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wifey wednesday

It’s Wednesday, the day when we talk marriage! I introduce a topic, and then you follow up either by commenting or by writing your own post and then linking up!

Lately I haven’t stressed the “linking up” part very much because I’ve had so much to say! I’ve been running a bunch of series, starting with my 29 Days to Great Sex, and then the launch of The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex, and so today I want to “get back to normal” and write a Wifey Wednesday post! Except this one isn’t really normal.

You see, usually I write a long thing on marriage, but I’ve done that a lot lately (like on Monday; did you read Monday’s post about our attitude & marriage success?) What I’d like to do instead is to re-launch Wifey Wednesdays, since we’ve had a bit of a break. I want these Wednesdays to showcase all the great marriage advice that we have from our readers. I know many of you are bloggers, and many of you have some wonderful thoughts, and when I was first blogging, linking up to these “blog parties” was a great way to find new readers.

So please, if you have a marriage post, link up at the bottom of this post! You just enter the URL of your post, and then on your website put a link back here (or you can copy the picture at the top of this post and put it up).

To get in the spirit of linking, I thought I’d post a variety of marriage things I’ve found lately that you may find interesting.

1. Prayer Partner Challenge

First, Leigh Ann at Intentional by Grace writes that she really enjoyed Sunday’s post on praying with your spouse. And she’s doing a similar challenge on her blog! She writes:

We are challenging people to pray daily for their marriage. We are supplying a free prayer prompts ebook, and giving them daily check in opportunities to make their efforts a habit! You can find out more here, or at the  FAQ (gives a much fuller picture and fills in the blanks). The challenge starts April 16th and runs through June 1st.

2. Cwives

I met Jennifer Degler at a retreat our mutual agent was conducting back in 2008. Jennifer is a Ph.D. clinical psychologist who writes a ton about how to make sex sizzle! Cwives stands for “Christian Wives Initiating, Valuing, and Enjoying Sex”, and you can check out all her great advice here. I’m hoping to have her guest post here soon!

3. How to Let Your Marriage Burn

Here’s a post I pinned on Pinterest! (I’ve met so many of you from Pinterest; if you’re here after originally finding me there, do say hi in the comments!). Anyway, in this post, Jessi shares 10 ways to keep your marriage fresh, including:

6. FLIRT UNAPOLOGETICALLY

Flirting, in essence, is using words and actions to make someone of the opposite sex feel good about themselves.  Don’t feel silly, just be sappy and sassy to the extent you feel comfortable.  Simply expound on the feelings you are already feeling–tell your spouse why you think they are amazing, not just that you think they are amazing.  Tell your spouse how you are physically attracted to them.  Tell your spouse how they are intelligent, capable, and competent.  Men like to feel like heros, women like to feel appreciated–so keep that in mind and tell your spouse what he or she likes to hear.  And try to vocalize it as often as you think it.  No one ever gets sick of hearing how amazing they are.

This one reminded me of my post on 16 ways to flirt with your husband! Stop on by to see her other 9!

4. Happy Wives Club

Fawn at the Happy Wives Club has done an amazing job creating a site celebrating being a wife! Too often marriage is spoken of like it’s a hassle, and Fawn loves teaching about what’s great about marriage. She featured a 3-part interview with me last week, and here’s the last one: Laughter: God’s Medicine for Marriage.

Incidentally, I was browsing Pinterest last night for Boards labelled “Marriage”. A lot of the boards were obviously from Christians, since they had Scriptures all over. And many had those posts everybody pins: 50 ways to show love to your husband; 100 ways to make your marriage shine. I recognized many of those pinners. But then, stuck between them, would occasionally be a board that simply made fun of husbands, like the picture on the right. That really bugs me. If you’re on Pinterest, please don’t repin insulting things, even if you think they’re funny! I think marriage gets too bad a rap, which is why I appreciate what Fawn is doing.

5. Win a First–or Second–Honeymoon!

Have you entered my contest yet? You can win $1000 (or $500) towards a first–or second–honeymoon! There’s one contest for Americans, and one for Canadians, so whichever category you’re in, you have a better chance of winning than usual. Find out more here.

6. Adult Sibling Rivalry

This one isn’t about marriage per se, but I do find that extended family relationships often impact families. Here’s a really interesting article from the Wall Street Journal about adult sibling rivalry.

7. A New Way to Look at Proverbs 31

Pursuit of Proverbs 31Has Proverbs 31 always made you feel like a failure? She’s a businesswoman. She doesn’t sleep. She makes clothes. She cooks. She tends to her family, to the community, to her husband. How can you ever measure up?

My friend Amy Bayliss has written a great Bible study ebook on Proverbs 31 with an entirely new slant that I really appreciated. It empowers, rather than weighs down. And Amy is so transparent and vulnerable when she shares about her own journey, and really grounded in Scripture as she encourages you to go deeper. I highly recommend it!

8. My Favourite Blog Post of the Year

Some of you may know that I had a son with Down Syndrome 16 years ago. He passed away from a heart defect a month after he was born. I miss him still.

Recently a couple went to court to sue a doctor for “wrongful birth”, because they would have aborted their daughter had they known.

This mom of a little girl with Down Syndrome replies, “maybe you should sue God?”. It’s a perfect answer, and an awesome post.

It may not have to do with marriage specifically, but one thing Keith and I found when we were going through Christopher’s diagnosis, and illness, and eventual death, was that we had a decision to make. We could either pull together or allow the hardship to tear us apart. The doctor told us right after Christopher died, “We should let you know that half of all couples who go through this divorce within the year.” What an incredibly stupid thing to say at the time. But we decided we had already lost a son; we certainly were not going to lose each other.

Raising a special needs child has its own difficulties, but as this mom shows, the joys are there in abundance, too. For those of you who are living this, I pray that your marriage will be strengthened and that you will pull together, not apart.

Now, those are my links for the week. I want Wednesday to be link day, although usually I’ll be writing a post of my own. But for today, let’s LINK! So what advice do you have for us today? Write your own Wifey Wednesday post that links back to here, and then leave the link of THAT POST in the Linky below. Thanks!

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