When my oldest daughter was 8, she asked what I wanted for Christmas. When I didn’t mention any toys, she felt so sorry for me. “Why don’t you like to play anymore, Mommy?”
That’s a good question. Why do we stop playing? Now maybe Polly Pockets and Barbies aren’t your cup of tea, but you can still play with your husband! Laughing and giggling and joking around should be part of your relationship–because it’s good for the marriage, and the soul!
We’re in the middle of our 29 Days to Great Sex, when I’m laying out a plan for you to get the most out of your marriage. Why settle for mediocre, when sex is a vital part of your relationship–one that God designed to bind you together, to give you great pleasure, and to add fun and sparks to your life. It’s all leading up to the launch of my new book, The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex (update: Now available!)
Up until now we’ve been looking at some of the roadblocks to enjoying a good sex life, and many of you have commented that some of the challenges have been difficult, because you have low self-esteem, or because your husband has a low sex drive, or because you’re haunted by things from your past.
I know it can be rough, but I encourage you to stick it out! So today, before we get to more “sexual” challenges, I want to address something at the root of many of our marriage problems: we stop having fun together. And when we stop having fun, marriage becomes so–well–serious.
It is ever so much easier to address problems in our marriages–whether they’re related to sex, or parenting, or finances, or time, or whatever, if we also find time to play together as a couple. A couple that is laughing together is also a couple who enjoys being together, and who will find navigating all the difficulties of marriage much easier.
So today I want to present you with a list of 14 ways to play with your husband! These aren’t necessarily sexual–although you can certainly put a sexual spin on them if you want to. Later in the week we’ll look at how to flirt with your husband, but today I just want to focus on laughter–and laughter inspired by physical fun. Because when we have “physical” fun with our husbands, the more sexual fun often follows.
The idea was inspired by this picture I saw (I didn’t write the text, so forgive the spelling mistakes, but if you know where it originated from, I’d love to give credit where credit is due
That is a fun marriage! Before you launch into these “play” ideas, though, set the mood. The woman in this picture left her husband a note so he knew what was coming. She didn’t just blast away. If you’re wanting to have fun with your hubby, make sure he’s in the right frame of mind, and that he knows there’s something playful coming. Don’t just spring something on him when he’s worried about work or preoccupied. Send him texts throughout the day, kiss him lots when he’s home, and laugh a lot beforehand. Then go for it, like this:
Play with Your Husband
1. Have a waterfight.
When you do the dishes, flick some water on him. See what happens!
2. Launch a water WAR
Want to turn it up a notch? Chip and Cherry from Married Spice advocate a water WAR. Give each other water guns, and go for it! (May work better when it’s not winter for those of us in the Great White North).
3. Snowball Fight
If snow is plentiful, text him and warn him to be on his guard when he gets home from work tonight. Then set up an ambush! And you can ask the kids to join in the fun, too! Physical play doesn’t have to exclude the kids, and having all of you laugh together while you end up breathless still is a great preview of what could happen later that night.
I often win wrestling matches, because we make a deal. I have to move my husband (if he’s standing) or push him off the bed (if he’s lying down). He’s not allowed to use anything to stop me except his body and perhaps two fingers. I can do anything I want. And even with those concessions, I still can’t move him! But he laughs so hard that he often loses.
Kate Aldrich from One Flesh Marriage loves wrestling with her husband Brad, too–but she’s nicer than me. She usually ends up letting her hubby win. She says, “I just stop trying-because it gets tiring and he was gonna win anyway! Besides, what hubby doesn’t like to get his wife pinned down! We always have fun with it and it almost always leads to “other” things!
5. Pillow fight!
Ambush him on his way out of the bathroom and hit him with a pillow. Then run while he goes to get one to hit you back!
6. “Pie in the Face”
Eating chocolate cake tonight? Or making chocolate cake? Smear it on him–and be prepared for it to be returned–just like in this Family Man scene:
7. Act out a scene from a movie
Speaking of movies, J from Hot, Holy and Humorous recommends acting out dancing scenes or romantic scenes from movies. She says, “turn off the sound, and have the two of you provide the audio. See what fun or sexy lines you can come up with!
