7 responses

  1. Nurse Bee
    November 25, 2011

    I like that you added in the wife part for your column. Although I’m not sure the secular world necessarily agrees with the man as the provider role (even as a Christian, I’m not sure I agree with it).

  2. KitKat
    November 25, 2011

    Good article and advice for those not yet married. But what if you are already married and your spouse only has 2 or 3 of the four traits? I know you don’t give up on the marriage, but how do you work on “initiative” or “bringing out the best in you”?

    • Sheila
      November 26, 2011

      That’s a hard one, KitKat. I guess what I’d say is this: Look to yourself first. You can’t change another person, and requiring them to change to accept them will only make your marriage worse. Second, if there are real issues you need to bring up, spend some time working on your friendship first. The more you can laugh together, the more you build goodwill, and then the easier it is to deal with these things. I think the lack of initiative is quite a common problem these days, and just talking about what you both expect, or what is needed for the household to run, can help. But you can’t have that conversation when you’re angry or annoyed. You have to have it when there’s been some time to process and talk about things. Does that make sense?

  3. Jen
    March 16, 2012

    My guy is all of those things. :) I’m so blessed to have him in my life.

  4. Dee
    July 1, 2014

    I agree with you on all counts. I would add, if he is married he is NOT available. It should be obvious, it really should be. However, I was shocked how many of my husbands female “friends” felt he was available. Who knows what they are thinking. I know that they claim to be believers, that they know he is married and they don’t see anything wrong with late night hidden phone calls, private emails or knowing he is hiding stuff from me. They don’t know me, they just assume it must be my fault since he is “such a sweet, sensitive man”!

  5. Samantha Shank
    September 23, 2014

    I’m 16. the 3 musts in my dream guy?
    1. He must have a good character and personality – funny, honest, loyal, hard worker, etc.
    2. He must be a Christian Conservative willing to speak up for what’s right, no matter what.
    And lastly, he must be handsome (I’m not too picky haha) and he must be classy.

    That’s all I ask and I try to be all 3. :)

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