29 Days to Great Sex Day 8: 14 Ways to Play as a Couple

14 Ways to Play with Your Husband

When my oldest daughter was 8, she asked what I wanted for Christmas. When I didn’t mention any toys, she felt so sorry for me. “Why don’t you like to play anymore, Mommy?”

That’s a good question. Why do we stop playing? Now maybe Polly Pockets and Barbies aren’t your cup of tea, but you can still play with your husband! Laughing and giggling and joking around should be part of your relationship–because it’s good for the marriage, and the soul!

We’re in the middle of our 29 Days to Great Sex, when I’m laying out a plan for you to get the most out of your marriage. Why settle for mediocre, when sex is a vital part of your relationship–one that God designed to bind you together, to give you great pleasure, and to add fun and sparks to your life. It’s all leading up to the launch of my new book, The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex (update: Now available!)

Up until now we’ve been looking at some of the roadblocks to enjoying a good sex life, and many of you have commented that some of the challenges have been difficult, because you have low self-esteem, or because your husband has a low sex drive, or because you’re haunted by things from your past.

I know it can be rough, but I encourage you to stick it out! So today, before we get to more “sexual” challenges, I want to address something at the root of many of our marriage problems: we stop having fun together. And when we stop having fun, marriage becomes so–well–serious.

It is ever so much easier to address problems in our marriages–whether they’re related to sex, or parenting, or finances, or time, or whatever, if we also find time to play together as a couple. A couple that is laughing together is also a couple who enjoys being together, and who will find navigating all the difficulties of marriage much easier.

So today I want to present you with a list of 14 ways to play with your husband! These aren’t necessarily sexual–although you can certainly put a sexual spin on them if you want to. Later in the week we’ll look at how to flirt with your husband, but today I just want to focus on laughter–and laughter inspired by physical fun. Because when we have “physical” fun with our husbands, the more sexual fun often follows.

The idea was inspired by this picture I saw (I didn’t write the text, so forgive the spelling mistakes, but if you know where it originated from, I’d love to give credit where credit is due :)

That is a fun marriage! Before you launch into these “play” ideas, though, set the mood. The woman in this picture left her husband a note so he knew what was coming. She didn’t just blast away. If you’re wanting to have fun with your hubby, make sure he’s in the right frame of mind, and that he knows there’s something playful coming. Don’t just spring something on him when he’s worried about work or preoccupied. Send him texts throughout the day, kiss him lots when he’s home, and laugh a lot beforehand. Then go for it, like this:

Play with Your Husband

1. Have a waterfight.

When you’re at the kitchen sink doing the dishes, flick some water on him. See what happens!

2. Launch a water WAR

Want to turn it up a notch? Chip and Cherry from Married Spice advocate a water WAR. Give each other water guns, and go for it! (May work better when it’s not winter for those of us in the Great White North).

3. Snowball Fight

If snow is plentiful, text him and warn him to be on his guard when he gets home from work tonight. Then set up an ambush! And you can ask the kids to join in the fun, too! Physical play doesn’t have to exclude the kids, and having all of you laugh together while you end up breathless still is a great preview of what could happen later that night.

4. Wrestle

I often win wrestling matches, because we make a deal. I have to move my husband (if he’s standing) or push him off the bed (if he’s lying down). He’s not allowed to use anything to stop me except his body and perhaps two fingers. I can do anything I want. And even with those concessions, I still can’t move him! But he laughs so hard that he often loses.

Kate Aldrich from One Flesh Marriage loves wrestling with her husband Brad, too–but she’s nicer than me. She usually ends up letting her hubby win. She says, “I just stop trying-because it gets tiring and he was gonna win anyway! Besides, what hubby doesn’t like to get his wife pinned down! We always have fun with it and it almost always leads to “other” things!

5. Pillow fight!

Ambush him on his way out of the bathroom and hit him with a pillow. Then run while he goes to get one to hit you back!

