a place that I’m very shy woman about everything, yes I look good and sexy to other people but I don’t use it or show it at all, especially to my husband, I’m just not a sexual woman, I don’t like having sex and it’s always seems like such a hard work to do. My husband complain to me that I turn him OFF instead of ON because I don’t have any confident and sexuality.
    I’m really confused and don’t know how to help and change it.
    I hope you could help me :)
    Thank you very much!

    • Feather, I don’t have an audiobook available yet. I’m sorry.

      But the book really is meant to be read and talked through. You can read it yourself, but you’ll get much more out of it as a couple, since most of the things are exercises you have to do together.

      Honestly, each day is really only 2-3 pages of reading. That’s it. It’s not that much. And I think you really need to put the effort in to read it and try to do the challenges. There’s nothing “magical” that just hearing will make you all better. You have to read it, and think about it, and make a decision to put it into action. It takes work and determination on your part, and on his. And so I guess I’d just say to all couples: do you want to get better? Because if you do, then you have to put the work in. There really is no other way. How much is this bothering you? Is it bothering you enough that you are willing to say, “I really need to change”?

      It sounds like it is. You’re not in a good place–you think sex is icky, and you feel ashamed in front of your husband. I’m so, so sorry for that, and I do understand, and you are totally not alone. Many women feel that way. But the only way through to the other side is to pray about it and then make the decision that you’re going to do the work. And so I’d talk to him and tell him something like this, “I really want this to get better in our marriage, but I need your help. I want this to be something we do together. It really only takes 15 minutes a night roughly–15 minutes for a month, and then we’ll start to see our marriage get so much better. Will you do this with me, because I want our marriage to thrive!”

      Can you try that? I really hope that helps!

  24. My husband wants a divorce and we’ve been going to counseling for about a month. Communications are finally happening and we’ve been making some positive changes. He is back to sleeping in our bedroom and – to my relief – he was willing to have sex again. I feel safe with this decision but I know that he is still not 100% back – be it confusion or guilt (he had an emotional affair that lead to the the asking for the divorce.) I have forgiven him and myself. I know he still needs time to forgive himself and move forward in a positive way. I would like to reconnect with him in this area but I am not sure if this book would be helpful. Please share your input.

    • Denise, that’s hard to say, and I’m so sorry you’re going through this, but so glad that things are looking up! The book does take things slowly–and opens up a lot of doors to talking again. And near the end of the month there are some exercises to truly put the past behind you and move forward together. In that sense it could be just what you need. At the same time, its success is really going to depend on whether he is committed to making the marriage work and you both are really able to talk again. If you are, it likely will work. If there’s still a ton of doubt and you both don’t know if you do want to continue in the marriage, then it may be hard to be vulnerable and honest enough to do some of the exercises, because they do require at least a basic commitment that you want to work on your relationship. I certainly hope you have that, and you have my prayers!

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  46. […] husband to spend more time with the kids, make sure that you are also spending more time with him. Prioritize sex. Prioritize getting the kids on a schedule so you do have some alone time. Consider his feelings. […]

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