Marriage VLog: Just Say Yes to Sex!

Following up on yesterday’s Wifey Wednesday post, I thought I’d let you hear my voice and see my face as I tell you a bit more behind my reasoning: just say yes!

Here’s the problem: we think that if he wants sex once a day, and we want it once every two weeks, and we compromise to once a week, then we’re being good wives! Watch the video to get my take on this:


  1. aww, thank you so much for this video! You are so good at communicating and I gotta say that I’ve NEVER heard anyone say it the way you did, but it was like it all made sense all of a sudden! Awesome!

  2. Yes! “When you make love, don’t see it as doing a favor, see it as solidifying your marriage.”

    • Thanks! I think it’s bordering on pathetic to see sex as a favour most of the time. If a marriage gets like that, it can be a very unhealthy dynamic, eh? (Sorry, that’s the Canadian in me coming out at the end).

  3. A darker side of this is that an otherwise healthy man who is only getting sex every week or two is probably doing quite a bit of self-servicing as well, with or without visual aids. It creates a vicious cycle: man beats off -> doesn’t need wife -> wife feels unattractive, unloved -> acts unattractive unloved -> man not up for effort to woo increasingly unattractive, unlovely wife -> man beats off -> rinse -> repeat. You must break. The. Cycle. Turn off the TV, hop in bed, see what happens. On nights when he isn’t showing obvious interest, do him instead. The man will feel loved. So too, if she understands her man, will the wife.

  4. Securely Desired says:

    When we have regular physical intimacy, my husband is so much more ‘connected’ to me. He is more affectionate, more verbal, AND more helpful. Not that I ever use sex to get help with the dishes – it is just a behaviour that I have noticed.

    Bottom line – when we are intimate regularly we are both happier as people, and in our marriage. Talk about a win-win situation!

  5. Ok, feeling a little better. We’ve been married less than a year and tonight was the first time I stopped him and said no to sex. But I had a legit reason, I was in pain. We had it two nights in a row and I overdid it in ab workouts. Seriously, touches that were usually a part of a good light foreplay brought me pain. But I felt really bad about saying no because he was really ready to go. Posts like these have made me realize how important it is to say yes, but I feel little less guilty knowing I had a valid reason. I totally agree with Securely Desired’s comment too. We’ve both been feeling awesomely connected now that we connect more. Hence the guilt in the first place. Maybe if I hadn’t stopped him it would have been okay? *shrug* Too late now, but now I know for next time.

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