6. “Pie in the Face”

Eating chocolate cake tonight? Or making chocolate cake? Smear it on him–and be prepared for it to be returned–just like in this Family Man scene:

7. Act out a scene from a movie

Speaking of movies, J from Hot, Holy and Humorous recommends acting out dancing scenes or romantic scenes from movies. She says, “turn off the sound, and have the two of you provide the audio. See what fun or sexy lines you can come up with!

8. Dance!

J also loves dancing! “Turn your kitchen into a dance floor. Hum a tune, grab your partner, twist and turn, and even throw in a dip or two! If you own a gaming system, play Dance Dance Revolution or Just Dance and challenge each other to a dance contest.”

Gina Parris from Winning at Romance agrees. “Have you SEEN Dancing with the Stars? Whew. We’d hate to have all that erotic energy wasted on some silly competition. Get in the game!” So watch some clips and try to copy them. You’ll either roll around on the floor from laughter or from something else!

7. Box

If you own a Wii system, try the boxing game! You’ll raise your heart rate, and you may just be able to knock him out! Then try to wrestle in real life and see who really is stronger.

8. Hit the courts

Play squash, badminton, tennis, or another racquet sport. Make him play with his left hand (or right hand if he’s left-handed) to give you an advantage.

9. Play Solitaire to the death.

You’ll be slapping down those cards so hard you’ll work up a sweat! Winner gets something of their choice–could be something sexual, or something like getting out of doing the dishes, or getting to take a bath while the other puts the kids in bed.

10. Indoor Volleyball–in the Buff!

Gina Parris suggests getting some balloons and playing volleyball over the bed–while you’re nude!

12. Tickling Contest

Who will cry uncle first?

13. Turn Chores into a Game

One of my followers on my Facebook page gave me this idea:

When we change the sheets on the bed, we have a race to see who can finish putting the pillowcase on the pillow and get the pillow on the bed in its place first. We do things like hide the opponent’s pillowcase, throw pillows downstairs, grab opponent’s pillow, yank the pillowcase off and toss it in the hall, lock each in the bathroom, and wrestle each other for our own pillowcase that the other is hoarding, hiding or trying to throw out the window. Much laughter, much tickling, much running through the house and acting like children. It’s fun!

14. Food Fight

Finally, there’s the staple from the high school cafeteria: food fight. If you’re cooking with your hubby, and you “accidentally” get flour on his nose, what will he do back?

There’s something about play fighting that often ends in an embrace, and isn’t that most of the fun? So today’s challenge is really simple:

Great Sex Challenge 8: Play with your husband! Pick an item–and do it!

If it’s been a while since you’ve laughed together, this one may be tricky. But start with some wrestling, or trying to shove him off the bed, and just see what happens.

Real lovers can be silly!

Sheila is the author of The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex.

31 Days to Great Sex
New! This 29 Days to Great Sex series has been turned into an ebook, the 31 Days to Great Sex (only $4.99!)

It's expanded, it's written for couples (not just women), and it's easy to use! 31 Days to boost your emotional intimacy, spiritual intimacy, and physical intimacy. You'll talk, flirt, and explore! Ignite your marriage here.

Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex

Still 30% off at Amazon!

29 Days to Great Sex:

Day 1: The Act of Marriage
Day 2: Starting Fresh
Day 3: Loving the Skin You’re In
Day 4: Pucker Up!
Day 5: Reawaken Desire
Day 6: Why Your Hubby Wants You!
Day 7: Moving in the Right Direction

Day 9: Preparing for Sex Throughout the Day
Day 10: 16 Ways to Flirt as a Couple
Day 11: How to Find Your Hubby Attractive
Day 12: If you’re Having a Hard Time with these Challenges
Day 13: Getting Your Head in the Game
Day 14: What if You’re Not “In the Mood”?
Day 15: What is Foreplay?
Day 16: How to Orgasm
Day 17: The Pleasure Center
Day 18: Foreplay Can Be for Him, Too!
Day 19: How to Come Alive Again
Day 20: Deciding on Boundaries
Day 21: 5 Ways to Spice Things Up
Day 22: How Often is Enough?
Day 23: Quickies Are Great!
Day 24: Initiate, Baby!
Day 25: Sex Once Kids Come
Day 26: Rebuilding Your Sex Life
Day 27: Experiencing Spiritual Intimacy when you Make Love
Day 28: Is Selfishness Robbing You of Intimacy?
Day 29: It’s a Party!

