My Son is Waiting for Me In Heaven

I skipped church today.

Heaven Is For Real I don’t do that very often. I was actaully IN the building, but I didn’t go into the service. Instead, in a separate meeting with my pastor earlier this week, he had casually mentioned a book he had been given, called “Heaven is for Real“. It’s the story of a 4-year-old boy who went to heaven briefly during an emergency surgery for his burst appendix. Over the next few months, he started revealing this in casual conversation about what heaven was like.

Instead of listening to a sermon, I decided I needed to read that book.

You see, fifteen years ago today my son died. He was just a month old, but the pain is still with me. Usually I’m fine, but this has just been a hard summer, and his birthday last month and this anniversary of his death have just hit me harder than usual. I didn’t think I was up to church. So I read the book.

It is a beautiful book. I gave it to my daughter; she’s reading it this afternoon.

I don’t want to give it away, but let me tell you just a few of the things that sometimes haunt me as a mom, and what this book said.

This little boy, Colton, had lost a sibling before he was born. His mom miscarried at just a few months along. And when Colton was in heaven, a girl came up to him, and hugged him, and spoke to him and told him that she was his sister. A few months after Colton “came back”, he casually mentioned meeting his other sister. His parents froze, because they had never told Colton about the baby. And they hadn’t known it was a girl. When they asked him how big she was, he said she was “a little smaller than Cassie”. Cassie was Colton’s older sister; the baby had been miscarried when Cassie was a year old.

I have always wondered if babies age in heaven, but it sounds like this little boy’s sister was just the same age as she would have been.

And as I was reading that, for the first time, it hit me. My son is 15. He’s 15! He’s not a perpetual baby; he’s enjoying his life and he’s a teenager. It just made me smile.

There’s so much more in the book, told through the innocent eyes of a small child, and it’s very beautiful. I’ve usually been skeptical about stories like this; I always feared that it was people looking for attention. But earlier this year I finally read 90 Minutes in Heaven, and then I read this, and both books completely match up to Scripture. They don’t contradict Scripture at all. And they’re very encouraging.

I have always said that when I think of heaven, I think of meeting Jesus, and I think of Christopher showing me around, being my tour guide. But it’s nice to know that my other baby–the one that I miscarried–will be there, too. He or she is 18 now. And they’re happy, and they’re safe, and they’re joyful, and they’re waiting.

I just needed that today.  And if you need some more assurance of heaven, I urge you to read Heaven is for Real. It really is beautiful.

Comments

  1. I agree its a great book! Have not see or read 90 minutes in Heaven, but Heaven Is For Real was very encouraging for me … knowing that 5 of my babies were born right into heaven (2 just this year). Pregnancy and baby loss is such a terrible lonely road to travel, but there is comfort in knowing that my babies have never known that kind of pain or sorrow. they are safe and happy and sitting with Jesus.

    I would guess God knew all along you would not attend church today … the message he had for you today was in that book. He knows what we need … I cling to that promise on a daily basis, or would go crazy. And I’m glad you did not keep that message to your self … glad to see you sharing it!

    • Thanks, Heather! It really was a nice book, and gave me a good cry, which I needed! I’m sorry about your babies…but I’m glad they’re safe.

  2. A dear friend of mind sent me this book to bring me comfort in facing life without my daughter Livvy. It did feel my heart with joy but it didn’t ease the pain in my heart from the missing.

    • No, I don’t think the pain from missing ever really goes away, does it? I like to think, though, that each day that passes is not one more day away from him, but one more day that I’m closer to him.

  3. Hi Sheila,
    I must admit that this type of pain is unfamiliar to me; though I do know the pain of being unable to have any more children biologically. I know it’s not the same. While I am sad that you and others did not get a chance to know your children here on earth, I am overjoyed to know that they are in heaven waiting for you.

    My sister-in-law miscarried earlier this year. She is not a religious person or woman of faith at all. I was wondering if either of these books would be a comfort to her? Would one be better than the other? She is a medical professional who thinks more along the lines of science than faith. She’s also pro-choice (which makes me terribly sad) so I’m not really sure how she’s grieving or coping. We really don’t see a lot of each other so it’s hard to tell. But it sure is comforting to me to know that I have a little niece or nephew waiting for me in heaven.

    Thank you for sharing this part of you with us.

    • Heather, 90 Minutes in Heaven is far more “clinical”, but it doesn’t really talk about children in heaven. It does have a lot of medical stuff, though, so I would say that one’s better. If she had any faith at all, I’d say Heaven is for Real would be better in that case. My husband’s a doctor, and I’m just picturing his colleagues, so I’d say the 90 Minutes one. I’ll pray for you as you try to decide!

  4. I am so sorry to read this, Sheila – I didn’t know.

    I’m glad you found and took the space and time given to you to nurture your own heart today. I don’t for one moment believe that time heals the wounds of loss. Rather, time knits over the space left behind, but am lifted by the thought that you are one day closer to your son. What a comforting thought. I shall reframe my own loss this way, too.

    I love the idea of your son guiding you around Heaven – what a lovely image! I always picture my brother moving the heavy stuff for God and it pleases me, comforts me on the days when missing him is overwhelming.

    Hugs to you, Mama. On this and every day.

  5. My baby girl, Anna Vivian, who would be almost 12 and a half now, is waiting to show me around, too!

  6. Wow, Sheila. I just came to your post after reading about the heartbreaking miscarriage of another blogger (which once again reminded me of the baby that I miscarried just over 2 years ago). Thanks for sharing this :) Won’t it be such an awesome reunion!

  7. Can’t help but ask all of you: Where did you THINK your children and unborn babies who died were, prior to your reading this book? Christians have always believed these little ones are in heaven with God. Where else would they be?

    • Of course we believe they are there, but there’s still all sorts of questions: do they grow? Will we recognize them? Will they know us? What about the babies that we miscarried? Will they be there–especially if you miscarried early? You can have faith, but it’s always nice to have reassurances. That’s all.

  8. Oh.

  9. The Word of God gives us those answers.

    • I have not read anything in the Bible that would point to the eternal destiny of miscarried babies. Could you please tell me where that is? Thank you.

      • There isn’t anything specifically in the Bible, except that the Bible affirms the personhood of babies before they are born in passages like Psalm 139: He knit me together in my mother’s womb. Or Jeremiah 1, where it talks about how God had a specific plan for Jeremiah while he was still in utero. So if God considers them persons, then why would they not be treated like other people when they die?

  10. I found this post through Pinterest. I love this book & it is just so reassuring! There is now a picture book written by the same people for children. It is wonderful! It describes briefly what happened to Colton with his emergency but the bigger picture is about heaven and how wonderful it is. It also talks about him meeting Jesus and stresses how much Jesus LOVES children! I regularly read it to my Sunday school class (4-5 year olds). Thank you so much for sharing, Sheila!

  11. I read “Heaven Is For Real” as well, and although it raised a couple small red flags (everyone having wings, and the location of Jesus’s nailprints), there was nothing crucial that contradicted Scripture, except for the fact that Scripture clearly states in Proverbs 30:4 and John 3:13 that no one has ascended into heaven except for the Son of Man. I’m not sure to what we should attribute Colton Burpo’s experience. Maybe it was a “vision” of heaven, or maybe Satan used a whole lot of actual truth to hook people onto this idea of “visiting heaven.” Why don’t we just stick to what the Bible actually says about heaven? It’s completely reliable, as opposed to a little boy’s unverifiable account.

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