I’ve written a lot on this blog about how we women often disparage men, and that’s a bad thing. I’ve talked about how we have to let men be men, accept that their different, and understand that just because we see the world a certain way, it doesn’t mean that we’re right and they’re stupid. It just means that we have different viewpoints. And that’s okay.
In fact, I’m quite passionate about this. I’ve written many columns in my seven years as a columnist explaining why I think male bashing is so dangerous. It makes men feel inferior, pushes them out of the family, and contributes to the marginalization of true masculinity in our society.
So I feel a little chagrined today, because I received an email after my last column accusing me of doing just that. In that column, I wrote that men are capable of thinking about nothing, and women aren’t. This is often a point of contention in a marriage.
But I went on to say that women are jealous of this brain feature and so continually try to find ways to think about nothing, to no avail. So we may berate them for it, but we also wish we could do it, every now and then.
Here’s my question: was I male bashing? I don’t think I was. First, I was talking about something which is a fact. Women have more connections in their brains than men do, which is why we recover from strokes more easily. We can’t turn off our thoughts as much. Men can.
I was also using an analogy from a best-selling book whose purpose is to explain gender differences so that we can see that neither side is right; we’re only different. I thought I was taking the same approach.
Finally, my impression was that I was, if anything, making fun of women, not men. I told how women thought about the stupidest things, and I outlined our quest to be like men. So I don’t think it was male bashing.
I do think I used humour (or at least tried to; you can be the judge of whether it was really funny). But I don’t believe I was putting men down. I was just describing an honest difference between the genders.
So here’s my question for you: was it male bashing? I’m open to being told it was. Maybe I need to be less flippant in my joking. And where is the line between joking and bashing? I do think we need to laugh at ourselves, and especially our relationships. And I think people learn better with humour. Most people honestly aren’t aware of these gender differences, and when we explain them, it often improves a relationship.
Also, I don’t think describing a difference means that you’re bashing one side or the other. Women are more emotional; is it female bashing to say so? I don’t think it is. There are differences. We need to see them.
Bashing, I think, is making fun of one gender and coming to the conclusion that this means that they’re somehow inferior, or don’t function as well. Pointing out differences, then, I don’t think is bashing.
So help me out: how do I draw the line better? I’m very against male bashing, and I don’t want to participate. But I also do want to be funny and help the general public understand some of these things (I think Christians are more in tune to gender differences than the public is, which is why I’ve been writing about it in my column, which is aimed at a general audience).
Leave a comment and help me out! Thanks so much! And enjoy your week!