Remember to hit the Share buttons to share on Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest! (or any other buttons below :). Let’s spread the word about the series, and help other marriages thrive!

The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex

Marriage isn't supposed to be blah!

Sex is supposed to be stupendous--physically, emotionally, AND spiritually. If it's not, get The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex--and find out what you've been missing.


  1. Love these suggestions. I married a very playful and funny man and I regularly need to remind myself to give over my more serious side to just have fun. He loves it and so do I. Thanks for adding to my ideas though.


    Here is the link to what would be my Wifey Wednesday post: http://donotdisturbblog.wordpress.com/2012/02/06/valentines-day-ditch-the-event-mindset/
    donotdisturb blog recently posted…Valentine’s Day: Ditch the “Event” MindsetMy Profile

  2. am married to a man who claims he isn’t a christian – he believes, but doesn’t live it. I’m trying to live my faith, but not doing too well at it.

    We’ve been married 17 years; for the last 5 my husband hasn’t had much interest in sex. He has low testosterone, low vitamin D, ADHD, sleep apnea and is rather overweight. He isn’t interested in doing anything about any of those – it took 3 years before he went for a sleep study! And he refuses to follow treatment. He says “this is just how I am”.

    WHen we do make love, it’s painful for me (absolutely no foreplay; he enters me dry) and difficult to breathe (as he is rather heavy). He’s only interested in man-on-top missionary position (believe me, I’ve tried), but at least it only lasts3 or 4 minutes. When he’s finished, he rolls over and goes to sleep.

    After so many years of trying in so many ways to ask for, or show him what I want/need, or talk about the problems in our sex life, I’ve come to the conclusion that this is what I have. It’s to going to change, so I need to change so I can be happy with what I have.

    So, my question is – how do I stop wanting sex? How do I give up my needs and desires? He is a very good man in so many ways, why can’t I just be satisfied with the good man I have? I know he loves me – he says and shows it a lot! – and he’s always telling me how beautiful I am, or how lucky he is to be married to me. How do I stop wanting what I’ll never have and just be happy with what I do have?

    • Oh, Leigh, that is really difficult. I can totally understand how distant you feel from him and how disappointed you must feel. I think your attitude of reduced expectations is a good one, but I do think that it is valid to let him know what your needs are. It sounds like you could really benefit from just improved communication and more goodwill in your marriage so that he might think about some of your needs more. So I would suggest a two-pronged approach.

      The first would be to completely go to God and look for Him for your peace, because only in God can you find real joy. It sounds like you’re already doing that, but I’d just encourage you to surround yourself with good friends, a good support group, and a good church that can help you grow spiritually.

      The second would be to really work on your friendship with your husband so that you do build some goodwill. If you can, find ways to smile and laugh together, and that brings down the tension so that you can talk to him more about some of these things. And maybe ask him: what are some of your needs in the relationship? If he can see it as a give and take–you’re interested in meeting his needs, too–then he may be more willing to talk about yours.

      As for how to stop wanting sex, again, I really think the only answer is to run to God with your problems and ask Him to show you how much He loves you, and to ask Him to satisfy your deepest needs. I know that’s hard, and I’m not trying to minimize the enormity of what you’re going through. But God can be enough, and it’s often at these lowest moments that we really feel it.