J also loves dancing! “Turn your kitchen into a dance floor. Hum a tune, grab your partner, twist and turn, and even throw in a dip or two! If you own a gaming system, play Dance Dance Revolution or Just Dance and challenge each other to a dance contest.”
Gina Parris from Winning at Romance agrees. “Have you SEEN Dancing with the Stars? Whew. We’d hate to have all that erotic energy wasted on some silly competition. Get in the game!” So watch some clips and try to copy them. You’ll either roll around on the floor from laughter or from something else!
If you own a Wii system, try the boxing game! You’ll raise your heart rate, and you may just be able to knock him out! Then try to wrestle in real life and see who really is stronger.
8. Hit the courts
Play squash, badminton, tennis, or another racquet sport. Make him play with his left hand (or right hand if he’s left-handed) to give you an advantage.
9. Play Solitaire to the death.
You’ll be slapping down those cards so hard you’ll work up a sweat! Winner gets something of their choice–could be something sexual, or something like getting out of doing the dishes, or getting to take a bath while the other puts the kids in bed.
10. Indoor Volleyball–in the Buff!
Gina Parris suggests getting some balloons and playing volleyball over the bed–while you’re nude!
12. Tickling Contest
Who will cry uncle first?
13. Turn Chores into a Game
One of my followers on my Facebook page gave me this idea:
When we change the sheets on the bed, we have a race to see who can finish putting the pillowcase on the pillow and get the pillow on the bed in its place first. We do things like hide the opponent’s pillowcase, throw pillows downstairs, grab opponent’s pillow, yank the pillowcase off and toss it in the hall, lock each in the bathroom, and wrestle each other for our own pillowcase that the other is hoarding, hiding or trying to throw out the window. Much laughter, much tickling, much running through the house and acting like children. It’s fun!
14. Food Fight
Finally, there’s the staple from the high school cafeteria: food fight. If you’re cooking with your hubby, and you “accidentally” get flour on his nose, what will he do back?
There’s something about play fighting that often ends in an embrace, and isn’t that most of the fun? So today’s challenge is really simple:
Great Sex Challenge 8: Play with your husband! Pick an item–and do it!
If it’s been a while since you’ve laughed together, this one may be tricky. But start with some wrestling, or trying to shove him off the bed, and just see what happens.
New! This 29 Days to Great Sex series has been turned into an ebook, the 31 Days to Great Sex (only $4.99!)
It's expanded, it's written for couples (not just women), and it's easy to use! 31 Days to boost your emotional intimacy, spiritual intimacy, and physical intimacy. You'll talk, flirt, and explore! Ignite your marriage here.
29 Days to Great Sex:
Day 9: Preparing for Sex Throughout the Day
Day 10: 16 Ways to Flirt as a Couple
Day 11: How to Find Your Hubby Attractive
Day 12: If you’re Having a Hard Time with these Challenges
Day 13: Getting Your Head in the Game
Day 14: What if You’re Not “In the Mood”?
Day 15: What is Foreplay?
Day 16: How to Orgasm
Day 17: The Pleasure Center
Day 18: Foreplay Can Be for Him, Too!
Day 19: How to Come Alive Again
Day 20: Deciding on Boundaries
Day 21: 5 Ways to Spice Things Up
Day 22: How Often is Enough?
Day 23: Quickies Are Great!
Day 24: Initiate, Baby!
Day 25: Sex Once Kids Come
Day 26: Rebuilding Your Sex Life
Day 27: Experiencing Spiritual Intimacy when you Make Love
Day 28: Is Selfishness Robbing You of Intimacy?
Day 29: It’s a Party!
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Marriage isn't supposed to be blah!
Sex is supposed to be stupendous--physically, emotionally, AND spiritually. If it's not, get The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex--and find out what you've been missing.