2012 is upon us, and I thought I’d open the year by coming up with a list of the 50 best marriage quotes I could find from 2011 from different marriage blogs. So here they are, organized by topic, though in no particular order. Some are funny; some are profound. Some are convicting; some are simply research statistics. But I find them all interesting, and I hope you will, too! I do not necessarily 100% agree with all of them, but I thought they could stimulate discussion. And maybe you’ll discover some new blogs in the process.
1. Love is by definition focused on its object. If I’m thinking about me, I am not focused on loving my man.
Elspeth, Traditional Christianity, The Heart of the Five Love Languages
2. The biggest barrier to a good attitude is self. It can be the self-pleasuring of a mate who spends hours looking at online pornography, the self-focus of being too tired or too body conscious to make love, or the self-preservation instinct of someone who was molested in their childhood years. Yes, this is a wide range of issues, but a healthy sexual relationship must begin with prioritizing relational intimacy above one’s self. Let me be clear: These are not all selfishess, but they are about self. For some, putting the marriage first means a simple attitude adjustment; for others it requires deep self-examination or therapy to heal from a painful history.
Hot, Holy and Humorous, Godly Sex is Complex
3. Too many of us have virtually no respect for what a husband really needs, but we have unlimited respect for our own needs. And we’re not only hurting our husbands–we’re hurting ourselves.
To Love, Honor and Vacuum, Why He Won’t Meet Your Needs
4. Christian women have come to believe on the one hand we’re to always treat others the way we want to be treated, and on the other that doing this for our husbands makes us a doormat.
Elspeth at Traditional Christianity, Why You Should Cater to Your Husband
5. We fight because of our desires, specifically unfulfilled desires. Sound familiar?
One Flesh Marriage, Sex: The Art of Asking for More
6. It’s one of those cases where you may win the battle but lose the war. In marriage, it’s either win-win or lose-lose. There is no win-lose. If you both don’t win, you both lose.
To Love, Honor and Vacuum, Am I too Hard on Women?
7. Remember – there are no exceptions in the Bible where it says on Birthdays, Mother’s Day and Valentine’s Day we have permission to get selfish and self-centered.
Women Living Well, What a Majority of Men Want for Valentine’s Day
8. We judge ourselves by our intentions. We judge our spouses by their actions. No wonder we think we’re better!
Anne Moodie, To Love, Honor and Vacuum, Live Blogging FamilyLife Canada’s Weekend to Remember Conference
9. Marriage is meant to be more about your surrender than about your satisfaction.
Journey to Surrender, Concluding Thoughts on Sexual Surrender.
10. Nowhere in the Bible does it say that we should wait for someone else to do the right thing before we do the right thing.
To Love, Honor and Vacuum, Am I too Hard on Women?
11. If the church is really all about good marriages and preventing divorce, it seems to me that we need to get very serious about helping couples with sex.
The Generous Husband, Sex–Important to Husbands and Wives
12. Sex is God’s idea. It is His blessing to husbands and wives. It is His provision for making children, increasing intimacy, and providing pleasure to married couples whom He loves. Take a brief moment today to thank Him for sex.
Hot, Holy and Humorous, Are you Thankful for Sex?
13. Your husband is not an “animal” for wanting to have sex. He is not being unreasonably demanding. And he is not a selfish pig.
Intimacy in Marriage, What Sex-Starved Husbands Tell Me
14. God-honoring sex is not dirty. But it is flirty!
Hot, Holy and Humorous, Talking Flirty vs. Talking Dirty
15. Interestingly, for the couples who used pornography as a tool or enhancement in the relationship, as therapy progresses, one or both of them didn’t really like the effects of it on themselves or the relationship. They were simply appeasing their partner’s desire.
Simple Marriage, Living According to What You Hold Dear
16. Sex will fall by the wayside if you do not intentionally make it a priority.
One Flesh Marriage, Sex is the Glue
17. You don’t need a lot of money to plan an off-the-charts sexual experience with the man you love. You don’t need a 5-star hotel, expensive outfit or $100 bottle of wine. All you need is your heart and a little creativity.
Intimacy in Marriage, The 5 Cheapeast Ways to Turn Your Husband On
18. Sex should be deeply intimate and connecting, and while the physical pleasure is great and important, too much focus on that (for yourself or your bride) means not having the ability to focus on other vital aspects of the sex act. Maybe we would all enjoy sex more, and maybe even have more of it, if we stuck to a narrow menu, with something extra thrown in only very rarely.
Generous Husband, How Much Variety Does it Take?
19. Quantity is a poor substitute for quality. Quantity plays a role, but it is a supporting role, not the leading role.
Intimacy in Marriage, Happy Husbands Come from Wives Who Put Out
20. Researchers found that spouses who reported above-average sexual satisfaction were 10 to 13 times more likely to be “very happy” in their marriage, compared with those who were less satisfied sexually.
Marriage Gems, Want a Happier Marriage? Be Generous
21. Intimacy should not be equated with sex. In fact, chances are, if you aren’t intimate in the other areas of your life your sexual intimacy will be one of the first things to suffer.
Marriage Life, Intimacy is a Marathon not a Sprint
22. So here is the bottom line for Christian leaders: Sexual refusal is a common and growing issue. Ignoring it does not mean it does not exist in your church, and being embarrassed about it does not get you off the hook with God.