  3. This one will be tough. I’m not a very playful person and take everything seriously. My husband would love if I played more, He likes to tease in a playful way, and I rarely take the bait. I always think he’s being serious! I need to lighten up so thanks for the suggestions.

    • Sometimes we just genuinely have different personalities, and that’s okay. But just like I talked about a while ago, how people who aren’t normally affectionate can learn to be affectionate, so it’s good just to learn to joke around sometimes! But don’t feel like it means you have to become a whole different person; just that you learn to lighten up a bit, that’s all. There really is nothing wrong with WHO you are; it’s only that sometimes we can learn to interact in new ways which makes our relationship stronger!

  4. Sheila, I have followed you blog for quite some time and am so glad to hav e christian speaking straight forward about such an important part of marriage. Thank you for writing your books, tackling 29 Days to Great Sex and just sharing your heart with us.

    I want to offer one word of caution to any guys reading today’s post … I’m glad Sheila mentioned “Before you launch into these “play” ideas, though, set the mood. ” My hubby has great fun wrestling with our kiddos! And earlier on in our marriage (before kids) it was tacktic he tried with me … in honest innocent fun. He truly was just trying to have fun. But in my past I had been physicaly held against my will and abused … its really something I have struggled with. He had never been treated in such a violent way and it never occured to him the flashbacks or fear it would cause me. I was eventually able to share with him why this was in no way fun or playful for me. As soon as he heard my explination he was quite understanding and loving about it. We’ve adapted and found other ways to have fun together. Glad you listed plenty of other ways, Sheila. I just want to offer my view … incase there are other women out there that might have a very hard time with wrestling.

    Keep up the great writting Sheila! We are loving your blog posts!
    Heather Dawn recently posted…Jan 7th 2012My Profile

    • Great point, Heather, and one I wanted to elaborate on but was afraid that I’d make the post too long.

      Can I offer a few thoughts here for other women in your situation?

      Part of your real issues are triggering some very unpleasant memories and even terrors. You certainly don’t want your husband to do that. But at the same time, I do believe that marriage can be a very healing force for those who have been abused, because in marriage you find true protection, true love, and true commitment. So I would say this: see if you can move forward with your husband to honestly achieve some degree of healing which may actually be possible simply because you have someone who loves you like that.

      This isn’t something that can be done overnight; but the other day I advised the woman who was having issues with the challenge to touch her husband (because it brought back memories of being forced to touch men) to find ways to incorporate it and see touching as something beautiful. So do it more low key, enjoy the sensations, and concentrate on your husband and what you’re doing.

      I’d advise a variant of it here. Don’t have him hold you down, but every now and then let him put you in a big bear hug, where you can’t move that much, and say the words to you, “I love you, and I’ll always protect you.” Let him start small. And see if you can start to even let those bad feelings come. Don’t try to shove them away; let them come. They are real. But your husband’s love is also real, and his protection is real, too. So maybe joke around a bit, wrestle a bit, and when those bad feelings come, tell him. But instead of him just letting go, let him kiss you over and over and say, “I love you. I will always protect you.” In other words, don’t flee from the memories or the shaking or the increased heart rate. Feel it. But then concentrate really hard on hearing THE TRUTH today, which is that you are loved, and you are safe. And let his safety start to bring some healing to you. Relax into him, and feel your heart rate go down as he kisses you. Does that make sense? This isn’t something that can be done overnight, but I truly believe that a husband who is loving and patient and understanding can be one of the best tools that God sends us to heal some of these awful memories!

      • Heather Dawn says:

        Sheila, glad you added that piece of advice … its very much the steps we have taken over the years. There is no where that feels safer to me now than in my husbands embrace! I still have moments and triggers, I have learned I will always be a work in progress … I guess thats ok as long as I let God work. But you are so right … it takes time and effort. We’ve been married almost 19 years now. It took me years to even share and then years to truly trust. I thank God he hung in there with me … that God gave him the grace and patience to hang in there with me.

  5. Never underestimate the power of a 4-wheeler ride with your honey to keep things fun and exciting!
    Melinda recently posted…Cinnamon Apple Coffee CakeMy Profile

  6. This is a fun post and my heart totally goes out to those who have a painful past that interferes with present pleasure. There is such a beautiful freedom when those memories are completely healed on a cellular level. I see it happen all the time. Bless you Sheila, thanks for including the dancing tip I shared. As usual, Miss Hot & Humorous & I are on the same page.
    Gina Parris recently posted…Creating a Magical Valentine’s DayMy Profile

  7. Hahaha! We do most of those things without even trying . My husband is very competitive and didn’t grow up with siblings, so I say he is trying to act out his “inner 12 year old, older brother”(nevermind the fact that I am actually almost 2 years older than him and I am the oldest in my family, too!). I love it when we get laughing so hard we can hardly breathe. He laughs at me when we are wrestling or tickling because I get SO angry(but I’m not really angry, I’m still laughing). I hate, hate to be tickled and yet I love it, too. I love that we are being silly together, but I don’t like the sensation and I really don’t like that he can pin me so easily, so some of the angry things that come out of my mouth are less than lady-like and can probably be compared to a kitten growling at a lion! LOL.

    The best, though, is those occasions where I win!

    Sometimes we include our daughter, but lots of times, we keep horsing around until she wakes up, demands to know what we are doing and sends US to bed 😛 She probably thinks we are soooo weird, but I hope that when she is grown she will look back and smile.

    Laughing together is such a must. I live for those moments(but don’t tell him or it takes out the fun of “torturing” haha).

    • Rachel, I hear you! When the girls were little and Keith and I would wrestle, I’d often call for them to provide my backup, and then Keith would have to battle all three of us at once. He still won. :)

  8. I found three DVDs of dance lessons at a yard sale for 25 cents each – love Gina’s suggestion. Now we just need to have a big enough living room to do it!
    Heather recently posted…Pinning It Down {5} – Breakfast CasseroleMy Profile

  9. We do a lot of those things. We have even done the nerf gun thing. One other thing we have done is we will often hide on each other. One will go up to tuck the kids in bed a minute earlier and then when the other one comes up they will be hiding. There are not very many places to hide but the anticipation is what makes it fun. The kids laugh, we laugh and it adds to the intimacy of our marriage. Thanks for writing about this very important subject.
    okoraf recently posted…Peanut Butter Chocolate BarsMy Profile

  10. This one scares me the most out of all of them you have done so far. I’ve spent a day thinking about why, and I think it is because early on in our married years, I would almost always get hurt. He just didn’t get the gentle button when he was made. I think it is important though, so I’m going to go for it and we might have to talk or figure it out, I like the wrestling rules where he can only use two fingers and his body. I think I might have to incorporate those into our wrestling matches.
    Sexy Christian Wife recently posted…Valentine’s Day PlansMy Profile

    • Ouch! I can see why you’d be hesitant. But the two-finger rule is actually quite sexy. I mean, if my husband can beat me with two fingers, he’s really strong, and that’s awfully appealing :). So your guy might like it!

  11. love the ideas… what about Naked Wii…. haven’t tried the volleyball, but Carnival Games is on our list! :) Actually last night we had a good laugh session in the middle of sex. He would be in the “right place” and move his hand, then almost get me there again, then move… arrgh… I just atarted laughing and told him he was being a tease, he laughed too and said it wasn’t on purpose, but I know it was! we had a great time and it was an awesome “ending” for both of us! (Better for me!) We always say it was better for ourselves, and the other disagrees! It’s all in fun!

  12. Oh, this brings me back to our earlier days of marriage. I always said that part of ‘the spice of life’ was play fighting with my man. We have broken a slat on our bed and put a whole in the wall.LOL But, we never hurt each other, those were things because of the wrestling. He is 6’4″ and I am 6′. Makes for some interesting times.