Generous Husband, The Sex Sin the Church Ignores
23. The myth that women can open up to someone who may not marry, or remain married to them, is hogwash, baloney, hooey, and crap. Women want – no, need – security if they are to relax and to give themselves completely to their marriage partner. How can you feel free in the bedroom to give yourself fully to someone who may or may not be there tomorrow? Wives need to know that their hubbies love ‘em and will love ‘em tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day.
Hot, Holy and Humorous, How Women Feel About Noncomittal Sex
24. When you have children, your marriage is now more important, not less, because other people are counting on you!
To Love, Honor and Vacuum, Avoiding Marriage Ruts
25. Don’t let another day go by where the health of your relationship is sacrificed for a false sense of peace.
The Romantic Vineyard, Water into Wine
26. And in a world of celebrities constantly splitting up, having a good, solid marriage is something that can make others believe that God does make a difference, and that lifetime love is possible.
To Love, Honor and Vacuum, People are Watching Your Marriage
27. The desire for a happy marriage is present, strong and unquenchable. The work it takes to make a happy marriage is what most people standing at the altar do not understand.
Between The Sheets, Surprising Survey Finds Marriage is a Priority Among College Students
28. Give your man a break. Let him be who God designed him to be.
Hot, Holy and Humorous, Prince Ideal vs. Prince Real
29. Even if you are right, and she is wrong (and you are not right as often as you think, trust me on this) does that mean God has appointed you to correct her?
Generous Husband, Being Able to Disagree Agreeably
30. You don’t have to agree with him over everything. Just value him, listen to him and take him into consideration when there are choices to be made. And, please, never disgrace him publicly.
The Generous Wife, Worth and Value
31. How we handle our husband’s shortcomings reveals more about our own character than our husbands.
Women Living Well, How to Deal with Disappointment in Marriage
32. You might think that you have all of the answers and need to protect your husband from making the wrong choice, but nagging, pouting, losing your temper and complaining aren’t going make him a better man.
Time Warp Wife, Trust in the Potter
33. You are not his mother. He had a mother. He wants a wife! Your job is to make him happy, not holy. God does a better job at that.
Lori Alexander, Ashton’s Desire for a Wife
34. As I released my fears and unrealistic expectations, I started to really like and love my man for who he is – as a husband, father and friend. My heart and my marriage began to heal.
Renee Swope, RooMag, Searching for Happily Ever After
35. Your love for each other doesn’t have to be overwhelmed by your differences.
The Simple Mom, Will We Ever See Eye to Eye?
36. God is the ultimate rewarder, and will ensure that you get what you’re due. Trust him to take care of you while attempt to take care of your spouse.
Marriage Works, The Danger of Scratch My Back and I’ll Scratch Yours
37. Because one thing I’ve (finally!) learned is that no matter how I may be feeling at the moment, my husband is never “a problem”! He does not need me to “solve” him. “Math mode” simply does not work for marriage.
One Thing I’ve Learned, Healthy Marriages Major in History (Not Math)!
38. Kiss every chance you get.
Intimacy in Marriage, Do You Really Have Plenty of Time to Nurture Your Marriage?
39. What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do ONCE IN A WHILE,
Simple Marriage, The Secrets of Marriage
40. Most guys like to look and touch. Don’t be stingy with your body.
Generous Wife, Show Your Skin
41. As husbands, I think one reason we have some trouble with Paul’s command to love our wives “as Christ loved the church,” is that we don’t really fully know how Christ loves the church.
Journey to Surrender, What Kind of Love is This?
42. Hug him like you mean it!
Time Warp Wife, 10 Ways to Love Your Husband
43. Your only expectation of your future husband should be that he walk with Jesus. You want a man who will be a spiritual leader and that you worship Jesus together. If you have that, the chances of having a happy marriage are very high.
Lori Alexander, Your Standard of Beauty
44. You and your spouse are created in the image and likeness of God. Marriage speaks to the world about the Nature of God. Since Satan cannot hurt God, he will hurt you, His image, or your marriage, His reflection. Satan will interfere with your marriage in any way inhumanly possible. If he can’t end the marriage, he will mar it to make it as imperfect a reflection of God as he can entice the two of you to make it.
Garden of Holiness, Why Sex is Complicated
45. Put a couple together doing something for someone else and you’ll see a marriage full of joy that is contagious.
The Romantic Vineyard, So Where’s Your Focus
46. Nothing will undermine your effectiveness as a leader faster than a bad marriage.
Michael Hyatt, How to Become Your Spouse’s Best Friend
47. Having a goal helps us make choices that free us. The goals don’t chain us.
The Simple Mom, Living a Good Story in the Chaos
48. Never think that you are doing your children a favor by prioritizing them over your husband.
To Love, Honor and Vacuum, Your Husband Trumps Your Kids
49. A child-centered marriage is a recipe for disaster. Teach children early that their “happiness” is not Mom or Dad’s reason for living.
Breathing Grace, Everything I Know About Marriage in 200 Words or Less
50. Marriage is hard work and can be a bumpy road at times. But if I hang on tight to the hem of Jesus and the hand of my husband – I’ll have the best ride of my life!
Women Living Well, 14 Things I’ve Learned in 14 Years of Marriage
I hope you’ve enjoyed these! I’ll try to do make it a regular feature. And if you see any awesome quotes about marriages on blogs, send them to me!