    Thank you, Sheila for these reminders. It was about a month ago when my daughter came into the livingroom, looking at us as if we were crazy. “What I asked?” And her answer hurt. “I haven’t heard you guys laugh like that together before.” WHAT!!! Had it really been that long since we’d had a good time together that our daughter couldn’t remember. Made us stop and think.
    Danielle Jones recently posted…Fresh perspectiveMy Profile

  13. i just stumbled across this blog today (actually day nine), so i read day 9, then back to day 1-8.


    so many christian writers talk around or about sex…most at least agree on its importance…but so few are willing to really talk SEX.

    i struggle with all the areas, to some degree, mentioned in the first nine days, EXCEPT for this one.

    we play so much sometimes i think the dog and the kids get jealous (tho we often do include them).

    i just wanted to share a new thing we did last week that fits really well here. we live in sunny central florida….seriously slim chances of snow and nearly impossible chances of snowball fights…

    but last week, i was sitting on the bed joining/rolling the socks…then tossing the socks to my hubby to put them in the dresser drawer. at one point, i threw too many at once, or aimed badly, or something, but however it started, it ended in a hillarious “snowball” fight.

    we laughed so hard and had so much fun…one of these days we are going to let the kids get all their “ammo” and join us!

    looking forward to the rest of the month!

  14. We are an incredibly playful couple. I’m so grateful. :) One of the things we did a while back was hide the toothbrush. Since we were married, we’ve most always made the others toothbrush for them. Whoever gets in the bathroom first (we always go to bed at the same time together) makes both toothbrushes. Anyways, that got boring for us, and one day, I came in to brush my teeth, and lo and behold, no toothbrush. And so began the toothbrush war. We’re so competitive that eventually it would take half an hour just to find the toothbrush. It was the walk of shame when we had to come into the bedroom and ask where our toothbrush was. ha! Anyways, we eventually had to call a truce. It was just too hard. But it was fun while it lasted. :)
    Leigh Ann @ Intentional By Grace recently posted…Comment on A Surrendered Marriage: Encouragement to Persevere in Prayer by DustiMy Profile

  15. I have been getting A LOT out of your 29 Days posts. Thank you so much for this resource.

    This is one about which I have some reservations, however. It just doesn’t sound fun to me. At all.

    My husband and I have GREAT times together. We are best friends. We enjoy the same types of fun. We laugh and “play” together often. Our litmus test on whether we should do something or not is, “Is it fun, practical, and romantic? And, if not, can we make it all of those things?” Our play would probably seem rather boring and tame to you and most of your commenters. I walked down the aisle to the Love Theme from Mystery Science Theater 3000, for instance. It was just our little inside joke and we still get laughs from it. (We are both huge MST3K fans.)

    We both dislike pranks, hi-jinks, and practical jokes. I can’t STAND getting hit with anything, whether it be water, snowballs, food, or even socks. Wrestling, etc. just seems mean. My husband and daughter wrestle a little bit, but even that bothers me sometimes when it gets too competitive.

    I just want to ask to clarify: Is that o.k.? Is it just that we should have fun together and laugh together and be best friends? Or is this type of rough “play” something altogether different. Are we missing out on something important?

    I don’t like the idea of having to do these types of things, but I’m willing to go to God and ask for peace in this if we are missing out on His best. What do you think?

    • Jeralynne, I think if you and your husband are able to laugh together everyday, then that’s perfectly fine. Really. Some people are just quieter and not as into these things. The main thing is that you’re able to laugh and be silly in some way, because it’s that silliness that sometimes really brings the shared intimacy. Does that make sense?

      Most couples would really benefit from this, but you’ve got to take everything and look at it through your own lenses. And if you are having fun together, if you are spending a lot of time together, if you are laughing together, and if you are affectionate, then you’re perfect okay!

  16. I just have to tell you what happened when we were doing the 15 minutes of being touched exercise. I was laying there with my eyes closed, ready to start “feeling” when my husband, who has very large nostrils and a great sense of humor, plopped his nostril on top of my nose! He said, “I’ve always wanted to know if your nose fits in my nose.” I started giggling. When I finally calmed down, we started over again. This time he stuck his fingers up my nose! I started laughing so hard I snorted, and then he started laughing. Then we finally calmed down and did the exercise, which led to some of the best sex we’ve had in a long time. Thanks so much for your blog!

    • You know, Sarah, I don’t think I’ve ever heard foreplay described quite that way. :) That’s too funny!

    • Crystal says:

      Okay, I keep reading your post and have been laughing so hard I’m in tears! I woke my husband up thinking there was something wrong! Then I’d start laughing again so hard I had to force myself to stop b/c I thought I would (believe it or not) vomit from all the stomach muscles tightening so much!

  17. So i know that the 29 day challenge is over, but I’ve just start. It has been challenging and I’ve put off some challenges that I was intimated to do, but last night I told my husband that he had to lay still for 15 minutes…and it was hilarious. My husband is probably the most ticklish person I know. But as fun as it was, having that comfort and security with him way amazing. I felt like the pressure to just have sex and go to sleep was gone and we genuinely enjoy each other! Thank you so much and I can’t wait to have a pillow fight or wrestle with my husband when he gets home!

    • That’s great, Devan! Laughing together is so important, and yet we often forget how to do it. I’m glad you had fun, and that you did feel that security and intimacy.

  18. I love these ideas! My husband and I are currently staying in a beach house, and the food fight option sounds like a perfect beach picnic idea. No clean-up hassles if it’s not super icky food. Thanks so much for sharing these fun ideas.
    Jelli recently posted…Etsy Love: Baby Crib MobilesMy Profile

  19. had to giggle at number 12, i was lying on the bed yesterday while my husband was working on the computer , he came over and tickled my feet, problem is im super ticklish an i kicked him right off the bed, he landed on the computer foot rest and hes kinda waddeling today, wasnt very funny at the time but now im finding it super funny

  20. I just found this blog via pinterest today! I have read from number 1 to today so far. I am going to share it with my husband tonight! So far, I have felt the other days challenges were great and do-able. I am quite comfortable with my body and being naked with my husband and we have pretty good sex on a pretty regular basis. Lately though, we have had a lot of stress in our lives. We have been diagnosed with a wide variety of fertility issues, and we have three new (but successful) businesses all run by my husband solely. When he is home, Gary is not into being goofy or fun or light hearted. Usually he is exahusted and totally preoccupied with paperwork and phone calls. We have stopped kissing for fun (but 20min ago we did the 15 sec kiss thing and it was so nice and good) and I keep thinking about when we were dating and how we used to laugh soo much and joke around.

    I can’t blame Gary for sucking all the fun though, I have also been struggling with being happy on a day to day basis due to all our fertility issues. It is definitely a weight on our marriage.

    I think having fun together and being able to separate the heaviness on our hearts once in a while to have fun could be so helpful. Those “play” suggestions though, just seem really tough for me. None of them seem like things I could do and enjoy. I am going to try and think of things that we could do that are fun for us.

    Thank-you for this series and these challenges!

    • Marie, you’re so welcome, and I’m glad you’ve found the series helpful! I pray that you’ll enjoy the rest of them, and that your husband will, too! I know life gets busy sometimes. Maybe we all just need a nudge to put first things first!

  21. Katie Did says:

    Hubby and I are pretty playful! We like to tease, snuggle, dance, tell jokes, talk dirty, be silly, etc. Now that I’m done being pregnant, we’re going to start fencing again. Before we had children, we fenced a little, but I was lacking in confidence and gave it up to excuses. Now, I WANT to start fencing again. I have a lot more self-confidence and have been through enough difficulties to draw on to put up a good fight! Hubby likes me a bit aggressive anyway. ;b

  22. Just working through this challenge with my husband and we’re reading it together. :) Can’t wait to get our game on. We kinda do the hiding thing too sometimes, but we pop out at each other. We also love laughing together but sometimes get in a rut of our routines. I think making a point of having fun will be quite enjoyable and “spicy”! :)
    Jasanna recently posted…Make those eyebrows gorgeous! DIY Eyebrow ShapingMy Profile

  23. This is such a fun post Sheila. I’m the more serious one in our marriage and it is always great to get new ideas and ways that I can play with Tony. Fantastic book and a perfect way for couples to connect over the course of a month.
    Alisa DiLorenzo | ONE Extraordinary Marriage recently posted…150 – Ready, Set, Go!My Profile

  24. I love all these suggestions for keeping a marriage exciting. The waterfights are so much fun and I love the wrestling one.I am really athletic and work out a lot so I can legitimately beat my hubby, who is a great guy. He will openly admit it too which I respect a lot. It is so much fun. Camping together is a blast too.

Comment Policy: Please stay positive with your comments. If your comment is rude, it gets deleted. Any comment that espouses an anti-marriage philosophy (eg. porn, adultery, abuse and the like) will be deleted. If it is critical, please make it constructive. If you are replying to another commenter, please be polite and don't assume you know everything about his or her situation. If you are constantly negative or a general troll, you will get banned. The definition of terms is left solely up to us. Sheila Wray Gregoire owns the copyright to all comments and may publish them in whatever form she sees fit. She agrees to keep any publication of comments anonymous, even if you are not anonymous on this board.


  1. […] sex–and see it as a very positive thing. For the last few days we’ve been looking at how to play, how to flirt, and how to get in the right mindset for […]

  2. […] have to share because I think it will be life-changing to our marriage. I was recently inspired by 14 Ways to Play as a Couple from the blog To Love, Honor and Vacuum, to play some flirtatious games with my spouse. So I waited […]

  3. […] been enjoying these challenges. We started out looking at how our attitudes affect sex, then working on our friendship, and now working on how physically to get it right. Over the next few days we’ll start asking […]

  4. […] 14 Ways to “Play” as a Couple :: To Love, Honor, and Vacuum – Some great (free) ideas for enjoying your spouse and having a few laughs. […]

  5. […] notes in his lunch or on the bathroom mirror! Check out these 2 posts for more ways to Flirt and to Play with your […]

  6. […] 5: Reawaken Desire Day 6: Why Your Hubby Wants You! Day 7: Moving in the Right Direction Day 8: 14 Ways to Play as a Couple Day 9: Prepare for Sex throughout the Day Day 10:16 Ways to Flirt with Your Husband Day 11: How […]

  7. […] 16 sexy, flirty things you can do to laugh with your husband. And if you need more ideas, here are 14 Ways to Play as a Couple! Remember, laughter is something that just comes from the moment. So plan some time to do something […]

  8. […] When my oldest daughter was 8, she asked what I wanted for Christmas. When I didn't mention any toys, she felt so sorry for me. "Why don't you like to play anymore, Mommy?" That's a good question. …  […]

  9. […] we’re going to turn it up a notch, and look at 16 ways to flirt with your husband! Just as playing with your husband helps you laugh together, flirting helps you to laugh–and binds you together because you […]

  10. […] a close marriage or a distant marriage, ask yourself: what do we do well together? Ski? Camp? Play games? Plan? Hike? Drive? And whatever it is, make a point of doing it together at least once a week. You […]

  11. […] bonds us, making us more receptive to love making and more playful with each other in the bedroom. Sheila Gray Gregorie recommends play in her blog “To Love Honour and Vacuum” with 14 great suggestions including, dancing, indoor nude volley ball and pillow […]

  12. […] More ideas to get you thinking.  A word of caution: Know your spouse.  Not all these ideas are great ideas for every marriage.  Adapt them to your specific situation. […]

Leave a Comment


CommentLuv badge